#eddes

Ok so… I think by now, the people who follow my fics/read my showerthoughts/haunt my deeply unhinged Tumblr can probably tell that I have poor impulse control.

Which is, unfortunately, true.

And THIS HERE is today's evidence—

Because I just really wanted to write a cute little MerMay thing, ok?? That's TRADITION, ya know? I saw THIS ART FROM @sneaky-eel, got inspired, and thought: short and sweet. Just a tiny little reblog scenelet because I love Eel's art and LOOK at that face. I can't say NO to that face.

SO, I was aiming for small. Like 200 words. Hell, maybe even 400 if I let myself indulge and do just a LITTLE bit of world building.

That was the plan.

Ya know—something normal. Something restrained.

Unfortunately, I am the one writing it.

So this UNIRONICALLY went from:

"Aww, that's so cute! What if Des was a mermaid with a P.O.E and Edward found him?" (◕‿◕✿)

To my brain—which is a deeply unserious organ—going:

"okay but what if Edward's ship hit him instead?" (⊙‿⊙✿)

And then, somehow:

"What if Edward's crew briefly considered cannibalism?" ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

Which is how this stopped being a tiny little reblog scenelet and turned into an actual one-shot.

Also, full disclosure—I… have not actually played AC4. I'm a little embarrassed about that since the modern gang IS there, but I'm still traumatized by the end of AC3 and honestly, anything post AC3 is just unforgivable Ubisoft fever dream fanfiction to me. Admittedly, AC4 is not the worst offender, but I just genuinely struggle to immerse myself in a world where Desmond just… isn't there.  

So please forgive the inconsistencies lol. I know Edward almost entirely through memes,  fanart, and whatever cursed knowledge leaks through my Tumblr dash, so lore/characterization of him and his crew are DODGY at best lol.

ANYWAYS—

This is inspired by @sneaky-eel. Eel, you unlock things in my brain that should, perhaps, remain locked. I am still living in fear for my other WIPs.

Harem it is!

So, for this idea, let’s set up the restaurant first.

Let’s say that, after the Solar Flare, Desmond is in the Gray with Clay who got there because a digital copy of him was sorta encoded into Desmond (“What were you planning to do? Slowly hijack my body?” “I was thinking of transferring my copy into your sperm and getting reborn as your child.” “That’s… that sounds weird?” “Really? Ancient aliens created mankind, you’re the chosen one and messiah and martyr all in one by said ancient aliens, we have technology that can read genetic memories in our DNA so we can relive our ancestors’ lives AND my plan is what makes you go ‘sounds weird’? Come on, Seventeen.” “I didn’t say it was the only weird thing I’ve ever heard!”)

So Desmond and Clay are getting along swimmingly then there’s a pop and Layla’s there. Clay just go “Ah, another dead person ‘rewarded’ by the Isus, come, join us.” and Layla’s just “???” because last she remembered, she gave up her life to save the world and Desmond just goes “Oh, a fellow martyr! Welcome, welcome!”

So they’re just chilling in the endless void called the Gray (and I Spy has been banned since the only thing they can actually ‘spy’ is each other and they got creative with their questions which includes “Is it someone who has the hots for his ancestors?” “Yes.” “That doesn’t help. Both me and Clay have hots for our ancestors!” “I blame our untreated daddy issues.” “Oh my god.”) until Minerva appeared and tells Desmond that she was able to screw with the Calculations before she died. She gives Desmond some kind of ball (that looks like a stone version of the Apple) and tells him that it contains the power to create a pocket dimension, very small, perhaps just a one-story, maybe two-story building, but it should be enough to connect it to the Calculations itself for a brief moment to stabilize it.

Minerva’s idea is that Desmond could use the pocket dimension to exist in the world, at any point in time, and interact with people (but only in that pocket dimension… “Like a portable Gray?” “……… Yes… I supposed you would be correct in that, Innkeeper.” “Did you… did you just literally translate my last name???”)

Minerva tells Desmond to think of a building that the pocket dimension can take the form in and her calling Clay ‘innkeeper’ reminded Desmond of how he wanted to own a restaurant. How, before he landed a job in Bad Weather, he actually helped out in the kitchen of a few diners, sometimes just washing the dishes, other times, cutting ingredients up when things get too busy, and sometimes, a kind cook/owner would teach him an easy dish or two that he can cook if things get super hectic. Then he remembers how the warmest memories he had of his childhood were helping his mother cook when she had the time to do such ‘mundane’ things.

So everyone is surprised when the pocket dimension looks like a restaurant. Layla was expecting him to create a bureau or something similar. Clay expected him to recreate Bad Weather. Minerva just stares at him as she says, “So this is your choice. Very well.”

They checked the restaurant and there was a second floor with bedrooms (with separate bathrooms) that seemed to already been ‘furnished’ to their liking… even Minerva’s. It’s kinda creepy because Layla’s room looks like a fusion of her childhood bedroom and her apartment’s bedroom. Clay guessed that the pocket dimension heard Desmond’s idea of ‘everyone should have their own rooms’ and used their memories to create it.

Strangely enough… there are also a lot of locked rooms that they can’t open. Minerva guessed they are meant to house either ‘guests’ or future ‘employees’. The 2nd floor defies logic as it seemed to be bigger than the first floor but Minerva insists that it would look ‘normal’ on the outside. (“So what you’re saying is it’s bigger-” “No.” “What?” “No. We are not making that reference. Shush.” “Oh, come on!”)

Okay, so Minerva was taking a wild guess here because she didn’t test out the pocket dimension (“Why not?” “I died before I could.” “… yeah, okay, that sounds like a legit reason.”) but she believed that the pocket dimension took Desmond’s desires and rolled it all up into one thing which was this restaurant-in-the-first-floor/living-quarters-in-the-second-floor. This meant that they were meant to ‘get’ more people.

Clay and Desmond turned to stare at each other because, yeah, they already have an idea of who some of those people are.

When they check the restaurant, Desmond is super excited because the pantry is fully stocked with sooooo many things that he wanted to ‘play with’ and Minerva noticed that the perishables were placed in some kind of device that looked very similar to the Isus’ stasis pods. This meant that anything they put there would remain in the state they were when they put it in until they take it out then time will resume for them normally (no sudden aging though so if they plan to age meat, they gotta do it the old fashion way).

Layla is the one who noticed the ‘vending machine’ looking thing with an entire touchscreen just covering the front of it next to the pantry and she tried using it, eyes going wild when she realized what the touchscreen was showing.

It was some kind of online shopping app but the ‘price’ was showing something called “Points” instead. There was some kind of trashcan-like thing attached to it and Clay just dumped a bag of green peas from the pantry into it (“Clay!” “What? No one likes frozen green peas! It’s a stasis pod, WHY would it even have frozen green peas?!”) and the app gave them 3 points for the green peas. Out of curiosity, Layla dropped the 20 dollars she was hiding in her boot and it gave them “2000 points”. They would need to experiment some more but it seemed like actual currency gives them more points than items (or maybe the app just doesn’t like frozen green peas).

Then they saw another touchscreen in a room that looked to be some kind of meeting room and it looked like… a map? No. It was like one of those big screens in meeting rooms and… it was showing a list of years.

Each year was grayed out and next to it were points.

Desmond’s eyes widened as he saw the first year he recognized.

1191 was grayed out and it had “200,711,170,000 points” next to it. He tried to click it and it gives an error of “You have insufficient points to travel to this year. Please add more funds.”

And then Layla went “Oh, oh, oh! 431 BC! It’s not grayed out!” and Desmond clicked it instead.

