#edited out

I'm moving to THE fucking city in a few months and I'm quaking am I going to make it as a concept artist/curator/art historian whatever tf?

The leslie lohman has the vibe i want for internships and hunter grad school has Connections (and what looks like a fire LGBTQA org!!!)

I'm killing it here in VA. But if i stay in this blonde cis hellhole I'll melt.

(Seriously me and all my college friends were EXTRA and alive, but the becky-ness of it all brought back the lavender scare. I was too Out and fruity for that town. Too trans and gender noncompliant. Its boring here and i can barely breathe without the kyles and karens spiralling)

Also, what if i don't get a tight group of queer friends? i would have to move to siberia and start life over, i could NEVER survive gay and alone in NY...i for SURE can't fuck with being gay and isolated (gaysolated) here

Finally, my schizo is an extra curse and i think the stress of moving the ny will kill me, if being in a fishbowl at my parents house here doesn't first

Yikes, i have to get used to the energy of nyc compared to VA or even dc. One fear.

not really hungry but have listened to hallelujah chorus about thirty times so i'm not asleep but really tired.

might also have applied for a part time course in philosophy of aesthetics come spring. and kinda qut an assignment at a job.