TF One re-write
Okay so, I didn't like TF One. But I think it had a lot of potential. So how would I have altered the story to make it better? Let me dump my thoughts onto the page for 3,700 words.
The scene opens with a desolate alien landscape. Rotting buildings, shifting metal shapes, dangerous and lonely. The camera pans down below ground to a fantastical underground city, full of shining buildings and alien robots on wheels, in the sky, and on foot. We pan to a building labelled âArchives!â with a sign stating âIntellectual Class only!â Around the side, a scruffy figure is climbing in through a vent to access a dim storage room.
Taking a stack of files, Orion plugs one into a display. It malfunctions, alerting a guard drone, but he manages to get it working. A history file, it explains how Primus became the planet Cybertron and created the great 13 Primes to rule the planet while he slept. The Matrix of Leadership was held by the Primes, only able to be wielded by true leaders with the purest of sparks. As long as the Matrix is held by a Prime, energon flows freely across the surface of Cybertron, the lifeblood and fuel of its children. But then the Quintessons came to enslave the Cybertronian race, and the Primes rose up against them. 12 of them fell. Solus, Alchemist, Quintus, Alpha Trion, Vector, Micronus, Nexus, Amalgamous, Quintus, Liege Maximo, even the great Prima, were lost to the oppressors. Only Sentinel Prime, the last Prime, was able to scrape victory from defeat, driving away the Quintesson threat. But the Matrix was lost, and energon stopped flowing. In his wisdom, Sentinel had the computer Vector Sigma create the cogless Mining caste, to make sure that energon could still be provided to the people of Cybertron, and implemented a caste system to make sure that energon is distributed in a way fair to all.
Orion is frustrated. If they could only find the Matrix, all would be well again. Everyone could be equal, with plenty of fuel for all. Unfortunately, archival guards find him. A chase ensues, the camera follows Orion and his pursuers across the gilded city, past richly decorated high-class bots, through a lower class district of lower caste mecha, and finally to the entrance to the deep mines. A silver miner, D-16, covers for Orion until the guards leave, and inquires if his friend learned anything. Orion admits he didnât discover anything new about the Matrix, but re-emphasizes that if the Matrix could just be found, and given to Sentinel Prime, everything would be well again. D-16 chastises Orion for risking his aft on a dumb chase. The Matrix is a fairy-tale, nothing will change until the lower castes can prove they are worth something. Only they will be able to change their own fates.
Deep in the mines, dimly lit, we see where the miners live. In racks, closely spaced, with no privacy or space of their own. They report to work, Orion and D-16 running to ensure they arenât late. Their supervisor, Elite-1, chastises them for running behind, and sternly tells them she wonât take the fall for their fuckups. They head into the latest adit, marching into the darkness. Tools flash as they begin to dig into the rough metal of deep Cybertron, searching for glimmers of raw energon ore.
One miner (Wheeljack) notes an unusually strong energon signature, and the miners become excited that they might break quota for the day. Elita is especially excited. If they can exceed their quote, she might be rewarded. Even, moved up a caste if they work hard enough.
The vein is unstable, however, and the adit begins to dangerously collapse. Everyone begins to evacuate, with Elita barking orders over the comm. Jazz stumbles, and falling ore traps his leg. Orion immediately stops and begins trying to free his companion. Elita commands him to evac, but he refuses. Even if he dies, risking his life would be worth it if he can save even one more. D-16 turns back, and with his assistance, Jazz is freed and the three escape. (Barely). Elita is blamed for the collapse, and knocked down to garbage duty. Furious, she is dragged off.
Jazz lost his leg and the supervisors decide heâs not worth the extra parts to have it replaced. Orion and D-16 protest. Orion tries to appeal to their better nature, not to sentence their fellow Cybertronian to an unpleasant death for lack of function. D-16 is accusatory, that the upper classes donât give a slag about the cogless even though replacement legs arenât that expensive.
Orion proposes breaking into medical storage that night, to steal parts for Jazz. D-16 goes along, and the two manage to get the replacement but not without being caught due to a blunder on Orionâs part. Jazz thanks them profusely for the effort, even as the two are sentenced to half-rations and double-shifts. D-16 grumbles at Orion for messing up their plan.
The next day, a public announcement is made by Sentinel Prime. The highest castes see him in person, everyone else by vidscreen. Everyone kowtows before him, giving a ritual greeting before listening to his message. Sentinel has been to the surface, making the dangerous journey to search for Quintesson patrols and signs of other Cybertronians. He sadly claims that the other former cities of Cybertron show no signs of life with the exception of Tarn, where the planetary defenses are and thus where much of their energon goes, and the Matrix is still missing, but he did fight off a Quintesson warship and their people are free for another day. The next day will be a city-wide holiday, during which a great Primal contest will be held. All castes are invited to watch, while only racing-class, intellectual-class, and class-exempt mecha may compete.