It then gave them locations. All of the locations were grayed out with Athens needing “10,000 points” and Lakonia needing “30,000 points”. There was only one location that wasn’t grayed out: Megaris. When they clicked that, the only option it gave them was an unlocked “Magara”.

“It seems the pocket dimension is giving this to you as a ‘freebie’.” “Or a tutorial run.”

They tried giving more items from the pantry to the ‘trashcan’ but it only gives them measly ‘1~5 points’ so, yeah, Desmond wasn’t unlocking 1191 anytime soon. It was even the cheapest of the three years Desmond wanted to pick too!

Left with no choice (and 2 coins from Minerva did give them ‘20,000 points’ total), they decided to open a restaurant in the only place they can travel to and get enough money to unlock the other years.

(Oh god. I unintentionally created an isekai OP system for them…)

You know… I said first but, goddamn, that took a while.

Anyway…

Unorganized Note Related to the Restaurant:

Desmond is their main chef with Clay being his sous chef/kitchen lackey, mainly because Desmond did have a bit of experience with cooking (he has the most experience among the four of them anyway) and Clay used to part-time for diners too during his college years.

Layla’s specialty is college-approved cup noodles. She is only allowed to help cut stuff up and stir things until they’re sure she can handle more.

Minerva burned water. Her defense of “I never considered a need to cook” was not accepted (together with the implication that she had human slaves to do it for her) and she has been barred from the kitchen.

This means Minerva is their waitress and Layla tried to get her to smile but she just stares at her. Because of this, Layla has been conscripted to manage the front end and make sure Minerva doesn’t insult anyone by mistake.

The pantry needs to be restocked if they were going to use it, of course, so their points will also be used to make sure they have the food they can serve and sell.

The touchscreen in the kitchen gives a list of food that they can check (thankfully no greyed-out ones). Most of them have warnings of “Desmond Miles is not experienced enough to make this yet. There is a high chance of failure. Will you still risk it?” and “Necessary support not yet acquired. Please try again once necessary support is available.”. All those that give warnings have a red triangle for the ones that have a high chance of failure on the left side of the recipe name and a red x mark for those that need ‘support’ on the same left side. Some even have both x and triangle.

QOL for the kitchen touchscreen: it automatically takes items from the pantry and it appears on some kind of dumbwaiter-like hole below the touchscreen. It will also give messages of ingredients that need to be bought first and poking ‘buy’ also sends those newly bought ingredients to the hole. Very convenient. (like someone who had been so annoyed about having to go thru so many menus to find information on the ingredients necessary for their synthesizing had developed this feature)

They realized what support means when Clay clicked on “Pomidorówka” because he remembered making that with his grandmother. A message of “Support member: Clay Kaczmarek is necessary for this dish for now. Continue?” popped up and they poked ‘yes’ and Clay recognized the recipe as the exact recipe that his grandmother taught her. So… apparently, the necessary support is someone who would know the recipe more than Desmond.

Because there are a lot of recipes, they decide to have a revolving menu instead. If Desmond likes the customer enough, he might be willing to take off-the-menu requests.

Unorganized Notes for the timeline and stuff:

Technically, the restaurant can time-hop to any year they have unlocked at any time (unlocking is a one-time payment, I’m not that evil). It seems that the nearer they are to 2012, the more points they would need.

The restaurant would change the front-end design to fit what is ‘possible’ during that time period. The backend (kitchen + meeting room + 2nd floor) remains the same with the exception of cutleries and utensils that their customers would use.

Desmond is the only person who can leave the pocket dimension BUT all the touchscreens are unavailable if he’s not in the pocket dimension and shows a time limit of 1 hour (which can be ‘charged’ by expending points, 1,000 points = 1 minute). The second floor is also inaccessible when Desmond leaves and anyone on the second floor is teleported to the meeting room the moment Desmond steps out.

It seems that actual currency (regardless of the year) will always give x100 amount of points. (ex: 50 florins will give 5,000 points). Ingredients and other items from the online shopping app seemed to be forever 50% of its original real-life price (by their estimate). There’s also sales and flashsales. The app’s sales have weird titles like “Not Gonna Make A Racist Joke Sale” (no that’s really the name of the sale) for sales on ingredients not normally available in the US and “I Can’t Believe It’s Butter Sale” for all kinds of butter and products with butter or made from butter. Their favorite is “I Don’t Get Paid To Do This So I Wanna Play A Game” sale where everything has a 70%-90% discount but the caveat is that the sale only last for 15 minutes from the moment they tapped ‘Let’s Play!’ from the message.

Their restaurant would become ‘legendary’ because of the good food that might be strange or unfamiliar to a lot of people but the taste is definitely to die for (thank you, modern convenience).

Time flows as normal when they’re in a specific timeline but anyone in the pocket dimension doesn’t seem to age.

Minerva believes that there is some kind of Apple-like mind manipulation at play in the pocket dimension. It’s nothing big, just a simple “this is a normal restaurant with normal-looking employees” and maybe a bit of “you will not think anything is weird here.”.

Desmond would sometimes go to the front when it’s slow or Clay tells him to take a break and that Clay can handle things on his own for a while. That’s usually when he interacts with the customers.

While they can only ‘take’ a few as employees, their actions in the timeline do change things… a bit. Maybe some who were meant to die don’t, maybe they get a different ending… etc.

Unorganized Notes for the Layla Trilogy:

Kassandra does notice that something is weird about the restaurant but Layla seems friendly enough so she keeps coming back (maybe even starts to flirt with Layla?).

Kassandra finally sees that something is weird about the restaurant after she returns from Atlantis. This gives a message of “Kassandra’s room has been unlocked” in all the touchscreens. They bring Kassandra to the second floor and she opens the door. The room looks like a mix of her bedroom when she was a child, when she was in Kephallonia, and the home she had in Ionian Watch. On the bed was a box which she picked up. Inside is a note that says “If you drink this, you will become part of this dimension. A copy will be created to ensure that your remaining tasks as dictated by the Calculations will be fulfilled and keep the timeline stable. Warning: becoming a denizen of this dimension will mean you will be unable to leave.” and inside the box is a small bottle with an unknown liquid inside.

Considering Kassandra is effectively an immortal in canon so it's up to you if she drinks it or she's like the regular who pops in and out regardless of when the restaurant is at the moment.

The ‘cheapest’ year around Bayek’s time is 48 BCE (20,171,027,000) - Alexandria (20,000) - It is also the cheapest year in general.

Bayek becomes a regular because they buy the meat he takes from his kills for a good price, especially if it’s fresh, and also give him a discount on the food. (They don’t really need the meat but Layla insisted they try to find ways to help Bayek and this was their… ‘compromise’)

Eivor’s cheapest year is 873 (20,201,110,000) - Ravensthorpe (20,000). Strangely enough, all the people in Ravensthorpe seem to believe that they had just opened up shop. Randvi even tells Eivor that they were constructing the restaurant while Eivor was away building an alliance. Hytham vouched for them and tells Eivor they are allies of the Hidden Ones. (More mind-bending stuff from the restaurant apparently)

Minerva and Eivor… may have a thing? Minerva knows Eivor is Odin’s Sage and she remembers how Odin slept with her and used her but, at the same time, the attraction is there.

Any feasts and such are now done in the restaurant and Eivor and Randvi pay for ‘catering’.

