Happy birthday big man!! 🩵
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Happy birthday big man!! 🩵

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Hi could you write about erling not liking when his girlfriend wears a bra around the house/when they are alone? Him being in love with her and her body, but her being insecure, especially having natural big breasts? Erling having a thing for her boobs, but like not only sexual, he likes touching them, using them as his personal pillow, massaging them (his gf telling him he acts like they are his stress balls). Basically him being her biggest supporter :))
I LOVE YOUR... - e.h
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“Erling?!” It was the third time you called for your boyfriend in the last five minutes. Was he deaf? “Breakfast’s ready! It’s getting cold!”
Still no response.
“I swear to God…” You let out a sigh, going upstairs. The house was completely silent due to the sole presence of the two. When you made it to the bedroom, a laugh almost escaped your mouth.
Erling was still wrapped on the covers, just as you left him thirty minutes ago. Seems like the constant attempts to wake him up were useless. His face was buried on your pillow, making your heart melt. You tiptoed around the bed until you were next to him, taking advantage of his sleepness to brush your fingers through his hair. A tiny smile drew on his face, letting you know he wasn’t as asleep as you thought.
“So you decided to sleep in while your servant made breakfast?” You joked, dropping yourself on him.
“Of course not, baby” He replied with his eyes still closed. “It’s just that I’m too tired.” He grabbed you by the hips, and with one movement, you were under him. “What about if we sleep a bit more?” His hands, as usual, slip past your shirt, looking for your boobs.
Typical.
They stopped above your bra, and you heard almost immediately his huff.
“Why are you wearing this again?” He always complained when you wore a bra around the house. Always.
“I told you! It’s more comfortable this way, they’re way too big for me to just let them hang free!” You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling his hands roll your bra up so he could grab them bare. “What I don’t get is why you are always touching my boobs… You know? They’re not stress balls.”
“You sure? They always make me feel better and relaxed after touching them for a while.” His hands were still massaging you. At this point, this type of physical contact wasn’t even sexual. It was more of a weird hug. "And, this is the best pair of boobs in the world. Makes sense, because they're attached to the best body as well."
"Look who's talking" You smiled, feeling your heart do a pirouette, like everytime he said things like that.
“I’m average-looking next to you” His eyes met yours for a brief moment before kissing you the only way he knew. God, you loved this man. “You’re beautiful in any way possible. Sometimes I wonder how I got you”
“Easy. I saw those lips and it was case closed” You said before returning the kiss.
“Sounds like we’re both drawn by looks. How shallow.” He joked back, giving a final squeeze to your chest before letting them go. “What about breakfast?”
“Oh, now you want breakfast?” You laughed, biting your lip when he seemed confused.
“Of course, that food is as delicious as you are, I’m sure” He went inside the bathroom, leaving your blushing self behind.
“Idiot…” You whispered, feeling more in love than ever.
Maybe you should stop wearing bras, they were uncomfortable anyways.
could you do a nsfw alphabet for Erling? 🥰
omg ofc i love these <3
special mention to this absolute masterpiece of a picture 😻😻😻
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
okay erling would 100% be just the sweetest man ever after sex. he would always clean you up and if he had been particularly rough he would check so many times that you were okay and if he could do anything for you, give you his clothes and even dress you as you led there all sleepy and content with his love
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
his favourite body part of his would be his hands. he loved how they looked on your body, be that gripping your hips or wrapped around your neck as he fucked you
i don’t know why i just always see erling as a legs man. he’s so tall so regardless of your height you could always wear your heels that exentuated your legs. he would always touch them whether it be when you’re chilling on the sofa watching a movie or driving somewhere in his car and he would reach one hand over and just rest it on your thigh
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
ughhh erling would love coming inside you. the first time you told him he could ditch the condoms he could’ve came right then and there on the spot. he loves filling you up and pulling out and watching his come seep out of you
Baby Fever
P A R T 2
pairing - erling haaland x (fem)reader
genre - fluff / smut
warnings - smut !!! please do not read if you’re under 18 <3 swearing, breeding kink, size kink, unprotected sex, minors dni
read part one here !!
part 3 !
Frozen Family Portrait

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Dinner Plans | Erling Haaland
Too bad we have dinner plans, right?
Pairing: Erling Haaland x reader
Summary: Bratty reader teasing Erling (I think…basically)
Tags: mild teasing, sexual innuendos
Minors beware
He was leaning against the door frame and you could feel his burning gaze on your bare back, the form fitting dress you wore being backless.
“Are you ready?” Erling asked, beginning to lose his patience.
