Robins voice wavered, the way it always did when she was on the verge of breaking into her incoherent rambles. “He—at the party last night. Me and Steve caught them, in the kitchen and, it was a split second but still—I’m sorry y/n, I had to tell you. And—“

The name Augustine blurring along with the small details that Robin pushed out. The same name that was introduced to you when a new girl moved into town. Someone who quickly made her spot in Hellfire’s club when she arrived.

You could only mumble a small okay to your friend, quickly thanking her before ending the call that had destroyed your whole being.

The silence that followed was deafening. You couldn’t tell if Robin’s retelling of Eddie’s infidelity was worse than the emptiness that greeted you as you stared into the darkness of your room.

You glanced at your bed, the sight of the white cardigan that Eddie bought you months prior, when Hawkins was still suffering from the harsh winter. Everything hit once you numbly laid down and pulled the soft material against your chest.

The smell of Eddie’s cologne and the smoke that marked his scent breaks the dam, your sobbing cutting through the silence of the room.

He tugs the sleeve of your cardigan up your arm, other hand brushing against your skin, drawing lazily with his fingertips. You stare down at the textbook, trying to ignore the light kisses that followed where his fingers had marked.

“You’re distracting me.” You mumble, giving in to glance at the doe like eyes already boring their way into you. Regretting it immediately when his lips push into a teasing smile.

“So my plan is working.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close, between his legs and against his chest. “I thought I would have to throw that textbook out the window.”

“I would have grabbed another one..” You giggle when he nudge your cheeks with his nose, his huff tickling against your chin. “And smacked you with it.”

“Ohhh so we playing dirty now?” He gasp, tugging on a piece of hair. “I’m up for the challenge.”

“Oh shut it.” His hands are pushed off your waist and you reach forward for the textbook he managed to kick away with his foot. “You realize we both should be studying for Ms .O’donells final.”

“Do we have to?” He groans, hiding his face against your shoulder. Eddie tugs on a loose thread on your cardigan, wrapping it around his finger as he enjoys the sound of your voice.

“Yes we do! We made a promise that you would graduate this year, and begin looking into colleges with me.” You poke his head.

“Who will accept someone who had to repeat senior year two times?“ he sighs, allowing you to turn around in his arms and face him.

“Come on, my grades aren’t that great either Eds. My GPA isn’t exactly that of a honor student.”

“Then why are we even stressing over it?” He watches you. “You been wearing yourself thin over this stuff. I mean, seriously. You told me that you didn’t care about any of that college crap before.”

You shrug, looking down at your sleeves as his voice softens. “Your parents again?”

That tugging sensation that accompanied the thoughts of your parents and their plans they placed on you, coming back. Eddie cups your cheek as he notes this. The gesture encouraging so you nod.

“They keep bringing up these fancy universities that I already know I won’t get into.” You sigh and lean against his chest. “I don’t even think I want to get into them.”

“Then what do you want?” He asks softly. “You, not your parents.”

“I don’t know.” You sniff and bask into the warm embrace of his arms wrapping around your body. “I just want to be good enough for them .Not be seen as second place to my sister. For them to not look at me as the usual disappointment they think I am.”

Eddie arms tighten around you and he scoffs next to your ear. “How many times do I tell you that you are not a disappointment? And to stop comparing yourself to your sister.” He smooths his hand down your side.

“It’s hard when it’s all they do.” You groan into his chest. “She’s their favorite. And I’m..just there. It’s been like that my whole freaking life. Always second, never good enough, never the favorite—“

“Hey.” He makes you look at him. “I know this probably doesn’t sound as comforting, considering my reputation, but-“ he pinches your cheek. “You’re my favorite. Always will be my favorite girl.”

You stare up in awe and blush. He continues. “Your parents are clearly idiots and don’t see what a gem you are. Alright? I don’t want you letting their comments get to your head.”

You nod allowing him to bring you in a hug again, the sweet compliments and praises he washes over for the rest of the night push away all those insecurities that’s been built through out the years.

His whispers against your ear and kisses along your skin warming you up more than the cardigan wrapped around you.

“Please.” Eddie begs. His foot blocks your attempt to shut the front door in his face, ringed fingers gripping onto the edge of the door frame as he lets out a shaky breath.

“It was just a kiss.”

