caught in a bad dream

                                                               i hear it calling down in my soul                                                                grippin' my bones it won't let go                                                                won't you wake me up?

indie original character for the cw’s supernatural est. 2012 by yours truly; stepha, mun 18+ multiverse, multiship semi-selective

                                                              caught in a bad dream                                                                        wake me up                                                               i wanna see the sun

She’d been struggling from the moment she knocked on his door. Bobby wasn’t blind, especially when it came to his kids (and Alison had earned that status about five minutes after they first met), and he’d taken one look at her and seen immediately that something terrible had happened.

The news of Caleb’s death was a blow, and he’d had to sit down on his desk while he processed it, but the fact remained that they didn’t know exactly what had happened. Until they could investigate a little further, there wasn’t much to be done. Alison, meanwhile, had lost her mentor, and he wasn’t sure how she was maintaining her composure. It was like she felt she had some sort of duty to stay stoic about it…

Apparently a gentle suggestion that she was allowed to mourn was all it took to knock that idea down, though. As she began to crumble, he stood up and came over, wrapping his arms round her gently. “Hey now, hey, it’s okay,” he said, his head leaning against hers. “I gotcha. Let it out. You’ve been real brave.”

Crying was not something Alison did around other people often. It wasn’t just the life she’d chosen, though, she was well aware that it was better to keep emotions hidden--especially around strangers. Emotions were volatile and exploitable. Being able to control them was important. She’d quickly understood why hunters were gruff. Regardless, they were still human.

And so was she.

The last time she’d been this close to death was her mother’s death. She’d not choice but to mourn in silence, by herself, while she helped to take care of her brother, while she’d tried to usher her father of his grief induced stupor. She’d had to be strong then.

It was exhausting. And she was tired enough. After driving all night to get to Bobby’s, her walls were cracking.

Or really, they’d already cracked before. She was just done holding them up. So she let them fall and leaned into him as he came to comfort her, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears. Not that that did anything to stop them. She hugged him back, hands fisting in the worn fabric of his shirt as she, unsurprisingly, did what he told her to do. She let it out and cried because wasn’t the whole point of learning how to hunt to be able to prevent things like this? Caleb was better than she was; he was wiser and had much more experience. If he could die...

She hugged Bobby a bit tighter as the thought occurred to her that if Caleb could die then so could he. So could everyone she cared about. It wasn’t the first time she’d had it, certainly not. But the weight of it felt realer than it had before. Than it had in years, really. And it was terrifying.

She wasn’t sure how long she let the security of his hold lull and calm her. She only ever really felt such comfort when she was younger and her father did the same thing. There was no one who could replace her dad, but Bobby was family to her too. She wasn’t sure when, but she’d really come to rely on