Orion is excited for the contest, D-16 accusatory. The contest is just a way for the noble-classes to show off, why enjoy it? Orion counters that they shouldnât watch it, they should enter it. If they compete, they can show people that the cogless are worth something. Even if they donât win. And if they do win, they can be reclassified alt-mode exempt. Do whatever they want, perform whatever job they please, enter any building in the city.
D-16 complains that, as they don't have alt-modes, they can't become "alt mod exempt" but Orion protests that the rules apply to everyone. The nobles can't just deny them this because they're miners. Besides, then they can speak to Sentinel Prime himself to ask for better treatment and medical help for their caste. D-16 canât help but agree, itâs a crazy idea. But just maybe, it could work.
The competition is a mixture of intellectual puzzles, fighting, sharpshooting, and racing. It is meant to show that the Cybertronian people can fight the Quintesson threat, now made into a festival. D-16 and Orion crash the starting line and starts working their way through the crazy obstacle course. They struggle, but by working together and combining their respective skills, they manage to keep going. Orion excels in problem solving, D-16 in fighting. We see flashbacks of them using those respective skills in the mines. There is a snafu at the shooting stage, as neither can transform, neither has in-built weaponry. But D-16 comes up with a mining laser and scores a smoking bullseye. They run on to the race.
Now, they canât help but fall behind. They are on pede, with no wheels or wings. They hop across other racers, gaining their ire and making several racers change their focus from winning to killing the miners. Using this against them, D-16 and Orion manage to continue to gain ground, taking out several racers in the process. But when Orion is injured, D-16 turns to help him, and the other racers roar past to the finish. Orion and D-16 DNF.
In the medical wing, the two bicker, only to be silenced when Sentinel Prime comes to see them. Orion immediately kowtows, awed by the sight of their god. D-16 grumbles a little, but half-heartedly follows his friendâs lead. Sentinel compliments their efforts, and says theyâve inspired their fellow miners to work even harder than before. Orion attempts to make a plea to better the conditions for his caste, but is brushed off. Sentinel leaves, and the two grumble in frustration. Then, one of the racers they sabotaged earlier bursts in and grabs the pair, dumping them down the nearest garbage chute to the great smelters beneath the city.
Popping out of the chute many stories down, D-16 and Orion are greeted by a little yellow bot who introduces himself as B127, or just B. Heâs been sentenced to garbage duty, sorting trash for possible valuables, due to his incessant talking pissing off his supervisors. B is excited to show off his collection to the first new mecha heâs seen in ages. Heâs spent much of his time pulling interesting junk from the conveyor, and is able to point out random crap as actually being antiques of dubious usability. B127 appears to know a lot about ancient history, more than even Orion, who questions where he's learned this. B reveals that someone has been dumping archival items into the garbage chutes, some of which he saves. One item he shows is a vidmessage, which briefly shows an incredibly fuzzy clip of Alpha Trion before the image breaks. B says itâs the only person heâs been able to talk to in ages.
Fascinated by the image of one of the Great Primes, Orion takes the vidmessage and is able to coax it into showing itâs entire message. Itâs an SOS, sent out to the Primesguard in the moments before the Primes fell. A set of coordinates is included. Orion gasps. The coordinates arenât far from Iacon and, just perhaps, where the Primes fell is where the Matrix fell too.
D-16 is skeptical at going to the surface to quest for a quasi-mythical item, but as usual, Orion is persuasive and convinces D-16 with images of a better life and better Cybertron. B is happy to go along, eager to escape the underlevels.
The trio make it to a first-level train station, where trains are being loaded. One of trash, headed to underlevels, one of energon, headed to the surface for Tarn. While sneaking into the surface train, Elita, loading garbage onto the trash train, follows them with the intent of catching the interlopers and turning them in. She gets trapped in the train alongside them, however, and ends up on the surface with the trio. Once again, Orion is persuasive, explaining their quest, and Elita, with no way of returning below once they are tossed from the train, reluctantly joins.
As they dodge the shifting, seemingly malicious landscape, a Quintesson warship decends and they flee into ruins to escape it. It is quipped âWhereâs Sentinel Prime when you need him?â and they also wonder why the planetary defenses arenât doing anything about the ship. They send a brief prayer to the Primes for their deliverance before continuing on.
