#edy writes

*sentence about Obi-Wan drinking black caf*

someone: “but Obi-Wan prefers tea!! he’s addicted to it!!!”

that’s popular fanon.

*sentence where Obi-Wan is being assertive*

someone: “b-but Obi-Wan can’t take care of himself! he’s my precious little meow meow and needs someone to take care of him!”

he’s a grown-ass man who raised a whole child.

*sentence about Cody being clueless to social cues and self-care*

someone: “but Cody is supposed to be doting and taking care of Obi-Wan! he’s supposed to know more about life and emotions than a thirty-five year old man who raised a child!!”

like if he hadn’t gotten purrgiled, i have a feeling he’d end up a general or something by A New Hope

enter Luke Skywalker & he’s like “so who’s General Bridger?” and suddenly this scrawny teenager bursts in with a murderous droid hot on his heels trying to zap his ankles.

they watch him for a moment. Ezra jumps on top of the holotable and starts kicking Chopper in the head, calling him a “Stupid bucket of bolts,” et cetera, et cetera.

Luke looks at Leia, gauging her reaction. she glances at Luke, presses her lips together, sighs, and nods. “He’s… one of our best,” she admits.

Obi-Wan: Force, it’s awful in here.

Cody, not missing a beat: That’s not what you were saying last night, sir.

(VERY loud, sudden silence)

“No, unlike the unfortunate worm, the team of archaeologists excavating in this thirst-sucking hell hole all willingly chose to be air fried by God’s golden ballsack.”

@codywanweek​

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy

Rating: General Audiences 

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply 

Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex Characters: CC-2224 | Cody, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex, Clone Trooper Waxer (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Boil (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Wooley (Star Wars), Omega (Star Wars: The Bad Batch), CT-0292 | Vaughn, CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo 

Additional Tags: CodyWan Week 2025, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Archaeology, Linguistics, POV CC-2224 | Cody, POV Third Person, idk how to tag modern aus, got way more into this than i thought i would, i almost went to school for archaeology but that was overruled by the overwhelming need for attention (musical theatre), Let Cody Say Fuck, Getting Back Together, this takes place in a desert, so i suppose you could say, desert husbands, Anakin Skywalker Hates Sand, yes that is relevant unfortunately, theyre in a desert. i had to make that joke, implied anidala, Bad Jokes, both from cody and obi-wan, Lack of Communication, in the past

Summary:

"The heat of the desert was unbearable. It was a dry, blistering heat that seeped into your bones and seared across your skin until it was fried and cracking like a sundried worm lying on pavement after a storm. Except the consequences of this heat weren’t due to the need to escape drowning in the earth. No, unlike the unfortunate worm, the team of archaeologists excavating in this thirst-sucking hell hole all willingly chose to be air fried by God’s golden ballsack."