#egretkit

"Sunlight Here and Shadows There"

This one ended up being much longer than most of the other epilogues, but I suppose I had a lot to say about the kittens. I've always been really fond of their designs and personalities, so I wanted to dig into what they might do when they grow up. They occupied an interesting place in the story - more of plot devices than characters, putting pressure on the rest of the characters whether it was about who'd they mate with someday or how to feed them properly. I like em a lot!

From this issue on, I'll be disusing the tag "bluebellkit" and replacing it with "sky", although it'll still be available for old posts. Please only refer to Sky with that name and he/him pronouns!

This title is from Jerome Bixby's story "It's a Good Life" - my all time favorite sci-fi short story: “He had made rocks and trees and bushes and caves, and sunlight here and shadows there, because he had felt in all the tiny minds around the desire - or instinctive want - for this kind of resting place, and that kind of mating place, and this kind of place to play, and that kind of home.”

Before being in the nursery, MarigoldFang was an agile cat, often being the one to deal the final blow on fleeing prey others did not get, her kits are 3 moons old, and no one knows who their father is, and MarigoldFang doesn't seem so keen on sharing that.

The sun beamed down on the camp of iris-clan, beating down on the heavy soil and warming up the rocks. Many warriors found themselves Sun bathing or skipping along these hot rocks to avoid burning the sensitive skin of their paws. Bitterkit found herself watching quietly from the nursery, letting out a sigh as she felt the breeze move along her ginger fur. Most kits would be bouncing at the thought of today, the idea of becoming an apprentice, their first pawsteps into becoming a warrior and serving their clan with all they have- but she felt nothing but a sinking feeling tearing at her stomach. Bitterkit had, by all consideration, been nothing but a leech to her clan mates- she wasn’t born into iris-clan, instead bought and saved by their now leader, quietstar.

by then she was raised under the watchful eye of the leader, all she knew was that she was saved undoubtedly by the leader. Bitterkit owed her life to that she-cat, and wouldn't forget.. she’d do anything she could to repay back all the work her clan had put in for her, but what if she couldn’t? She was born a rogue, rogues were never cut out for clan life. She had heard stories and tales of rogues betraying their clan, leaving them for dead in desperate times when the clan could no longer be of use to them. Maybe deep down, she was selfish, maybe she just hadn’t had a chance to prove it yet.

“Bitterkit!” A voice suddenly sprang, and Bitterkit yelped as she was tackled to the ground. She looked up to see her attacker, and simply rolled her eyes as she saw it was egretkit. “we’re becoming apprentices today! Isn’t that exciting? I’m excited! Oh I hope I get a good mentor- quietstar wouldn’t pair me in with a grumpy cat, do you think? Oh I hope it’s not panthersong, she’s awful.” He snorted, but kept a large smile on his face as his stump for a tail flickered a bit. He waited patiently for Bitterkit to respond.

“No.. im sure quietstar will pair you with a brave warrior,” Bitterkit said, pushing him off her- rolling her eyes playfully. “Or maybe she’ll get old goldmask to teach you,” she smirked, and egretkit shook his head “the elder?? He’s like.. a gazillion years old.” Egretkit shook his head, and jumped up as he heard someone enter the nursery.

“Heyy.. goldmask isn’t that old, is he? He was my mentor!” Two Tom’s entered the den, Bitterkit recognized quietstars son, brindle-fur. He was a slim, Smokey-gray tabby with a white underbelly and brown eyes. He had entered with his friend, egretleaf. Egretleaf was a taller Tom with a pattern reminiscent to a snow-leopard, the ones often seen on sage’ clan territory. Egretkit tried to hide his laughter from the two older warriors. “im sorry.. I didn’t mean he was that old!” He tried to say, but couldn't contain his laughter. “you two are becoming apprentices today,” brindle-fur remarked, looking over at Bitterkit specifically. “You need to be on your best behavior, not going around insulting your elders.” He chastised, but there was no real harm felt in his voice.

“sorry.. hey, egretleaf,” egretkit purred, “you don’t think quietstar will name me after you when it comes to my naming ceremony, right?” He asked, and egretleaf purred. “Oh.. hmm.. egretleaf number 2 has a good ring to it. Good idea, egretkit. When it comes time for you to get your warrior name, I’ll personally make sure quietstar names you after me.” Egretleaf smirked, eliciting a small “noooo!” From egretkit.

brindle-fur chuckled softly, sitting down on the soft dirt of the nursery. “you nervous?” He asked Bitterkit, who looked away, silently tracing her paw in a circle. “A little.” She admitted, to which brindlefur nodded. “I was always a bit nervous for both my ceremonies.” He admitted, and Bitterkit opened up a bit more.

“im a rouge-kit, what if nobody cheers for my name? I’m not meant to be here.” Bitterkit mewled, which brindlefur shook his head. “hey now, you’ve got a reason to be in here as much as anybody else.” He said, and leaned down to affectionately nuzzle her. “And, I’ll make sure to cheer your name the loudest if nobody else wants to.” He purred, and Bitterkit smiled at his reassurance.