Mandatory ‘employees’: Bayek and Eivor

Possible mandatory ‘employee’: Kassandra

Potential optional ‘employees’: Hytham - 890 (20,201,110,000), Aya - 30 BCE (20,171,027,000), Alexios (Deimos) - 422 BCE (20,181,002,000)

Unorganized Notes for the Desmond Saga:

Alright, here comes the main harem (I mean, you can totally add anyone to the harem but these are the big three that are mandatory XD)

The cheapest location in 1191 is Jerusalem for 100,000 points (“What the fuck.” “I think the pocket dimension knows what’s in ‘high demand’.”) and Desmond left to check things out (get a feel on when in 1191 they were in) and took around 1 hour and 20 minutes (costing them an additional 20,000 points).

He came back with a barely hanging in there Kadar and the touchscreens all pinged a “Kadar Al-Sayf’s room has been unlocked” and Desmond realized what the pocket dimension was trying to do. He gets Kadar to his room and opened the box, revealing a small bottle with a note attached to it that says “If Kadar Al-Sayf drinks this, he will become part of this dimension. As his part of the Calculations have already been completed, no replica will be made however, as a denizen of this dimension, Kadar Al-Sayf cannot leave this pocket dimension.”

Desmond asks Kadar if he wants to live no matter what and Kadar nods. Kadar is saved but he’s stuck in the restaurant now. He doesn’t seem to mind and admits that he became an Assassin because it’s what was expected of him. He likes cooking and helping Desmond. Kadar is a possible harem candidate but not mandatory.

Kadar also unlocks a few of the recipes and he’s the reason why Desmond realized that some of the ‘necessary supports’ have “????” in the recipe. One of them was noted as: “???? Kadar Al-Sayf ????” and Kadar mentioned how his brother could make that specific food better which makes Desmond believe that the “????” are other possible supports and it’s a hierarchy of who can make it best (from best to worst(?)/meh(?))

Kadar waits until an informant he trusts goes to the restaurant and asks the informant to tell Malik that he’s here but to not report it to anyone else and Malik visits. Kadar lies to Malik, saying that he is hiding in the kitchens so Al Mualim wouldn’t know he’s alive… because he doesn’t want to be an Assassin. This does drive a wedge between the brothers but Malik keeps quiet about Kadar’s survival and becomes a regular.

Altaïr visits the restaurant because Malik wasn’t in the bureau and he’s annoyed. Minerva and Altaïr starts glaring at each other because Altaïr is rude and Minerva is more rude so Desmond goes out to take care of Altaïr’s table while Malik is in the private tables (usually used for big party) so he can talk to Kadar and he wants Altaïr to wait… for a while.

Once it becomes clear that Malik was planning to make Altaïr for quite a while, Desmond just gives up and sits with Altaïr and talks to him (“Flirt with him.” “It’s not flirting.” “Uh-huh, Layla…” “Definitely flirting.” “Eivor.” “The stars in your eyes do not lie, Desmond.” “Minerva.” “Yes.” “Any objection from the peanut gallery? No? In conclusion: flirting!”)

After that, Altaïr becomes a regular, even going to Jerusalem on the way to his next mission even if it’s… not really on the way.

Altaïr is the first person to receive a takeout box (“I think they call that a bento box of love.” “No, it’s not.” “Desmond… you ordered the goddamn bento box from the app. It's even one of those expensive ones that keeps the food warm for hours.” “It was on sale.” “Uh-huh. You have anything to say, Kadar? You helped him make that bento box.” “It’s not a bent-” “I made the heart-shaped carrots!” “KADAR!” “I got your back, Desmond! ( ´ ▽ ` )b” “Oh my god.”)

Anyway, uuuhhh… Altaïr and Desmond start a relationship and Altaïr’s room is unlocked after Al Mualim’s death and he visits the restaurant on his way to Acre (it’s… it’s not the optimal route to take, Altaïr.) to talk to Desmond because the Apple showed him a vision of Desmond. Altaïr drinks it without hesitation and his copy is created in the room itself. It asks for Altaïr’s Apple and he gives it to the copy. They watch as the copy leaves the restaurant then… decide that the restaurant is closed for the day since their head chef was ‘busy’ celebrating.

Depending on which Ezio you’ll like to add to the restaurant/harem, the cheapest year would be AC2!Ezio: 1476 (200,911,170,000) - Monteriggioni for 100,000 points, ACB!Ezio: 1503 (201,011,160,000) - Rome (Tiber Island) for 100,000 points, ACR!Ezio: 1511 (201,111,150,000) - Constantinople (Galata District) for 100,000 points.

If you choose AC2!Ezio: he and Desmond start talking whenever he visits. Once he sees Minerva’s message, he recognized her as the quiet waitress Minerva and that’s when he’ll learn the truth from Desmond and the others. That’s also when he learned that the guy he had been flirting with was in a relationship with the legendary Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

If it wasn’t AC2!Ezio, Ezio would learn of Desmond early on because he recognized Minerva. Minerva likes to call him ‘prophet’ too so the jig is up before it could even begin. Ezio is a bit wary at first but he keeps coming back anyway because he has questions. Also… he just likes talking to Desmond. He’s a regular and knows about Altaïr but also knows that Altaïr seems okay with him flirting with Desmond. He and Desmond start a relationship around the midway point of ACB/ACR and is the first non-’employee’ to ever visit the second floor. (Not counting Kadar)

His room unlocks after (AC2) recovering the Apple and returning to Monteriggioni, (ACB) letting gravity take care of Cesare, and (ACR) visiting the library underneath Masyaf seeing the bones of Altaïr’s replica.

The cheapest year for Ratonhnhaké:ton is 1776 (201,210,300,000) - Davenport (100,000). Like Ravensthorpe, the people of the homestead seemed to believe that they helped build the restaurant.

Ratonhnhaké:ton becomes a regular and visits every time he returned to the homestead. As if to counter the lack of customers/regulars, the sales they get in this time period have a x1000 modifier instead. (“Where was this in Ravensthorpe, huh?!” “Stop shouting at the touchscreen. Randvi and Eivor kept us afloat and profiting, remember? Achilles can’t do that here.”)

Desmond tried to save Haytham but was unable to because of the limitations.

Ratonhnhaké:ton’s door unlocks when he gets the Apple from Washington and he joins the restaurant after trying to look for his village for three more years.

Ratonhnhaké:ton only starts a relationship with Desmond after he joins the restaurant.

Mandatory ‘employees’: Kadar, Altaïr (mandatory harem member), Ezio (mandatory harem member) and Ratonhnhaké:ton (mandatory harem member)

Potential optional ‘employees’: Adha - 1190 (200,802,050,000), Malik Al-Sayf - 1226 (200,711,170,000), Maria Thorpe - 1228 (200,711,170,000), Darim Ibn-La'Ahad - 1260 (201,111,150,000), Sef Ibn-La'Ahad - 1226 (201,111,150,000), Federico Auditore - 1476 (200,911,170,000), Yusuf Tazim - 1512 (201,111,150,000), Aveline de Grandpré - 1777 (201,210,300,000)

Hey, teecup, why are there a lot of AC1 characters??? Ah, it’s not that there are a lot of AC1 characters, it’s that there are a lot of Ibn-La'Ahad characters. I wonder why.

Unorganized Notes for the Unnamed MC Saga:

Alright, all mandatory employees here are possible harem candidates but not mandatory harem members. (actually, the same can be said for anyone that can become an employee of the time-hopping pocket dimension, especially Haytham and Edward)

Speaking of Edward Kenway! The cheapest is 1717 (201,310,290,000) - Nassau (100,000) and the restaurant sorta takes over the already established tavern there. Anne Bonny seemed to believe that she works there from 8 to 5 as a waitress and everyone just rolls with it. Especially since she calls Minerva ‘Minnie’.

Edward and the rest of his pirate ‘friends’ are regulars. Edward starts getting close to Ratonhnhaké:ton who keeps quiet about their blood relation.