“Just a kiss? Wow.” You hiss, trying to push the door closed again. “You’re fucking unbelievable.”

“It was a fucking mistake!” He scans your face, trying to catch anything that wasn’t pure hatred that you threw at him. “I-i wasn’t thinking clearly, I was drunk.”

“Oh. Because that makes things any better.” You say bitterly, looking down at his sneaker. “Move your fucking foot.”

“Jesus. Please just listen to me, we can talk about this.” The panic in his voice and eyes was evident. “I was a fucking idiot ,a-and I never meant to hurt you and- and —“

“But you did. You did hurt me, Eddie.”

It was hard to keep your voice steady, the strong expression you had kept up for most of the confrontation was beginning to falter. Your bottom lip began to shake as a few tears escaped. Eddie expression drops.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” You sniff. Eddie remains silent and you scoff. “Or were you going to act like nothing happened? Like you didn’t do exactly what I was afraid of the moment you brought her into the club.“

You push the door open and push him back, glaring at him through the tears. “You lied. You gave me all this bullshit that I was your favorite girl, and that I was the one for you. All these fucking lies and I believed you. I believed every stupid lie you fed me.”

“They weren’t lies, I was never lying!” He shouts back. “I meant everything I said, I still do. You are the one for me y/n—“

“Then why did you kiss her?” You look between his eyes. “Tell me then. If any of it was true, why. did. you. kiss. her.”

Eddie opens his mouth but clamps it shut again, grimacing as he finds himself unable to answer.

“I’m sorry” He whispers, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry baby. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He pressed his face against his balled up fist in a pained expression. “I’m so fucking sorry. Let me fix this. Ill do anything. I’ll fix this, I’ll fix us. Please.”

“You can’t.” You shake your head wiping away your tears in anger. “There’s nothing to fix. There’s no us anymore, Eddie.” His name comes out shaky as you cry. “Okay?I’m done.”

Eddie own expressions breaks as he lets out a sob of his own, your words beginning to sink in. “Don’t. Please don’t do this. I can’t lose you.”

His tears only pushed at your anger, he wasn’t the one that was hurting from this. You weren’t the one that cheated, the one to break many promises. You weren’t the one that broke a trust that took so long to build, acted on urges that stabbed at the insecurities that were buried with kisses and declarations of love.

All those kisses left on your skin now leaving a burning reminder, a ghost of a tattoo, of the heart ache that you were sure wasn’t going to go away. No matter how many years passed, it will always linger. Forever haunting you as you try to forget what you and Eddie had.

Because that’s all you were left with now, memories and heartbreak. There was no longer kisses that would make things better, stopping the bleeding that came from deep scars, not when the boy behind them was now the sole reason for why you were breaking apart right now.

That didn’t mean you didn’t want it though. A kiss that would make everything better, but you could only stare at Eddie continued to cry in front of you. His eyes pleading and begging, hands shaking as he tries make eye contact.

You swallow down that lump in your throat and grip onto the door handle tighter. “It’s over Eddie.”

He tries to speak but you cut him off before he could continue to make excuses.

“You need to fucking leave. Now.” You step back into your home, ripping your eyes away from his torn expression. “I don’t want to see you again.”

“Y/N, no please—“

The door slams shut.

-

It felt like the whole floor was ripped from under him. A dark hole swallowing him whole ever since you closed the door in his face that night. The unanswered calls and your avoidance only sinking him deeper into the hole he made for himself.

It was a mistake. That night at the party, he was so out of it and didn’t know what he was doing. He wasn’t even suppose to be at the party but a quick call from Gareth, mentioning that a few students wanted to buy drugs and he was the only known dealer in town.

He should have denied, but the stress of graduation being around the corner and his grade in Ms. O’donells final still being unknown got to him.

Eddie wouldn’t have been surprised if he failed again, that graduation stage being something he simply wasn’t meant to walk on. But the only thing that made him care about that idea and the disappointment that would have followed if he didn’t, was you.

He wanted to graduate for you, to make you not be disappointed that you’ll have to wait and stay another year in Hawkins just because Eddie couldn’t stop being an immature fuck up.

That’s all he was. But you still saw through that and stuck with him. You knew him in a way that no one else did, or will ever. And what did he do?

He did what he was best at.