You ignored him. You would rather be spending the evening in the comfort of your shared apartment but he had made plans for you both with his teammates and it was too late to back out now. The introvert in you was in a sour mood and you were going to be bratty with him all evening.
You took your time wearing your earrings and necklace, both gifts from him, catching his eye in the mirror.
“Are you going to be like this all evening?” He stepped closer to you, coming fully into the bathroom.
You folded your arms, aware of how the action lifted your breasts, and stared down his reflection. “Like what? How am I being?”
“Like a brat,” he said, exasperated.
“Well, I’m sorry I don’t like being forced to play dress up and socialize on short notice.” You watched in the mirror as his cool gaze flicked from your face to your cleavage and back again. You began to hatch a plan in your mind to tease him throughout the entire dinner, your own form of revenge.
His hands snaked around your waist pulling you flush against his semi-hard length. Even in heels, you barely came up to his neck. One hand remained on your hip while the other slowly inched it’s way up to your neck.
“Please don’t be difficult with me, I remember telling you about this 2 days ago.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck and you watched in the mirror as he left deliberate kisses on your neck. You suppressed a moan as he found that spot, not wanting to give him that satisfaction. “I don’t want to fight. Plus you look so beautiful in this dress, I’m tempted to take it off you right now.”
Mustering every ounce of willpower you had, you pried his wandering hands from your body and turned to face him. “Too bad we have dinner plans, right?” You patted his chest and sauntered out of the bathroom, grabbing your purse from the bed and waiting for him by the door.
He groaned as he followed behind you. This was going to be a long evening for him.
A/N: we Erling girlies are being starved on this app🙏🏻
Morning - Erling Haaland
word count - 483
warning - none
Request - no
Waking up together was a thing you and Erling both favored so much in your relationship, but never really happened because you had school in the morning and he had practice. Saturday was a day off for the both of you and was usually spent in each other arms while watching a movie.
After Fight
Summary: Erling and Reader get into a small fight which then turns into some filthy smut. Slight angst in the beginning, SMUT!
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“What the hell is this?” Erling asks, walking into your bedroom with disbelief and shock written all over his face. You looked up from your phone and were greeted with a shirtless Erling holding up his Manchester City jersey, only it was about three times smaller than usual. Your eyes widened as you placed a hand over your mouth.
“Oh, my goodness!” You let out, standing up to inspect the jersey. Erling lets go of the jersey, letting it puddle to the floor as his large hand runs down his face in frustration. You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, finding humor in the thought of Erling sporting a cropped version of Man City’s uniform.
“You think this is funny?” Erling snaps at you, taking you by surprise. You thought Erling would have been laughing with you. You shrug in response, “a little,” you admit, a small smile forming on your lips. He scoffs at you, bending down and snatching the jersey off the floor. He looks at you with stern eyes, anger visible in his blue orbs.
“I'm gonna be late for practice and it’s all your fault.” He states accusingly, your smile falters as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“What are you- my fault?” You couldn’t even choose what sentence to respond with, anger bubbling in your blood.
“Yes, you're a grown woman. You should know how to do laundry by now.” He shakes his head in disapproval, walking right past you and into your shared closet. You stood there, dumbfounded by his words. You feel yourself go red, chest heaving rapidly, eyes scanning the now empty space in front of you. You follow him angrily into the closet, your arms folded over your chest. Erling doesn’t even acknowledge you as he searches the racks of clothing for a spare jersey.
“If that’s how you feel, then maybe you should do your own laundry.” You respond fiercely. You glared up at his side profile, waiting for his response or a change of heart.
“You know what?” He turns to you, and suddenly you remember how tall he was compared to you. You take a small step back, your confidence fading and the anger in your eyes momentarily flickered with fear. “I will.” He states, turning his attention back to the racks. You open your mouth to respond but before you can, you hear him mutter something under his breath.
“You never know how to do anything right anyway.”
You clenched your jaw, your eyes stinging with tears. Erling, noticing your lack of response, turns to you. If it weren’t for your blurred version, you would have seen his hardened expression soften, guilt and regret replacing every trace of anger. You try blinking away your tears, only for a few to squeeze out. Erling reaches for your face, wanting to stroke them off your soft cheeks. You quickly back away, wiping your own tears before turning and leaving him in the closet. He’s quick to follow you, turning you by your shoulder and engulfing you in a tight hug. Your cheek and arms are pressed tightly against his bare chest, tears flowing freely from your eyes.