They actually time-travel to 1725 (201,310,290,000) - London (100,000) and Edward is happy to see them and seemed to believe that they have opened shop in London so they stay for a while… saving up for their next time-hop. During that time, Edward and his family became regulars and young Haytham likes following Ratonhnhaké:ton around. Edward’s room finally opens on December 3, 1735 and Ratonhnhaké:ton tells him the importance of the date. If he returns home, he will die, Jennifer will be sold off and Haytham will become a Templar.

Edward refuses to drink the bottle and leaves the restaurant. Ratonhnhaké:ton knew he would pick that choice and he accepts it… then notice that the box was empty. Edward had taken the bottle.

Edward manages to get Jennifer to safety but he’s too wounded to do anything else. Desmond gets there in time to help Edward drink the bottle, hoping that it would do something. It didn’t and Edward dies in his arms instead.

When he returns to the restaurant, he learns that Edward appeared in his room and his last memory was Desmond helping him drink the bottle which meant that the Edward Desmond saw died was his replica.

They stayed to make sure Jennifer was safe (who gets taken in by the Brotherhood and smuggled out of London while Tessa and Haytham Kenway are taken by Birch to an unknown location) before Edward requests that they try to save Haytham.

Minerva warns that they cannot make any big waves. This pocket dimension wasn’t meant to change what will come to pass. It was always meant to give Desmond a reward that he desires. Desmond argues that what he desires most is to save as many people as he can so he agrees to Edward’s request.

The possible year they thought of is 1756 (201,411,111,000) - New York (100,000). One of their regulars is Shay Cormac and Ratonhnhaké:ton knows him although they seem to have to wait for a bit for Shay Cormac to meet Haytham Kenway. They asked Shay to give a message to Haytham.

So Shay kinda becomes… a tagalong to the entire Kenway drama and learns about the ‘magic’ of the restaurant after Edward shows up and Haytham recognized him as his long dead father.

I have no idea if Shay and Haytham should have rooms. It’ll be a bit awkward if they do. If they do get rooms, Haytham’s room will unlock the day he is about to meet Ratonhnhaké:ton for the first time while Shay’s door unlocks after Haytham’s death and he returns to New York because he assumed the restaurant was still there (it was… but that’s because they need more funds before they can time-hop again).

They time-hop to Paris (100,000) in 1789 (201,411,110,000) because… uuuhh… someone bought Les Mis in the app and now a few of them wants to know just how accurate Les Mis is? IDK, man, it’s getting late and I want to finish this before I go sleep. Future!me will think of a nicer reason. Or you know, keep that reason ‘cause my tired mind thinks it’s funny.

Okay, so… for this one, it would be fun if the restaurant takes over Café Théâtre and Arno’s headquarters is transferred next door. Technically, Arno would become their ‘landlord’ (“Oh god, we’re renting now???” “Capitalism.” “That is not a reason!”)

Ezio takes Arno as his ‘budding investor’ student. Clay gets roped in because Ezio believed that he and Clay should have family quality time. Arno thinks they’re cousins.

Arno’s room opens after he returns to Paris after the Dead Kings DLC (they can also time-hop to Saint-Denis in 1794 for 300,000 + 201,501,150,000 points. Their call.)

They go to London (100,000) in 1868 (201,510,230,000) because Edward wanted to check on what happened to the Kenway mansion, I guess? Anyway, because they saved Jennifer, her descendant is now the mentor of the London Assassins but the Kenway mansion has been abandoned because… well… Templars.

It doesn’t really change Syndicate’s plot all that much. Only that Jayadeep is reporting to the mentor who had specifically told him not to do anything because Starrick has dug his claws too deeply in London already. Trying to assassinate him now (and his allies) would only fuck them up later on if they don’t have a fallout plan in place.

The Frye twins don’t have a fallout plan in place but that’s really not all that important to the restaurant plot, I guess?

Anyway, the restaurant gets the Rooks as regular. If we’re not making Arno or/and Jacob harem members, Jacob flirts with Arno badly and you can spin this as FrenchFrye. If they are harem members, FrenchFrye is also possible and it’s a case of FrenchFrye + Desmond. Go wild.

God, I may be getting too sleepy, I think this block might be more ‘suggestions’ than actual plot points, sorry, nonny

Anyway, Evie’s room opens after Starrick is dealt with. (and she might have an extra bottle for a special someone, hhhmmm?) Jacob believes he’s not been ‘chosen’ but that’s fine with him.

They might have time-hop somewhere else for a while then returned to London (100,000) in 1888 (201,512,150,000) where they learn that Jacob is missing.

Desmond takes Evie’s place since she’s stuck in the pocket dimension and Jack the Ripper DLC happens. At the end, Jacob’s room opens and he joins the restaurant.

Mandatory ‘employees’: Arno, Evie, Jacob

Possible mandatory ‘employees’: Shay, Haytham, Jayadeep (for Evie)

Potential optional ‘employees’: Anne Bonny and Mary Read - 1721 (201,310,290,000), Adéwalé - 1758 (201,402,180,000), Élise de la Serre - 1794 (201,411,110,000), Lydia Frye - 1919 (201,510,230,000)

Modern Day Era and Other Unorganized Notes (Honestly I just cut the notes up because blocks have a character limit and an entire list is considered 1 block)

If you think the whole ‘can’t leave’ part is too much, it’s a lie. There’s an item in the shopping app that does let them ‘leave’ in the sense that they will have the same limitation as Desmond does. It’s a tacky-looking bracelet called “Break Time Pass” that can be purchased for “99,999,999,999,999” points. It’s one of the most expensive items in the app, it does not appear if searched or if they use the ‘highest price first’ sort in the ‘all items’ page, its ‘store’ can only be found by going thru a lot of pages and it will never go on sale BUT it can be purchased as many times as they want and anyone can use it.

I know there are too many people for a restaurant but… you know… shifts and stuff.

One of the things I remember most about nagas for some reason is that they are the enemies of the Garuda so how about a fantasy AU where Desmond is a member of the naga race, perhaps he’s even the son of a Naga Raja but he left his den and likes to live alone in a lake or by the river.

One day, he’s just lazing around when something crashes into the waters from such a great height it drenched Desmond completely. Mostly out of curiosity, he swam deeper and fished out a Garuda with wounds all around the body and wings with a lot of feather missing.

Desmond knew that their races were enemies but these marks…

They weren’t the marks that a naga’s weapons would make. Desmond would know. All of their weapons had poison after all.

This meant…

This Garuda was attacked by something else.

So he nurses the Garuda, not knowing that this simple act of kindness will change Desmond’s life forever.

Okay, so I kept the Garuda’s identity vague because this could work with any of them. For any of your pick, the reason for the Garuda’s current state would be:

Altaïr: He was chased out of his nest that he had been the leader of. As far as he knows, his entire family has been killed and the last he saw his oldest son is him screaming as both of them went down. His story will involve Desmond joining him in looking for his oldest son and trying to help him grieve over the lost of his loved ones.

Ezio: His nest had been burned to the ground by creatures that worship a god they call the Father of Understanding because they wanted the treasure the Garuda that Ezio was part of was guarding. His story will involve Desmond helping him find any survivors from his nest and recovering the stolen treasure while creating a new nest of their own.

Ratonhnhaké:ton: It was exhaustion that caused him to fall and he’s very tight-lipped on where his wounds had come from. Desmond would follow him because he left while he’s still recovering and he’d learn that Ratonhnhaké:ton had gotten all those wounds after a huge battle that ended with him killing his own father and now, he’s trying to finish it and kill the one who took over his father’s place. The same cur who burned his nest when he had been young, indirectly killing his mother.