He fucked up. He let his worries and stress of being good enough get to him, took that excuse to drink and he royally, incredibly fucked up. He ruined the one good thing in his life and he didn’t know how to deal.

Graduation went by fast, he did end up graduating surprisingly which only made him feel worse, and he hasn’t heard from you. Summer begin and he didn’t know what to do anymore.

He thought maybe if he tried to get glances of you throughout town, driving by your home on random night, he could get the courage to try to speak to you again. But when he did, he was met with a sight that broke him.

It was known you were friends with Robin, so it shouldn’t be too surprising that you would begin hanging out with the blonde. But Steve Harrington? The sight of you two together, hanging out at the local diner was all it took for his hope to be demolished.

The fact that you both looked great together. The preppy and rich boy look that Harrington carried around went perfectly well with your cute sweaters and soft demeanor. Not contradicting like it did with his band tees and metal look.

Even if you always did remind him that you loved it, saying how happy you were with him.

He began torturing himself by walking down familiar streets, Hawkins plaza being a common spot for you both to hang out on slow weekends. His eyes staring down at the cobblestones that made up the side walk, slowly making his way to the hide out. Maybe a few beers will help.

He came to a stop when he nearly ran into a street lamp, groaning as he rubbed his shoulder before noticing a yellow sticker that was loosing its color against the metal pole.

“—and 86’ will be our year baby!” Eddie drunken speech has you giggling, gripping onto the street lamp and spinning around it. The light gives a clear view of the white cardigan that was snug on your figure,his leather jacket thrown over your shoulders as extra protection of the cold that was early February.

Both of the outwear clashing against each other, different in the aesthetics but he loved it. He loved everything about you, especially the way some strands of hair fell over your face as your spinning came to a stop.

Drunken amused expression gazing up at him, standing beneath the street light that wasn’t anything compared to how bright your smile was.

He upped his dramatics, wanting to keep your eyes on him.

“Hawkins will be no longer!” He shakes his head, hair falling out of the lazy ponytail that was held up by your scrunchie. “Me and My royal highness will be leaving behind this shithole and onto a kingdom she deserves!”

“And where exactly will this kingdom be at?” You ask, hugging the street lamp and looking at Eddie with wide puppy eyes. The hopeful expression you throw at him beats the feeling the alcohol in his system was giving him.

He places a hand above yours on the metal pole, on top of a bright yellow smiley face sticker, leaning in and whispering. “You tell me where. Name a place and I’ll take you there in a heartbeat. ”

Your eyes soften as his voice dips into a deeper genuine tone, no longer the dramatics that was Eddie’s overall personality. A tone that was only ever shared between you both.

You ponder then shrug.

“Anywhere.” You answer, smiling and reaching for his hand. “I don’t care where, as long as you’re by my side.”

His heart soars at that and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to hold in that giddiness that only you could give him, he bends down and grabs your waist, throwing you over his shoulder. Your shouts and complains echoing across the empty street.

“Anywhere it is!” He shouts over your laughter. “Once you graduate—“

“We, idiot!”

“ I’m going to take you far far away from here. Away from these peasants. But first..” he hiccups and realizes how empty the street actually was. “We need to find my van. Where the hell are we?”

“I thought you said it was parked this way, Eds!”

“Hey!” A voice calls out, snapping him out of the memory that was making the emptiness in his heart more prominent. He turns to see a car roll up and recognizes the face. “Well, hi stranger.”

Augustine smiles up at him, arm prepped on top of the rolled down window. How the hell did he let that smile reel him that night? It didn’t have the soft edges that yours did, it didn’t bring any type of feeling to him what’s so ever.

“Why the hell are you walking this late at night?” She asks after he only responds with a tense smile, looking down the street.

“Van broke down.” He says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

It was a lie. He couldn’t handle the smell of your perfume that lingered, the trinkets you put on the dashboard, or your ghost in the passenger seat. The mixtape he made for the both of you to listen to was still in the cars stereo.

“Well shit. That sucks.” She laughs and bites her bottom lip. Her eyes hopeful. The look strikes him that she must have remembered that drunken night, a full memory for her while his was hazy. Bits and pieces he hated thinking about.

She takes in the defeated stance and sits up straighter, hoping her encouraging smile can lift him up.

“Cmon Eddie, get in. Let’s go for a drive.”

