#eeeyyyyyyy

Her hand slaps around for her phone, finally digging it out from under her own pillow. She squints at the too-bright screen but manages to pull her messages up. She presses lightly over Tommy’s name.

‘Babe, I’m so sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me. I never should have hit that guy. Call me soon, please?’

Kim’s face twists into a grimace as more memories from the night begin to return. She’d gotten jealous first, she remembers, but Tommy had been the one to hit a guy she’d accidentally spilled some of her drink on. The guy had been a good sport about the entire thing, and Kim had only been trying to apologize.

Things have been getting like that between them lately, far too often. Kim isn’t sure what makes her insides twist up and feel so ugly when she sees Tommy talking to another girl, but she knows he must be feeling poisoned by the same thing.

She sends a mental apology to the innocent bystanders of last night’s scuffle.

They never used to be like this. They’d been happy, simpatico at one time. They used to make each other better.

Kind of like—Kim cuts the thought off. Her body betrays her anyway, her face subtly nudging closer to Trini’s pillow. The scent soothes her, and the acid twisting in her gut eases just slightly.

She sighs when she realizes what’s happened.

Kim can remember the first time she’d met Tommy Oliver. It had been in detention Sophomore year, and Tommy had barely been at Angel Grove for a week.

His wide smile had drawn her attention first.

The way he looked her in the eye instead of checking her out had kept her attention.

They’d been sixteen when they’d fallen in love; then, Kim had been sure that she and Tommy would be together forever.

She’d never known how difficult the changes from sixteen to twenty would be. She’d never known that sometimes too much passion was just too much.

She’d never known Trini.

Her face burns when she recalls one last important thing about the previous night. She wishes she could forget, just like she wishes she could forget all the other times.

“No. Trini, I love you.”

The vacant look on Trini’s face makes Kim’s stomach queasy.

“You’re drunk,” Trini retorts flatly.

“I mean it,” Kim whispers, eyes stinging.

Trini studies her for a long moment, her face solemn. “Tell me in the morning.”

Kim’s shame burns so fiercely in her stomach she wonders if she’ll be sick. God, she’d gotten sick last night too. At least she hadn’t gotten Trini this time.

Her throat works as she buries her face entirely in the bedcovers. “I’m a mess.”

The words are muffled but no one’s around to hear them anyway.

She’s got to stop doing this to Trini. And Tommy.

She and Tommy have been together too long to just give up now. They have years together, history. She owes it to what they’ve had to keep trying, to figure out what’s been going wrong. Relationships take work, and she won’t abandon Tommy—not the way her dad had abandoned her mom.

All she needs to do is… is…

Trini is her friend. Her best friend. She’s just got to remember that. She loves Tommy.

With her head still a mass of pounding pain, she sits up and rests her back against the headboard. Still clutching Trini’s pillow, Kim presses the call button under Tommy’s name.

“Hey,” comes his soft, contrite voice.

Kim closes her eyes and pictures Tommy of Sophomore year and his crooked smile, the baggy jeans he’d favored in high school. That Tommy would have never hit a guy for talking to Kim.

“Hey,” she returns just as softly.

The silence extends long enough for Kim to half-bury her face against the pillow.

“What’s going on with us, Kim? Something’s not right. This isn’t us.”

When Kim’s eyes sting she tells herself it’s because of the pain in her head—not the relief she’s feeling that Tommy’s said it first.

“I don’t know, Tommy,” she says as she tries desperately not to think of Trini.

For a moment they only listen to each other’s breathing. Trini’s is always slow and steady when she sleeps. Tommy’s isn’t anything like that right now, and neither is Kim’s.

“I’m scared.” Tommy’s voice is small.

Kim takes a shuddering breath as she struggles not to cry. “Me too.”

“You’re supposed to be in class,” Tommy finally says in something like a normal voice.

“Too hungover,” Kim explains. Her lips twitch; Trini’s class will be ending soon. If Kim doesn’t move, she’ll still be here when Trini returns—and though Trini won’t lecture her, Kim can picture the soft disappointment in Trini’s eyes when she realizes that Kim’s skipped class. Again.

“Maybe we should stop going out so much. I know you said it wouldn’t be an issue with class, but it’s obvious that’s not true.”

Kim purses her lips. Several months ago she and Tommy had had a huge fight. Between her increased course load and his work, they hadn’t had much time for each other. They’d sworn to make time, and that’s what she’s been attempting to do.

“I’m trying, Tommy.” Her voice has risen, an almost natural reaction these days when they speak. She stops and silently counts to ten.

“I wasn’t trying to pick a fight, Kim. I just…”

A trickle of fear sweeps down Kim’s spine. The silences never used to be so terrifying.

“Let’s talk later when we’re not hungover,” she chokes out when it feels like she’ll suffocate.

Tommy sighs. “Yeah, okay.”

They say their goodbyes and then Kim’s laying back down.

She doesn’t let go of Trini’s pillow, or move until she hears the sound of the front door unlocking.

The worry that’s had her curled up into a ball since the phone call dissipates almost instantly. The sound of Trini moving around the apartment settles her in a way she can’t explain; she’s no longer alone and it’s Trini that’s here.

When the bedroom door opens Kim forces herself to look right at Trini.

Emotions pass too quickly over Trini’s face for Kim to properly decipher them, but then Trini’s offering her a half-smile.

“You’re still here, huh,” Trini says more than asks.

“Yeah.” Kim bites the inside of her cheek. Should she have left?

“Aspirin?” Trini offers when Kim doesn’t say more.

Kim nods, and a minute later Trini’s back with a tall glass of water and much-needed aspirin.

The pills go down easily, though Kim’s careful to take the water in slowly and carefully.

“You okay?”

Kim looks up. She’s seen so many different expressions on Trini’s face. She remembers the anger and hurt from last night, but that’s nowhere to be seen. Instead, Trini’s face is calm and accepting. It makes Kim’s chest ache.

She feels terrible. She should go.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” Trini mumbles with drooping eyes.

Kim’s guilt grows heavier. It’d been her fault Trini hadn’t gotten enough sleep.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” Trini yawns as she kicks off her shoes and flops down on the bed. “Where’s my pillow?”

“I, uh, sorry.” Kim blushes and passes back the wrinkled pillow, her stomach fluttering at the indecipherable look Trini sends her.

Trini accepts the pillow back without a word. After a moment she reaches out toward Kim.

Kim rolls toward her without thinking, settling comfortably against Trini’s shoulder.

“Um, you were… I just wanted some of the blanket.”

Kim’s face feels like it’s on fire. “Oh, right,” she mutters as she begins to pull away.

Trini’s arms settle around her before she can get far. “This is okay, too.”

Kim should really go.

“Yeah,” she says instead as she tugs the comforter around Trini. Best friends cuddle, she reminds herself as her head settles alongside Trini’s.

All her worries are gone again as she rests next to Trini, and Kim has to swallow down the words that tickle up her throat and threaten to break their peace.

She just needs to rest. Then things will be clear again.

“Sleep well,” she whispers as she studies the relaxed features of Trini’s already-sleeping face.