Haytham: This would be the inverse of Ratonhnhaké:ton’s story where he falls after he fails to kill his son and it’s kinda implied that he did it on purpose. Oh, he meant to die (which always made Desmond frown at him) and he’s sure everyone assumes he’s dead. For now, he’ll stay low and accept Desmond’s hospitality while he thinks of his next steps. Desmond is pretty sure Haytham is only half-serious when he says his next step should be to try and kill his son successfully this time around.

Edward: It would be funny if the reason why he fell is because he had been drinking so much and got into a scuffle or something but, let’s be honest, the reason why Edward would look so battered and wounded would be because this is the Edward who tried to save the last of his friends but wasn’t able to as she died in his arms. To give the others a chance to fly away, he stayed until he was sure they were far enough and tried to fly away, getting chased and ending up losing consciousness and dropping into the waters below out of pure exhaustion.

Shay: Shay fell into the waters after being chased and attacked by Garudas of the same nest as him. He would try to hide it from Desmond first but the truth is he had stolen his nest’s treasure because he learned it could destroy lands but no one would believe him. He and Desmond set out to find other treasures like it and ends up fighting Shay’s old nest.

Arno: Okay. This is the real idiot who got so fucking drunk and nosedived into the water because, as he likes to explain to Desmond, he got dumped. It doesn’t take a genius to find out that Arno isn’t telling the whole story and this is more contained, with Desmond and Arno staying in Desmond’s little hidey-hole while Arno tries to audition for Bella Swan’s “3-month-rest”. Honestly, this is more about Desmond helping Arno realize that his dependency on his ex’s love for him and making that his main push to do things is not healthy and is actually a symptom of his crippling abandonment issues created by the death of his father that further dug its claws in him when he was adopted by strangers.

Jacob: There was an incident concerning an ex-’partner’ that involved the deaths of fledglings and the burning of a location that he was pretty much trapped in. Jacob wasn’t really that forecoming with the details. Also, a few days after he woke up but still healing, a huge flocks started flying all around shouting “boss!” and that’s how Desmond learned Jacob was the leader of the local Garuda ‘delinquent’ gang.

Evie: She had been flying away from some cult that wanted the key she had and Desmond had to follow her because she’s still injured but she insisted she needed to return to her flock. (Desmond is worried because she always talked about a flock but never a nest and the only flockmembers he had heard of were her brother and another Garuda by the name of Mister Green)

Bayek: Pure exhaustion after killing one of the men that had a hand in the death of his son caused him to fall from the sky. He also had some kind of golden ball with him that seemed to call to Desmond for some reason and Bayek just… starts visiting after he left. Desmond isn’t sure why but it’s nice to have company so he doesn’t say anything about it.

Kassandra: Kassandra is quite cagey about what happened that caused her to fall into the waters. She also doesn’t seem to mind staying in Desmond’s hidey-hole even after her wounds have healed. There’s always a hint of sadness in her eyes and Desmond is sure she’s older than she says she is.

Alexios/Deimos: There was a huge fight that caused all his injuries. He’s still bitter over the fact that the only reason he lived was because his opponent had been merciful. To rub salt to the wound, his opponent turns out to be his sister and Desmond really didn’t want to get in the middle of that family ‘drama’ but, well, Alexios is a bit of an idiot when it concerns his own wellbeing so he follows him back to wherever the hell he was supposed to go, telling Alexios (and himself) that it’s only until he had fully healed, okay? No. Seriously.

Eivor: There was a huge fight between her and her ‘brother’ that ended with her being exiled from the nest. Eivor had a run-in with one of the ‘people’ that her nest had raided before and she was outnumbered and tired so retreating had been her only option (as much as she hated it and believed it dishonor her). Desmond thinks there’s more to the story but he’s not gonna pry. (I think it would be better for Eivor to be able to shapeshift into a raven instead and the plot twist is she’s Odin, one of the many gods of the world)

Basim: Kinda like Haytham’s deal but this is after his battle with Eivor and he lost but managed to get away. As he was healing, he tells Desmond about his son and Desmond asked why don’t he just find his son? Why focus on revenge? And Basim… can’t even answer that.

(Bonus) Clay: He was being held by really, really bad assholes who worship the Father of Understanding and they did something to him that, in Clay’s own words, broke his mind. Desmond doesn’t really understand any of it but Clay insists that the golden ball he had with him was important and he needs to give it to someone but he can’t remember who. Desmond tells him he should focus on healing first and he’ll help him try to regain his memories. (Desmond has no idea how though but keeping Clay from reopening his wounds was the pressing issue at the moment)

If we set this up to the same modern day harem idea as this

It will become “the Battle of the Sugar Daddies”.

Desmond has no idea what started it. Perhaps someone said something and it just snowballed from there. Maybe it’s just their competitive side finally raising its head once more which happens every few months or so.

Maybe they just thought “oh, Desmond’s life has been quite peaceful for a while now, it’s time to annoy him”…

Regardless, the end result is the same.

Desmond has to ‘suffer’ through all of them trying to garner his attention.

He wondered what the prize was this time?

More time with him in exchange for lessening the other’s time?

Maybe something dumb like being the one to choose which movie they’ll watch for the next movie night?

Hell, Desmond wouldn’t be surprised if the prize was a bag of candy.

Because he knew they just like to use these excuses as a way to dote on Desmond without Desmond being able to refuse them.

Desmond wasn’t even sure they realized he knew about the truth of these competitions.

And he wasn’t going to say anything.

Because he did enjoy them all the same.

Unorganized Notes:

‘The Battle of the Sugar Daddies’ is a random event that happens quite a lot. It’s their way of showering Desmond with love and affection while pretending that’s not their main intension.

The truth was it started because Desmond always looked so flustered and hesitant when they show their love for him quite blatantly. The ‘battle’ was an excuse they would use so Desmond would believe that they were being selfish and ‘using’ him. Desmond was confused at first but he knows how competitive they could get so he didn’t think it was that strange.

Desmond did believe it… for the first five times. After that, he realized what they were doing and, at that point, he had gotten used to being their most important person that he starts to enjoy it.

One of these days, one of them is going to go all out and book a spaceship that would fly them out of earth for a few hours as a ‘space date’ and, really, Desmond’s initial idea was it would be Altaïr but, considering just how competitive everyone was, he wouldn’t put it pass any of them to actually try and get a space date with Desmond just to annoy Altaïr.

The truth is ‘space date’ has been banned from all competition because there was no topping that.

Marriage proposal has also been banned from all competitions because everyone considers it a low blow and would just make Desmond feel bad because he can’t say no but saying yes would make him believe he’s betraying the others.

“Killing William Miles is not an acceptable gift.” is part of the rules of the competition.

"This letter," the villager said, "must reach the Alchemist who lives in a distant land, far beyond the mountains and across the vast ocean. I trust in your remarkable gift, Pip. Will you deliver it for me?"

Pip chirped in agreement, his tiny wings quivering with excitement. With the letter carefully secured in a small pouch around his neck, Pip took off into the sky, his feathers catching the warm rays of the sun.

Through wind and rain, Pip soared across boundless landscapes, crossing forests, rivers, and valleys. His wings carried him tirelessly, and his determination never wavered. He encountered diverse landscapes, each holding its own beauty and challenges.

As Pip ventured into unknown territories, he encountered other birds who provided him with guidance and companionship. They shared stories of their own journeys and offered advice on how to navigate through treacherous storms and unfamiliar territories.