Egretleaf’s ear twitched as he heard quietstars voice yowl out for a clan meeting, and he nodded- gesturing for the two kits to follow. egretkit bounced eagerly out the den, while Bitterkit slowly followed.

they made their way to the clearing, Bitterkit could see the open circle everyone had made for them to step into, and she gulped a bit nervously as she walked through the crowd.

The camp was made out a small clearing at a beach, one side forest and the other a solid view of the body of water and sands. Among this clearing was a large rock, one which quietstar had perched herself on. The large deputy, mintshadow, had moved himself on the lower rock- he watched as the two kits approached, their pawsteps making indents in the soft sands.

“today, two kits will traverse their way out of the nursery into the open sands of iris-clan, and find their calling. This is their first dive into the steps of becoming fully loyal to their clan, no longer becoming a helpless kit, but growing into a strong, brave, and skilled warrior.” Quietstar announced, looking down from the meeting rock at the two kits.

“bitterkit, egretkit, you two have reached 6 moons of age, meaning you are fully prepared to become apprentices, do you vow to train rigor-fully, and prove yourself useful to the clan?” Quiet-star quipped. “I do!” Egretkit mewed eagerly, and bitterkit nodded- a sense of determination in her chest. “I do.” She said.

“then, with starclans blessings, I hereby grant you the title of apprentice- bitterpaw and egretpaw.” Quiet-star dawned, a sense of pride dwelling in bitterpaw.

She could hear the clan chant proudly, repeating their names and cheering for their new steps into becoming a warrior.

“bitterpaw- your mentor shall be icefur. She will lead you through your journey to becoming ann independent warrior.”

bitterpaw leaned up, looking over at icefur- she was a brown, speckled she. Icefur seemed to be missing an eye- which was, admittedly freaky, but bitterpaw didn’t mind too much. She touched noses with her new mentor and left to sit with her and brindlefur. egretkit got assigned blueneedle, and went to go sit with the large Tom.

Bitterpaw watched as the meeting dismissed, and sat up straighter as she saw quietstar approach. “…im proud of you,” quietstar quietly admitted. “You’re going to grow into a fine young warrior.” She said, and bitterpaw couldn't help but lean into her, purring as quietstar put a paw over her.

She had never gotten much praise from the elder she-cat. Just cold glances and the occasional nod of approval every now and then. But this made bitterpaw heart burst- like she had finally done something that mattered, something that would truly make quietstar proud.

“Now go- rest up, tomorrow is your first tour around the territory.” Quiet-star nodded, walking away silently. Icefur smiled softly down at bitterkit, brindlefur sitting next to the brown she-cat.

“I’d listen to your leader.” She said sweetly, her ear flickering. “It’ll be a long tread among the territory tomorrow, don’t want you falling asleep at the badgers den or anything.” She joked, her voice a sweet, yet teasing tone.

bitterpaw listened, standing up as she walked off with brindlefur- who showed her the apprentice den.

“told you it would go well.” He chimed, watching as she settled into her new nest. “Yeah, I guess it did.” Bitterpaw grinned, watching as egretpaw was snoring in the nest behind her. “Me and egretleaf bumped heads a lot as apprentices, but he’s my best friend now, I don’t know what I’d do without that mousebrain.” He shook his head. “Being an apprentice ain't all hard work, but it’s good to have people you can count on when it feels like an uphill climb.” Brindlefur advised, and then smiled down at her. “I promise I’ll be there when you feel your paws starting to lose grip on the rocks.”

"The Death of BarrenClan: Part Four"

It seems you're at the end of the line.

The rabbit on pages 11 and 12 is a cameo of Remington's character, Mohave.

"Moth-Soft Murmurings"

Many people have asked me if I consider Egrettail and Blacknose to be a couple (along with a polycule with Mallowstar). The answer I give is frustratingly vague - I do, kind of, but I also am still very strong in Egrettail being aromantic and asexual. An important point to me in her relationship with Blacknose is finding the relationship that works for you, and being able to use the labels that fit you best while still engaging in the love that you want. It's something between romantic and platonic for Egrettail, and that is perfectly okay.

If I'd had more time, I would have liked to go a little more into Blacknose's progressing dementia, but I'm okay with how I ended up portraying it. The extremely sad thing about degenerative diseases like dementia is that while you can try and mitigate them, they are ultimately uncurable. Blacknose had early-onset dementia, so in terms of this comic, she likely spent the rest of her life in the more severe stages of it. However, the strong support of those around a person with dementia will always be a crucial part of helping them live their best life. And Blacknose was lucky enough to have just that.

The title is taken from Harlan Ellison's story "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream": “He smiled softly at the pit that dropped into the center of my brain and the faint, moth-soft murmurings of all the things far down there that gibbered without meaning, without pause.”