He stares back at her for a moment, ready to dismiss and continue his way to the hideout. But then he thought of you and Steve, the match made in heaven, and he finds himself resigning. Hoping this could fill the hole in his heart.

-

You didn’t think the pain could be any worse than it was, but apparently you were once again wrong. Summer went by agonizing slow. The full time job you got at Scoops Ahoy was the worst decision you could make because it meant having to endure seeing Eddie and Augustine together.

The first time it happened, they had walked into scoop ahoy right a few minutes shy of it closing. Augustine’s loud laughter forcing you to stand up straight, stomach churning when Eddie made eye contact with you.

He seemed as surprise as you were, it was the middle of July and it’s the first time you both ran into each other since graduation.

They looked..perfect together. Augustine always had that rocker vibe to her, something her and Eddie bonded over when she first sat at the lunch table. Their taste in music were the same, they dressed the same. They looked perfect together.

Augustine had a fierce look in her eyes (that would make anyone tense up if she glared at them, something you were jealous of) as she glanced between you two, expression dropping for a split second.

A look of sympathy, or even pity, crossing her expression as she threw you an awkward smile, before she began asking for one cone. Eddie remained silent, never tearing his eyes off you as you replied with your customer service voice, shakily taking his money.

You gave her the ice cream cone and he finally attempted to say something, but before he could fully say your name— Steve came bursting through from the employee room and glared daggers at him.

“Sorry, we’re about to close so you can’t eat in here.” He practically hisses, grabbing you by the shoulders, squeezing them in comfort and lightly pushing you towards the break room. “Can you take the trash out for me?”

You wasted no time to take your exit, leaving Eddie and Steve to their weird stare down. Maybe you cried in the bathroom instead of taking out the trash, but Steve made no comment on it. Driving you home and comforting you the way he has been the entire heartbreak.

July slowly rolled into August, then August transitioned into September. It went by like a breeze for Eddie, his days full of drug deals and doing whatever he could to forget about the missing piece in him.

He thought he could pull himself out of that hole if he simply kept himself distracted the whole summer. But it didn’t do jack shit, because he found himself standing in your front porch, with a hope that he could change this ending that he caused.

The sound of loud laughter, music and multiple people talking over each other can be heard from his spot.

Dustin had let it slipped that Robin was throwing a surprise party for you the day before, somehow the kid still wanted to be around Eddie despite the rest of hellfire not being able to look him in the eye yet. He asked what for, but Dustin went quiet and continued to focus on the campaign they were planning.

He knocks on the door and steps back a bit, willing his body to stay. Would you tell him to fuck off the moment you saw him? Jesus, that was the only way this could go but he had to try.

The door swings open and that familiar whiff of your perfume hits him. If he hadn’t cried his eyes dry the entire summer, he may have teared up at the comforting smell. Your hair was shorter, he notes. He always loved the way it framed your face when it was short. It’s been so long since—

“Eddie?” Your smile drops the second your eyes landed on him. His heart twists at that.

“Hey..” he licks his lips and clears his throat, glancing past your shoulder then at you. “I..uh can..can we talk?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You continue to stare at him with no expression, seeming ready to shut the door again but he holds his hand out.

“I know. I know you told me you didn’t want to speak to me, or even see me again but.” He lets out a bitter laugh. “Shit y/n. You don’t understand how hard this has been for me—“

“For you.” You deadpan. “Yeah I really can’t imagine how this could hard for you.”

He frowns and shakes his head. “You haven’t spoken a damn word to me since May. You ignored my calls, had your mom tell me to basically fuck off whenever I came by, you didn’t let me at least try-“

“No.” You step out and slam the door shut behind you. “Eddie. You are not going to put this on me. This is your fault. I’m not the one that cheated !”

“I know! You don’t think I fucking know that?” He rubs his face and let’s out a strangled cry. “Fuck. I’ve been beating myself over it since it happened. It eats me alive. Day and night. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done and I wasn’t thinking clearly that night and I know that doesn’t excuse what I did, but I need you to understand that if I could change what I did, I would do it in a heartbeat. Because losing you—“

He removes his hands from his face and looks at you, your own expression beginning to break. “God, losing you—it’s breaking me. Tearing me apart.”

“Good.” You hoarsely state, crossing your arms and staring down at the ground. “You deserve it, Eddie. You deserve to feel this way.”