Days turned into weeks, and Pip's little body grew weary, but he refused to give up. His devotion to delivering the letter and fulfilling his mission fueled his spirit. His wings grew stronger, and his resolve deepened.

Finally, after a long and arduous flight, Pip arrived at the destination—a bustling city in the faraway land. The sights, sounds, and scents overwhelmed him, but he stayed focused on his task. He searched for the address written on the letter and found himself standing before a door.

Pip gently dropped the letter on the doorstep and let out a melodious chirp, hoping someone inside would notice. The door opened and out came the Alchemist. Curiosity piqued, they opened it and began to read the heartfelt words within.

Touched by the message, the recipient of the letter smiled and thanked the Pip who flew back to the village.

Inside it says: "Assassin's Creed x Ace Attorney Au with Harem for Desmond because I'm trash".

The alchemist watched the little bird fly away and wondered why they had never tried to employ a creature of their own to ferry their mail.

Only for a mirthless smile to appear on their face as they remembered the eldritch horror that slipped out of their cauldron when they first tried to synthesize a living creature with the use of a red stone.

Yeeaaahhh.

The alchemist would be sticking to asking the courier to send the daily mail for now.

… until they have managed to create another red stone with 999 quality… then they’d try again.

Maybe.

The alchemist closed the door and picked up a small cauldron from the stack of clean small cauldrons by the door. They placed the letter inside the cauldron and they were about to place it by the fire when they saw a puff of magenta smoke coming from the small cauldron currently on the fire. They took the piece of letter from the cauldron and placed it by the table before standing by the fire, exchanging the cauldrons. As the cauldron heated and be slowly filled by liquid of endless possibility, the alchemist placed the other cauldron on the table and took out the pair of sai with a magenta shine to the blade in their hands from the inside of the cauldron. After inspecting it was of good quality, the alchemist placed it on the box marked as ‘daily deliveries’.

The alchemist walked towards their chest to pick up some materials to include in this synthesis, wondering if they still have any taco shells left.

========= Actual Answer Portion =========

Now, the usual setup would be to kick Desmond into taking the defense attorney role as the main character but I say let’s spice things up a bit.

Desmond isn’t the defense attorney nor is he the main character of this idea…

He’s the defense attorney’s assistant who has the ability to channel spirits for a few brief seconds or so and so unlucky he becomes a suspect in a murder at least once every year XD

That’s right!

In this idea, Desmond will be our Maya Fey!

(mainly because the whole Maya getting possessed by her sister at times would be this AU’s equivalent to the Bleeding Effect)

As for the main defense attorney, we’re going for Shaun because he’s smart enough to be an attorney, his conspiracy theorist side would work well to make this wackier than it should be if we had a purely straight man (hehe) as our defense attorney, and Shaun gets to suffer thru his assistant getting a harem while he’s just trying to do his job.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about the setup.

So, for this one, Shaun would be a newly badged (yeah, yeah, we’re sticking to Ace Attorney’s legal system which is based on the Japanese legal system) defense attorney and his boss helps him on his first case.

The first case was simple enough and his boss even complements him, telling him that he has more potential than his sorry excuse for a son.

Then…

The following morning, Shaun learns his boss has been murdered, and the number one suspect?

Desmond Miles, the murdered Defense Attorney William Miles’ runaway son.

(I’m sorry, Mia. I wish I could give you a better counterpart in this one but Bill was an easy target.)

So Shaun meets up with Desmond and, this time, there’s a bit of animosity between them because Shaun saw Bill as a good father-figure while Desmond thinks his old man was a bastard thru and thru (maybe give hints that Desmond running away changed Bill for the better and stuff) but Shaun trusts his gut instincts and thinks Desmond is innocent so he takes the case.

During the case itself, just when Shaun is losing hope and can’t find the evidence (or the anomaly) to show Desmond’s innocence, Desmond talks to him in a different tone and a deeper voice, telling him to look at the murder weapon once more. This makes Shaun realize that the murder weapon had a blood stain by the hilt which was strange all on its own since it’s right smack in the middle of how the murdered would have held the weapon.

The blood turned out to be the killer’s who had nicked their palm during the attack due to Bill fighting back and this was the smoking gun that exonerated Desmond.

By then though, Desmond’s face has been plastered quite a bit in the news and people in his last job as a bartender recognized him so he had to quit. He joins the new Hastings & Co. Law Offices as Shaun’s assistant.

And that’s when Shaun’s misery began.

Because…

No matter what personality they had or how unapproachable they were, the prosecutors going against Shaun will always… always… fall in love with Desmond during the case.

It’s a curse.

It’s a goddamn curse.

That was the only way Shaun could see it.

Desmond was both a catnip for murder allegations, hauntings (Shaun was pretty sure he was being haunted by the ancestor that Bill once told Shaun had been the very first Miles to be a defense attorney), and the weirdest most aggravating prosecutors out there.

And thus, starts Shaun’s journey into becoming the best defense attorney… while having first front seats to the court ‘drama’ harem story of his assistant.

Unorganized Notes:

The spirit possessing Desmond at times to help Shaun is his ancestor from his father’s side, Aquilus. Legend says he had spoken for those being prosecuted on their behalf during Ancient Roman times but… well… there’s no real evidence he even exists.

Desmond’s channeling capabilities come from his mother’s side who died when he was young. She was a branch family member of the Fey Clan (although we can change the name if you want, I think it would be a neat shoutout/reference) and Desmond has been ignored by the clan since psychic powers only truly manifest in females. Desmond’s channeling is restricted to one ‘ghost’ so, yeah, he’s ignored by his mother’s clan and some even suggest that he’s faking it since William Miles had been training him to be a lawyer since he was a kid so he actually knows more law than a lay person and is quite observant even though he usually pretends to be a just a ‘pretty face’.

Rebecca works in the office as their tech ‘guy’. This is one of her many side gigs and she only comes to the office once a week to check that Shaun and Desmond haven’t destroyed any of the tech she set up for them. She and Shaun have a thing going on and it’s not clear if it’s gonna lead to something romantic or it’s purely platonic but their closeness makes people just think that they have a thing going on.

Now… It’s time for Shaun’s main antagonists… and Desmond’s harem!

Altaïr: the first main prosecutor that got onto Shaun’s nerve. He believes he’s the best and, goddamn it, Shaun was mature enough to admit that he was certainly one of the best prosecutors he’d had the displeasure of having to ‘fight’. And, yeah, sure, Shaun would find some amusement in seeing Altaïr be all awkward around Desmond but he had just assumed that it was because Desmond was weird and so out of place in court that Shaun didn’t blame Altaïr at all for acting that way. Then… the case ended (which he won by the way, suck it, Altaïr!) and Shaun had to watch with building horror as Altaïr awkwardly asks Desmond out after the whole speech of ‘it was unprofessional for me to do this during the case’ and all that blah blah and Shaun horrifyingly realized that Altaïr hadn’t been weirded or confused by Desmond… he had been making goo-goo eyes with Desmond while trying to not make goo-goo eyes and… Shaun really thought Altaïr just looked both confused and maybe a bit constipated! How was he supposed to know those were his ‘trying to hide it’ goo-goo eyes??? Altaïr’s assistant Kadar was no help, just giving Shaun a thumbs up as if he and Shaun were both on the same side and was supporting this horrifying situation.