“I’m so sorry my love,” he whispers, his Norwegian accent thicker than usual, “I should have never said that.” You let him hold you like this for some time, relaxing into his warm embrace. His large hand gently holds your chin, turning your head so he could see your face. You look up at him through tear-soaked lashes, eyes full of sadness. Erling literally felt his heart shatter, angry with himself for making you feel like this.
“Please, what can I do for you to forgive me?” He asks, his soft gaze searching your eyes for some sign of forgiveness. You bite your lip, the question making you feel things you shouldn’t. You snake your arms around his neck, bringing the side of his head to your level while getting on your tippy toes.
“Fuck me.” You whisper in his ear. With only two words, Erling could already feel his cock twitching with excitement. He quickly turns to meet your gaze, wondering whether you were serious or not. He knew you weren’t joking when your eyes, once full of sorrow, were now clouded with lust. Just like that, he forgets all about practice. He places a large hand on your throat, gently pushing you backwards and onto the bed. You sit down on the edge, still looking up at him teasingly and pretending you didn’t notice his raging bulge. He looks down at you with hungry eyes, already feeling the pleasure of your lips wrapped around his dick. He quickly slides down his white shorts and boxers, his monster cock springing free. He hisses as the cold air embraces his throbbing shaft. He grips it firmly, his tip already leaking. Before he can tap his tip against your lips, you put a finger up.
“No,” you say sternly, catching Erling by surprise, “I said. Fuck. Me.” You remind him. He smirks, slowly undressing you himself. Now completely nude, you lean back on your elbows and bring your knees up before spreading them wide. Erling swallows hard at the sight, your pussy glistening and begging to be fucked by his cock. He crawls on top of you, his lips smashing into yours. It’s sloppy but passionate, your core heating up at the smacking noises. He trails his kisses from your lips to your jaw, then your neck, down the valley of your breast and finally dangerously close to your aching cunt. You watch as he dived down, his tongue plunging into you. You let out a loud moan, your hands gripping his hair tightly. You were so glad he didn’t have it up. He grunts against your pussy with each tug, the sensation sending you further into pleasure.
“Oh, Erling. Just like that.” You praise him. Your hips jolting with each swirl of his tongue. He reaches a hand up, gripping your breast tightly. His thumb caresses your sensitive nipple. You gasp, overwhelmed by all this gratification.
“I’m gonna come.” You let out through high pitched moans. He doesn’t even flinch, adding two thick fingers inside you and pumping them rapidly. That’s all you need as the knot in your stomach comes undone. Moans and whines escape your lips as you lose complete control of your body, shivers running up and down your spine. Erling roughly pumped himself at the sight of your orgasm, proud of what he’d done to you.
Before you could properly recover, Erling stands at the edge of the bed and pulls you toward him, stuffing every inch of his manhood into your raw cunt. It hurt so good. You moan loudly, your tight pussy violently clenching around his girth. He lets out a grunt, your walls feeling slicker and warmer than ever before. He grips your thighs as your legs are up against his chest. With more access to your core, his thrusts became rougher and animalistic. He looks down, watching as he pulls all the way out before slamming back in. All you can do is moan, looking up at him with droopy eyes. His eyes focus on your tits, watching as they jolt with every thrust. He reaches down and slaps one of them, leaving an instant red handprint. You gasp in response, head thrown back against the bed as you grip the sheets beneath you. Sweat begins to build up on Erling’s forehead, soaking the roots of his blonde hair. He reaches down again, only this time placing his large hand around your neck. He applies a tiny amount of pressure which is enough to send you into overdrive. Your walls clench around him even tighter, earning a groan from the giant man above you. You could feel your second orgasm creeping up inside you.
“Erling,” you struggled to let out.
“I know baby, I know.” He says, his hands tightly grip your waist as he jackhammers into you. He grunts and groans, his cock twitching and pulsating against your walls. He’s balls deep now, struggling to keep up with his previous brutal pace.
“Let go, my love.” He whispers in Norwegian and that’s all you need. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your second orgasm rocks your entire body. Erling thrusts a few more times before you hear him moan your name, his load warming your insides. His limp cock slips out and you whimper at the feeling. Erling collapses beside you, trying to catch his breath. He places his calloused hand on top of yours, his fingers interlacing with yours.
“Do you forgive me?” Erling asks sincerely. You smile, nodding in response.
“Well, I guess it is my fault you're late to practice now.” You joke, glancing at the clock on the wall. Erling smiles, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. You're too spent to even move, opting to stay in bed naked for a bit longer. After some time, he gets up and slides his boxers on before heading back into the closet.
“I think this would look so hot on you.” You look up to see Erling holding up the shrunken jersey.
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