Eddie swallows hard and watches you. “Can you ever give me a second chance?”

You begin to shake your head and his heart breaks, his desperation taking over. “Please, why can’t you at least let me try to fix things?”

“Because there’s no coming back from what you did, Eddie. I don’t give two shits about your apologies okay? I’ve moved on.”

“What?” He bitterly laughs, “to fucking Steve the hair Harrington? That preppy asshole we use to hate? “ Your expression twist in confusion and he continues, voice rough dripping with venom. “I saw you all around town with him, all summer. Christ y/n, I never thought-“

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. A choke laugh escaping as you stared at Eddie in bewilderment. “Are you serious right now? You want to give me shit when you been out and about with the same girl you cheated on me with!”

He stammers as you poked his chest roughly. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to come here, begging for forgiveness when you been fucking her all summer.”

“It meant nothing.” He admits, gripping onto your wrist. A few tears rolled down your cheek as you try to pull away. “She doesn’t mean anything to me. I only did it so I could try to forget about you. All those nights..I only thought about you, you wouldn’t leave my mind. She’s not you.”

“I dreamt of you all summer, you know?” He sniffs. “God, I couldn’t even sleep in my room for weeks because you left some of your stuff there. Had to sleep in the couch and Wayne was pissed. Shit, the old man wouldn’t stop asking about you. Kept reminding what a dumbass I was, I thought he missed you more than I did—“

A broken laugh is all he gets from you and he continues. “But no. I missed you like crazy, and..and I mean it when I said I would do anything. Even for you to at least..talk to me? Or to look at me. I can’t handle you not being in my life anymore. And I don’t care how long it takes to build the trust again.”

“I’ll keep trying. Because that’s all I need, I need you to let me at least try. Even if it’s just for us to be friends again.”

“Friends?” You frown.

“Yes. Jesus, you were my best friend. And I miss having you around, I miss making you laugh, I miss hearing you voice pestering me every damn day. I miss everything. I miss us. And I’ll sell my damn soul to be able to get it back.. Shit, I’ll sell my guitar!”

You cry and go weak in his grip, letting for your chest to shake as you let out the tears that never seemed to run out. “God. You fucking idiot. I should fucking hate you Eddie Munson.”

He silently watches you and you get the courage to look up at him. “But I just..can’t. I guess I can never fully hate you.”

“y/n..” he whispers and you close your eyes, a few tears squeezing out. The apologies didn’t do much to soothe the ache in your heart, but you couldn’t deny you had missed him too. The summer was horrible without the usual late night rides you both would go on.

Something crashing in your room brings you out the small moment, Robins rambled apologies bursting the bubble.

“Eddie.” You start, looking back at your home and you frown, the party you seem to have forgotten coming back in mind. You get lost in thought then utter. “There’s no way we can fix things now. We just can’t.”

“Come on. ” His grip tightens. “There has to be, right? It may take a while and it’ll be fucking hard, I know I destroyed a lot but we can take it slow and, and..“

The look you threw him has him trailing off, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to understand why you looked so..resigned. There’s a few seconds before you finally find your voice.

“I’m leaving Hawkins.”

Eddie feels as if he was drenched in cold water. He freezes, processing your words and can only stare blankly as you continue.

“I got accepted into a university.” You chuckle dryly. “Surprisingly.. but uh yeah. Managed to snatch a scholarship and everything. Go me.”

The surprise party suddenly makes sense—Dustin’s avoidance of his question.

“But..you hate the idea of college.” His mouth feels dry, stuffed with imaginary cotton that makes it difficult to even speak. “You told me that you were planning to tell your parents about our plan—how we..“

We were going to leave together. He wanted to say but the sharp look you gave him made it die on his tongue.

“Yeah well things change, apparently” You glance at him then down at the sleeve of your sweater. “Besides. It may not be the way I wanted to leave but..I don’t have anything that makes me want to stay.”

You have me. He trembles, everything finally setting in. It wasn’t fair for him to say that though, because the reality was— he had you but he ruined it. He thought he lost you before, but this was a whole new level of pain he wasn’t sure he could live with.

He thinks of the fact that it’s the first week of September and takes a deep breath. “When?”

“Tomorrow.”

Fuck.

“Oh.”