Ezio Auditore came from a rich family but, after his father was wrongfully accused of espionage (What.), he became a lawyer, seemingly to take down as many corrupt government officials as he could get. Shaun had taken the job because he truly believed Monsieur de la Serre (no, really, he wanted to be called monsieur, dear lord) wasn’t corrupt. Unlike Altaïr (who Desmond was still dating, Shaun would like to stress), Ezio had no qualms about flirting with Desmond the entire time they were on court… and off the court. Shaun has no idea just how ‘exclusive’ Desmond and Altaïr were and, Shaun cannot stress this enough, Shaun would not like to know at all. Even after Monsieur de la Serre had been acquitted (of course), Ezio would be sending gifts in their office with small poems (and, one time, an actual oil painting of Desmond which Desmond found to be quite touching but Shaun only found it really, really creepy) attached to them for Desmond. Then he heard Rebecca and Desmond talking about how he has a date with Ezio tonight and he’d be picking him up in his apartment but Altaïr wants to meet Ezio first before they go and… at that point, Shaun had hidden in his office because, nope, not gonna touch that. Absolutely not!

Shaun’s next misfortunate came twofold. He had decided to take on the case of Connor- fine, Desmond- the case of Ratonhnhaké:ton who was the prime suspect in the murder of one Charles Lee. And the prosecutor? Haytham Kenway, a veteran prosecutor who many believe would become a judge a year or so from now. So, everything was proceeding well enough. Shaun has gotten used to Altaïr’s unannounced visits and Ezio’s gifts that seeing Ratonhnhaké:ton stealing glances and looking down whenever Desmond smiles at him? Shaun was zen. Shaun was like the ocean. Seeing the way Haytham Kenway’s eyes ablaze not from anger whenever his eyes would meet Desmond? Shaun was zen. Shaun was like the ocean. Learning that Ratonhnhaké:ton and Haytham were actually father and son who didn’t know they were related at all and framing Ratonhnhaké:ton had been one big elaborate plan by a father wishing vengeance against Haytham who prosecuted his only son which led to said son’s death? Shaun was NOT zen. Nope! And, for once, it wasn’t Desmond’s fault!

The next on Shaun’s growing ‘I don’t wanna know, Desmond, I really don’t’ list was Haytham’s older brother, Edward Kenway, who looked and acted like the type of man who’d be in a lot of trouble with the law. But nooooo. He was also a prosecutor and… at this point, Shaun just wanted to get away from the Kenway drama. Oh, and they were now employing Ratonhnhaké:ton as their muscles because… Desmond told Shaun he needs a job while he’s looking for a new place to live (Shaun was sure he was living with Desmond at the moment and, last time Shaun had unfortunately eavesdropped on Desmond and Rebecca, Desmond was officially living with Altaïr so… Shaun does not know and doesn’t want to know what Ratonhnhaké:ton’s real living situation is)

Sidebar: if we aim to give Altaïr the Miles Edgeworth treatment: his foster father (Rashid) is the one who killed his father when Altaïr was young.

Other harem candidates + Shaun’s ‘enemies’:

Shay works for ‘Kenway & Kenway’ (no, really, that’s the name of the law firm, it was Edward’s idea, ssiigghh) and would be against Shaun who would represent one Hope Jensen who allegedly poisoned an entire warehouse filled with employees of Starrick Industries. Shay used to be a defense attorney but he became a prosecutor after a falling out with his old law firm ‘Davenport & Co’.

Arno is a new prosecutor but he’s quickly getting notoriety for being very hands-on, going to crime scenes and doing his own investigations. Police officers either like him or hate him for that, there is no in-between when it comes to how the police officers see Arno. Arno’s also a bit of a flirt and Shaun is getting Ezio vibes from him. From the way Desmond acts around him, Shaun knows Desmond finds him cute… and Shaun hates the fact that he’s been in this hell long enough that he can understand when Desmond finds someone cute already. Oh. And Arno was the prosecutor against Shaun’s client Mirabeau… and apparently the ex of Monsier de la Serre’s daughter? Shaun… doesn’t want to know.

Jacob Frye… was the prime murder suspect actually… of a fire that killed kids. He was also very, very mum about the entire thing which was suspicious. The prosecutor to his case was his own twin sister, Evie Frye, which Shaun believed should not happen but Evie managed to convince the judge that she plans to uphold the law regardless if it was against her twin and Shaun really doesn’t want to get into this family drama. He was just starting to be able to ignore the Kenway family drama happening with his assistant, damn it! Anyway, Jacob is innocent (of course) and Shaun managed to find the real culprit… only to find out later that Evie had been the one to send that envelope of cash that asks them to take Jacob as their client and… oh. Jacob’s fine. He’s already flirting with Desmond behind Evie as Shaun and her continue to talk. Siiigghhh. (Evie can also be part of the harem if you want)

High in the halls of the kings who are gone,

(He) would dance with his ghosts,

The ones he had lost and the ones he had found,

And the ones who had loved him the most

Jenny of Oldstones as sung by Florence + the Machine

This would work well as the premise of a short oneshot of Desmond not dying after using the device in the Grand Temple, instead sealing himself in the temple itself.

There he spends his days talking to his ghosts, the Bleeds he had and, as a reference to the line “couldn't remember their names”, perhaps he’d even start to Bleed ancestors he didn’t even watch in the Animus like Haytham’s father who he doesn’t remember the name of but know of.

The Grand Temple would end up being the halls he would spend the seasons in, perhaps slowly losing his mind to the Bleeding Effect and going as far as ‘hallucinating’ them touching him, thus they could ‘dance’.

And then the end would be “Til the walls did crumble and fall” which could either be a reference to the Grand Temple collapsing or about someone(s) (Abstergo most probably) finally being able to penetrate the doors of the temple and get in.

Whether they see Desmond alive or not… depends if Desmond had been eating the ambrosia-creating machine in the Grand Temple.

………………………………….

Possible Plot-twist:

The supposed ghost that only he could see turns out to be real.

Not in the ‘holy shit, they’ve time-traveled’ kind of way but more of… Desmond’s hallucinations and Bleeding Effect had taken corporal form thanks to the solar energy that the device had absorbed to protect the world which had slowly been dispensing ever since Desmond used the device. The day he could feel them touch him had been the day they achieved corporeal form.

And, to make this weirder than it already is, they’re not technically the actual ancestors of Desmond but what Desmond perceived them to be.

What Desmond wants them to be.

He had a unique hobby: writing letters. With his tiny paws and nimble fingers, he would carefully craft heartfelt messages on delicate parchment, expressing his thoughts, dreams, and musings. However, there was a dilemma - the village's post office was simply too close for his taste. He yearned for his letters to embark on grand adventures, just like he did.

One sunny morning, as the ferret strolled along the outskirts of the village, he spotted a magnificent pegasus gracefully gliding through the sky. The sight filled him with inspiration. With a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, he hatched a plan.

Approaching the pegasus, the ferret introduced himself and shared his ambitious idea. He explained that he longed to send his letters to a faraway post office, to places he had never seen. He asked her if she would be willing to take on the role of a postal courier and deliver his letters to distant lands.

Intrigued by his enthusiasm and enchanted by his whimsical idea, the pegasus agreed without hesitation. She recognized the beauty of spreading messages of love, friendship, and dreams across the world. With a gentle nod and a flutter of her wings, she accepted her new role as the ferret's loyal messenger.

And so the ferret immediately wrote a letter to the Alchemist and gave it to the pegasus who took it with grace.

Curious, she asked what is written and he replied: "a follow up from the Ace Attorney ask where maybe they had the Professor Layton crossover.

(I really enjoy writing these intros tbh)"

The pegasus landed in front of the alchemist’s atelier, being careful not to land on the small flower garden that was organized into small patches, each with a small wooden sign posts that seemed to be about each flower’s name and the meaning of their names. On the other side of the little atelier was a well that seemed to be close to overflowing right now that the pegasus was afraid just walking near it would shake the ground so slightly but it would be enough for the water to pour out of the well.

