Yesterday was a big eating disorder conference with my mom,..
And it was incredible. There was so much great information and resources given. My only regret is that it wasn't longer! When it was ending they did a question and answer time and I actually swallowed my social anxiety and raised my hand to ask about equine therapy and alternative therapy directions with eating disorders. Of course, no one really knew and the one guy said he didn't thinks their equine therapist at Avalon hills was certified in equine therapy. Following the question and answer, I went up to the front to speak to the mft. I asked her how she knew when she was ready, as someone in recovery, to counsel others with eating disorders. She explained that clinically most places suggest five years of solid recovery. I asked how she defined solid recovery and when that really is considered started. She explained that she thinks there are two parts to recovery, one being the physical recovery of weight and health, and the other being the mind in getting to a point where you look at your ed and recognize that it's something you could never imagine going back to, even when things are difficult. She said there are things that may be unexpectedly triggering, especially with the way things like body image take so long to neurologically restore. I asked her about being an mft over lpc and she said it was simply because her school of choice offered mft and not lpc but her biggest suggestion was to do a lot of training and conferences in eating disorders after graduating, and to really focus in my recovery and trust that it will happen. She's a firm believer that recovery is possible. For the lunc hour, my mom and I had the salad bar for lunch and it was actually really delicious. We chatted about tidings that were irrelevant to the conference and it was nice actually having normal conversation together. On the drive home my mom asked me about what I had asked the mft, and I explained. I asked her wht she learned from the conference and said said that she had always kind of thought it was mostly about the food, but she thinks she understands now better why I developed an ed because it ran in our family and I had to many if the characteristics and experiences that set a person up for an ed. She asked me if I thought twelfth grade had been different if I wouldn't have had an ed. I explained that I didn't know, and explained the idea of trauma and hyperarousal and why it made sense that cutting and ed brought me down to a normal baseline. She also said she didn't realize that people with eds had such a hard time dealing with change, and she asked if that was the case for me. I said absolutely and explained that everything changing in twelfth grade sparked my cutting, college sparked my ed, getting engaged sparked yet ed going severely downhill, marriage and grad school influenced my relapse. There were multiple things involved in my yes and change didn't help. She asked about solace and if it had been helpful. I explained that it hadn't, but my a team was and is, as well as acupuncture and equine therapy. That was literally the most open conversation I may have ever had with my mom. It felt vulnerable and my voice may have shook, but it happened. I'm ok. She's ok. We are all going to make it.