He has a distant look in his eyes and you stay silent. You had hoped you wouldn’t have to say goodbye, didn’t think he deserved one after everything. The kicked puppy look being another reason why you were ready to simply leave and not look back.

“Guess I’ll just keep missing you then.” He says finally, voice wavering as he silently cries. Tears streaming down his face as he tries to force down the complete heartbreak.

“And I’ll keep waiting.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to look at him anymore. “Don’t. This is why I didn’t want to do this.”

“I’ll wait. You may not come back, but I’ll wait.”

“Stop, Eddie. Don’t do that to me or yourself—“

“I love you. You know I love you, and you know I’m never going to feel this way for someone else so I’ll wait—.”

“I knew you. I knew you, Eddie.” you look back at him and sigh. “Things are different now. We both know that.”

The door opens suddenly and Robin drunken grin transforms into shock, and she rambles. “Oh shit—uh, I’ll..uh, sorry! Jonathan was going to take pictures but—I’ll leave you guys alone or actually, no? Y/N, do you need..help?”

You shake your head and glance at the blonde. “No it’s fine, I was heading back inside right now.”

She clamps her mouth shut and nods, glancing at Eddie then disappearing behind the door. He’s unable to stop crying even you look back at him and glance back down. Unable to make eye contact.

“I should go.”

None of you move at first, the ghost of a goodbye hovering over you both. The inevitable end that you both desperately wished was different, finally making itself known.

You welcome it first, giving him one last smile and softly saying.

“Goodbye Eddie.”

He’s forced to watch you hesitate for a split second before turning around and pushing yourself into the home. Closing the door in his face for the second time.

He stares at the door for a few agonizing seconds before breaking down in your door steps, realizing that you telling him to simply fuck off would have been better than this.

You closed the door and press your forward against the wooden panels, trying to ignore the bleeding that seeped through reopened wounds.

The scars lingering, small what ifs already plotting their place into the back of your mind as you force yourself away from the door, away from Eddie—and back to the party.

—

December 1988

“Eddie! I need you out in the front?” The raspy voice of his insufferable boss, Ted, brings Eddie to roll out from underneath the car he was working on. He lets out a few curses as he sits up, setting down the tools and shouts back.

“I’m busy here, Ted. You deal with it. Didn’t you want me to fix this car before tomorrow morning?”

“I have an important call.” Complete bullshit. “ I have a customer that needs help with her car so get your ass out there.” The older male yells before he makes his way into his small office. He throws his head back and sighs. Of course.

Wiping some grease off his hands, he makes his way out from the back of the shop. He focuses on a certain spot on his wrist as he chirps out, “Fear not, Eddie’s here to fix whatever-“

He stops when he looks up, ready to greet the customer who was facing the other way with his easygoing smile when he’s hit with the sight of a white cardigan. Your head twirling around and his breath catches in his throat, a pathetic sound coming out as a result of it.

Eyes equally as wide, you take in Eddie’s appearance. The dirty blue jump suit hanged off his waist. Grease was not only staining his clothes, but his hands and arms. His hair was still long, something that you couldn’t help but admire, and it was pulled into a half bun.

“Eddie?”

“Y/N?”

You both gawk at each other before you finally tore your eyes away and laugh awkwardly. “Wow. I was kinda hoping I had more time before bumping into you.”

“You’re back.” He states once the shock begins to fade, taking in your appearance. The cardigan is what really floored him. You still had it all this time? He often stayed up at night thinking about whether you kept some of his belongs the same way he did.

One of your forgotten things— a sweater never left it’s place from his closet, never washed in fear that it wouldn’t smell like you again. He often was to afraid to touch it or take it out, afraid he cigarette stained fingers would ruin it.

Eddie continued to stare at you and you smile sheepishly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah. I’m back.” You chew your bottom lip and shrug. “Hawkins bad luck proves itself again though, my car died right when I got here. Luckily i noticed that there was something new in town..”

You glance around the shop and hug yourself. Eddie stun silence is finally broken as the mention of your car.

“Right. Your car.” He clears his throat. “Uh I’ll check that out for you. Probably the battery or something—“

“Most likely. It’s a piece of junk.” You scoff looking back at your car and kicking one of the wheels. Eddie glances at it and shrugs.

“Nothing compared to mine though.” He whistles, feeling himself began to ease into the light atmosphere. His nerves still had hands trembling.