The pegasus walked towards the door of the atelier and neighed. When the door did not open, she cautiously walked around to check the window. The atelier’s lights were on and there seemed to be two cauldrons currently on the fire. Some kind of glowing and flaming ball that looked like a small sun was on the table, kept still by some sort of apparatus that the pegasus have never seen before. A few notes seemed to be lying on the floor in a hurry and there was a box filled with both mundane and strange items on the floor right next to one of the cauldrons.

The pegasus walked around the atelier to check for any clues to where the Alchemist was but she was willing to wait if the alchemist was currently out. She did promise to deliver the message and she intended to give it to the Alchemist personally.

Once she returned to the front of the atelier, she turned around to try and look for a place to rest while waiting for the Alchemist, only to find that a disheveled and dirty-looking Alchemist walking back to the atelier from the direction of the forest that the pegasus had seen to be the stomping grounds of many monsters.

“Are you alright?” The pegasus asked worriedly and looked at the Alchemist’s clothes. They must have been clean at one point but, right now, they were caked with…

“It’s not mud.” The Alchemist corrected the pegasus’ thoughts. They sighed and tried but failed to take out whatever was stuck on their hair as they explained, “it’s clay.”

“Clay?”

“Yeah…” The Alchemist sighed once more and opened their gathering bag where a lone small axe that seemed to have seen better days and more of the substance dirtying them was stored, “There was a slight incident with the cauldron I was using and this clay got away. Had to chase it around the forest.”

The pegasus looked at the Alchemist with a worrying expression and the Alchemist said calmly, “The cauldron malfunctioned. I’m planning to rebuild it, maybe change some of its traits or something.”

The Alchemist waved their hand as they said, “Anyway, enough about my monthly required physical exercise. Can I help you with anything?”

“Oh yes.” The pegasus showed the small bag they had and explained, “I have a request from a dear friend of mine.”

“Oh. Well, the small cauldrons should still be working…” The alchemist placed their basket down and walked towards the flank of the pegasus where the bag was. They slowly opened the bag and took out the only content in it.

The alchemist took a step back from the pegasus and opened the letter, reading it quickly and nodding to themselves.

“Oh… well…” The alchemist smiled as they mumbled to themselves, “This will be chaotic.”

(I'm enjoying these intros too)

.

Here’s the Ace Attorney AU idea with a long-suffering Shaun and a harem for Desmond

So… we have two options:

(1) We go for the crossover route where the Ace Attorney AU idea is crossed over with another series or franchise.

(2) We keep this contained into AC characters.

Regardless, the main idea remains the same:

Shaun and Desmond (Desmond’s harem being part of this chaos is optional) are transported into a medieval-looking town where there’s a witchhunt going on and Shaun defends the supposed ‘witch’.

The second party also meets up with Shaun and Desmond and they are more on the side of trying to look for what the hell is really happening and then checks up with Shaun and Desmond every now and then to give them more background about the town or to tell them about what they found out in general.

Whichever scenario we decide to run, our ‘Storyteller’ would be a mysterious glowing figure only known as the Reader.

And the defendant?

No matter what route we choose, it will always be a young woman named ‘Layla Hassan’.

Now…

For the Professor Layton side:

(1) Pure Crossover Chaos

Of course, we can go for the usual two main crossovers for a Desmond-centric (even if the POV of this idea will and forever be Shaun for Shaun’s maximum suffering) ideas: Infamous and/or Prototype. In this scenario, either we go for Alex and Delsin (who ends up becoming part of Desmond’s harem, ofc, sorry-not-sorry Shaun) or we keep it contain to one of the two series which will give us: Alex + Dana (or Ragland who would give us a doctor-focused investigative information and a “I am too human for this shit” setup) or Delsin + (Eugene for maximum shenanigans, Fetch to both tease and keep Delsin focused or Reggie so we can add some angst of this being a postgame!Delsin and a pregame!Reggie)

We go for a complete Ubisoft only crossover event which means: watch_dog (Aiden + T-Bone if you wanna keep it contained to the first game although Jacks could be the Luke to Aiden’s Layton instead), Prince of Persia (Sands of Time!Prince + Farah/Kaileena or Nolan North’s Prince + Elika or even the movie Prince (Dastan) + Tamina) or… Splinter Cell with Sam and maybe Sarah?

Go beyond and pick any other franchise you wanna add to this crossover. Hell, it could be the original Phoenix Wright or even Professor Layton. Make a reference to me having an AC/COD crossover by making this another CODMW crossover with Soap and Ghost. Give it a multiverse spin and go for Miles/Gwen or Hobbie/Pavitr (Miguel crashing in later on to spoil the fun and get back the missing Spideys optional). The sky’s the limit at this point.

Of course, the inhabitants of this town could be completely different versions of the characters of both AC and whichever other series/franchise you want to use as crossover (for example, if we’re going for Alex + Delsin combo, they’ll see a version of Dana and Reggie in town who don’t know who they are and are living different lives but still acting like the person Alex or Delsin knew).

Oooorrr we can make this a three-way (four way if we’re going for the Alex + Delsin combo) crossover and make the entire town another completely different series/franchise like say… BBC Merlin or Witcher… Hell, we can even go for broke and make our Labyrinthia fucking Yharnam from Bloodborne, really hammer in the nightmare fuel for poor, poor Shaun. Also, we don’t have to keep it as purely medieval (although the witchhunt would thematical work best with that kind of setup) and go for Cyberpunk’s Night City or London in watch_dog Legions if we’re making this an Ubisoft Only crossover.

If you really, really want to give Shaun a headache… Rabbids. The entire town and all of its inhabitants are aaaalllll Rabbids. They’re dressed up as any crossover you want BUT they’re all fucking Rabbids.

(2) Keep It Contained to the AC ‘Verse

Okay, so this one I think would be interesting.

There’s no Desmond Miles or Shaun Hastings BUT every other person in the medieval looking town/castle/labyrinth?

They’re all AC characters and… it’s heavily implied that this entire thing may or may not be an Animus simulation.

To be more specific, Layla Hassan, the defendant, has no idea where she is because the last thing she remembers is that her body died to save the world and she should be in the Gray with the Reader looking for ways to save the world from the catastrophes that just keep on coming.

She recognized everyone but they’re definitely not who she thinks they are.

And, we’re going to twist this a bit to make the Layton part be a trio instead of only a duo: Bayek, Kassandra and Eivor and:

Bayek’s last memories is the ending of the Hidden One DLC

Kassandra’s last memories is dying after giving Layla the staff

Eivor’s last memories is living in Vinland after leaving Ravensthorpe

So, Layla is sure that this might be some sort of screwed up Animus simulation.

Shaun is offended.

Desmond is distracted because…

The prosecutors for Layla’s witchhunts?

Of course they’re Altaïr, Ezio, and Ratonhnhaké:ton.

Dun dun dun.

Side bar:

There will come a time when Shaun would just go:

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, Desmond, but we need some time. Distract the prosecutors.”

Layla frowns at him as she asked, “How is he supposed to distract them?”

Shaun ignores Layla as he said, “Flirt with them. Have sex with them, I don’t care. Just distract them.”

“What.”

“Not sure about the sex part but, yeah, okay, I’ll flirt with them.”

.

Smashcut to Desmond now being in trial for witchcraft and his main ‘sin’ is that he had bewitched the three main prosecutors with love potions or plain old witchcraft.

“Oh my god, Desmond! Will there never be a year when you don’t become a suspect?!”