You snort and follow him to your car, popping the hood open for him and leaning against the car as he begins to check it out. You allow yourself to look down the street, breathing in the cold air and the sight of Hawkins.

Eddie checks the battery. “Jesus how old is this thing?”

“I don’t know.” You raise an eyebrow when Eddie shoots you a look. “What! I’ve never been a car person, you know this.”

“Well I can get you a new battery, the problem is..” he sighs and looks at you. “I’ll have to order one. With how old this piece of shit is—“

“Hey!”

“And it’ll probably take a week.” He finishes, throwing the rag over his shoulder and closing the hood. You groan and slump against the vehicle.

“Great. First day here and I can’t even make it all the way to my house.”

“I can drive you.” He quickly says. “My shift ended 30 minutes, that dickhead just loves having me around so much.”

He rolls his eyes and you can’t stop your own smile from growing. A small pang of hope etching into his chest at the sight. He forgot how much it warmed him up inside. The cold breeze of December had no match against it.

You think for a moment then look back at your car. “You better still have that ugly van because I need space for my suitcases.”

Eddie gasps in offense and holds his heart. “Ugly? You use to say you loved my van?”

“Oops. Secrets out.” You grin before unlocking your trunk and pushing a bag into his arms.

~

“I honestly thought my ears were playing tricks on me when I heard him yell your name.” You muse, watching the trees become a blur out the window. “Because Eddie? A mechanic?”

“Wayne knew the guy.” Eddie explains, trying not to focus too much on the fact that his passenger seat was finally filled again. “Wouldn’t quit until I agreed to work there. It was easy to learn though.”

“Huh.” You shake your head and laughs. “Wasn’t expecting that at all.”

“What? You thought I would be selling drugs my whole life? Besides, no other place wanted to hire me.”

“No.” You frown, sitting up. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean…I guess I expected you to be gone.”

“Gone?” He throws you a questioning look.

“Yeah like..eventually you would have left Hawkins. Maybe decide that corroded coffin would play somewhere else that wasn’t the hide out.”

Eddie goes quiet at that and you get the courage to look at him. His face was soft, sadness swimming in his eyes. “I told you I would wait.”

You’re struck with that conversation that occurred two years ago. Two years since you forced yourself to leave and attempted to forget your first love, and your first heartbreak. A lump grows in your throat and you stare at the road.

“I meant what I said.” He says sadly. “You may have thought I was just saying that. That it was lies but. I waited. Even if I wanted you to leave and be happy, I still wanted to wait. Just in case.”

“In case I came back.” You mumble. “And I did.“

He slows down to a stop in front of your home and you stare at the front door, exhaling. “You know..I didn’t think I would ever miss it. Hawkins. But I did, couldn’t stop even if I was in some expensive school in New York.”

“Are you on winter break?” He asks cautiously, the mention of college making him realize how temporarily this is. “When are you going back?”

You go quiet. He cuts the engine and waits, watching you as you look at him with a half smile.

“I’m not. I dropped out.”

“What?”

“You were right Eds.” Eds. Fuck he missed that. “College isn’t for me, I only did it for my parents and I realized in the beginning of my second year that I couldn’t stand following whatever plan they set out for me.”

“But you wanted to leave Hawkins no matter what—“

“You did too.” You cut in, getting defensive. “You also wanted to leave once, but still stayed. Even when I told you to not do that to yourself. So we’re both idiots who never really left their hometown huh?”

He swallows, not really knowing what to say at first.

“I’m taking it that you dad had an aneurysm.” He half jokes but it hits. You laugh, music to his ears and lean back against the seat.

“Oh yeah. That phone call was not pleasant. I’m sure a lecture is waiting for me.” Your smile is easy as you roll your head to look at him. “I can hear it now. Hear them saying that I proved them once again that I was the family disappointment and my sister would never do such a thing—“

“You’re not a disappointment y/n.” Eddie stops you and your voice gets caught in your throat, struggling to not let the tears brim from the look he throws at you.

All those memories of the same comforting words, the same adoration in his eyes whenever he held you and whispered the same words in your bedroom. It came rushing back and you had to refrain yourself from asking him to kiss things better.

Sure, maybe you healed from the initial heartbreak. But that didn’t mean it didn’t leave a scar, and you were afraid you might break if you continued to be in his presence, and ask him to kiss that scar. To trace it with lazy drawings of stars and sweet whispers.

“I should go.”

Eddie looks away, the same words from two years ago haunting him again, and nods, gripping onto the steering. He lets go to follow you to exit the van, grabbing some of your suitcases and helping to carry it to your porch.

He readies himself for the goodbye you will throw his way, confirmation that this small interacting will be all he will get.

But he didn’t want another goodbye. Not again on the same porch. He promised himself that he would wait, he did and you were back. It had to mean something. He told you that he would try. And he will.

“We still do play at the hide out.” You set down the last bag inside your home, keeping the door open with your foot and tilt your head at this. “Corroded coffin. You were right, never left that stupid bar.”

He chuckles and twirls one of the rings around his finger nervously. “Every Tuesday. Guess that’s something else that didn’t change in Hawkins.”

You blink and he rushes out before he loses the courage. “You should come see us. Tomorrow. We could use the usual critiques, you always were the one who could tell us how to be better and all.”

You hum, “Yeah. Gareth always was off with those drums.” You cough, and shrug. “I’ll see. Maybe I’ll stop by.”

Eddie shoulders deflates and nods, “Okay. Yeah, cool. If you don’t, that’s fine!” He begins stepping down the porch steps. “I’ll give you a call once your cars all ready. You know what, I can even drive it here myself. So uh yeah…”

The bye was ready on his lips, his face grimacing at the thought of going back to that emptiness of his van but you speak up. Flinching as though your mouth spoke before you thought clearly.

“I’ll be ready at 8.”

“..What?”

“Tomorrow.” You step into your home and glance back at him, your face now unreadable. “Your gigs always start at 9 right? Pick me up at 8.”

“Pick you..pick you up..right! Yeah, I’ll pick you up at 8.” He stammers, pulling a strand in front of his face as you raise an eyebrow. “That sounds like a plan. Then I’ll see you tomorrow?”

His voice is hopeful and you could only smile, having missed that boyish demeanor on him. “Yes eddie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You close the door and sigh, leaning back against it. Hoping that you were making the right decision, hoping he was ready to make up on his promise of doing anything.

Eddie stared at the door, but instead of guilt or heartbreak that usually followed, he was met with hope. Something that grew as he walked back to his van, a bump in his step.

Hell, the second time you sent him something he didn’t even respond at all. You couldn’t help but feel a sting in your heart every single time. 

I respond when he sends me pictures of new rings he bought or a new fucking patch he added to his vest. He sends me paragraphs about his D & D campaigns. I read them all before telling him how proud I am of it and how amazing I think his is. I stop everything I’m doing when he calls to tell me he learned a new song on his guitar and wants me to hear it. 

Why is he responding this way to me? Does he not like the cute nightie I bought with him in mind? Maybe the lingerie I spent weeks saving for didn’t turn him on like I thought it would. What if he thinks I look disgusting and just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings?!

You know what, Eddie. If you don’t like the lingerie or the way I look in them you should just say so. 

30 minutes went by with no reply even though you know he read it. You throw your phone to the side and stand up to look at yourself in your full-length mirror. The black bralette accentuated your breasts just right and the way your hair flowed over your shoulders commanded any eyes that were lucky enough to view you like this to focus on the lace hugging your body. The waistband of the matching panties gave your curves that extra pop that would make any man grovel at your feet if you asked. 

A sudden knock at your front door startled you. Grabbing the matching silky robe to cover your physique, you went to answer it. 

“Eddie. What are you—”

His hands reach for you, pulling your waist to his as he cuts you off with a passionate kiss. Your arms wrap around his neck as he guides you backwards and kicks the door closed with his foot. 

Eddie’s hands cup your face after finally allowing you to take breath. 

“I love these little outfits that you get and it drives me wild to see you in them. I still can’t believe a goddess like you loves a dork like me.”

“It makes me feel bad, Eds. When you don’t respond or barely have a reaction.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry I made you feel like that. I swear I’m obsessed with how you look in these outfits. That second one you sent me last week with the see-through bra thing? I had to jerk off right then and there!”

“That’s why you didn’t respond.”, you giggle. 

Eddie’s fingers glide down the silky material wrapped around your body, gently opening it to take in the sight before him.