Locating the coordinates of the message, they discover the cave containing the bodies of the Primes. Walking through the space, they name every one of the deactivated frames. Until they find a Prime they do not recognize, with a strange mask for a face. Why are there 13 bodies in the cave? Sentinel Prime is still alive, there should only be 12 dead primes. But no, there are 13.
It is realized that Alpha Trionâs spark is still slowly spinning, and he is reactivated. He explains that Sentinel is no Prime, he was, in fact, the head of the Primesguard in charge of fighting the Quintesson threat alongside the Primes. He lured the 13 to this cavern, to a Quintesson ambush. The mystery Prime, Megatronus, threw himself into battle to try and protect his fellow Primes, but all fell. Megatronus last, cursing Sentinel with his last breath. D-16 shares a significant camera frame with the offline frame of Megatronus, as he wonders over the Prime who fought so bravely, and snarled so harshly, before Sentinel erased his name from history.
It is revealed that all Cybertronians are born with transformation cogs, thus, the âcoglessâ class must have had theirs removed. Orion expresses disbelief, Sentinel created their people specifically to mine and they donât need cogs for that. Every form has a function. Every Cybertronian is a cog in the machine.
Alpha Trion scoffs. No one is born into a function or task. They are Transformers, free to choose their own path. If Sentinel called them, he had their cogs ripped from their newborn bodies. Mining isnât a destined job, as with the Matrix, energon flows free for all. But the Matrix dissolved in Sentinelâs hands when he ripped it from Primaâs chest, unwilling to be in the hands of a false Prime. Â
Orion is in disbelief, shaken that theyâve been ruled by a false Prime and such an atrocity has been committed. D-16 is furious, and claims that he will kill Sentinel for this. There is protest from Elita and B, he calls them naive, just like Orion, for thinking they can just talk to Sentinel to fix all of Cybertronâs woes.
Alpha Trion gives cogs to the four. Prima, to Orion. Solus, to Elita. Micronus, to B. Liego Maximo, to D-16. He tells them the Primesguard may still be out there, they may be able to help. But then, the cave shakes. Outside, there is a Quintesson ship descending from the clouds. Thereâs a train on the surface, accompanied by Sentinel and his retinue. They expect to see a fight, but instead. The ship unloads Quintesson troopers, who begin to remove the supplies from the train. Energon, but also transformation cogs. Their transformation cogs. A high-caste Quint, with the rotating, changing faces, comes down to speak with Sentinel. The false Prime attempts to be haughty, but is put into his place and forced to grovel. The Quints are dissatisfied with the amount of energon provided, and the t-cogs are not enough to fuel their experiments. They demand more of both. Sentinel complains that if the Quints would just take care of the damn traitors on the surface that keep raiding the trains, they wouldnât have this problem, but the Quints wonât hear of it.
The four main characters are furious, and as the Quintessons leave, make a noise which attracts the attention of Sentinelâs guards. A fight and chase ensues. Alpha Trion is captured. The main cast transforms for the first time, and discovers they have in-built weapons. Itâs hard to tell if they manage to kill any of Sentinelâs guards, or just wound them, but B is shaken by the thought he may have killed someone. D-16 snorts. Donât feel bad, it was kill or be killed. You or him. Orion is more sympathetic, and tells B itâll be okay. The four think theyâre homefree, before being ambushed by unseen assailants and going into darkness.
Upon Awakening, they are in a darkly lit space full of vintage flight-frames. Clearly, these are the bandits that have been raiding the energon trains. B looks around and realizes who they are. Seekers. The former Primesguard.
Starscream sits on his throne before them, two unfamiliar mecha at his side. The 13 never respected their guards, going off on their own to fight Quints while leaving their guards to pick up the pieces behind them. Sentinel coerced their help in the betrayal (though they did not know the 13 would be killed), before casting them out as well rather than listen to them. He replaced his entire guard with sparkless drones who can never voice a dissenting opinion, save for his vizier Airachnid. Starscream thinks all Primes are liars and idiots, with no faith in any. Especially not the false Prime, Sentinel.
It is questioned who the other two mecha are. Shockwave, a scientist who realized that the energon supplies were not going to another settlement on Cybertron. Empurataâd and cast out for speaking out against Sentinel. Soundwave, an outlier cast out for protesting Functionism. There are others in the crowd, in the dark. Other Empuratas, other seekers, other outliers. The caste-less, the banished. The furious, and ready to burn down all of Cybertron.
D-16 is clearly enamored with this idea, even as Orion, B, and Elita are disturbed with the idea of violent revolution. D-16 stands, and claims that he will join them. No, he will lead them, because D-16 will follow anotherâs orders no more.
Starscream scoffs, that some young punk can think to order him, Starscream, around. A fight ensues, vicious and cruel. Insults are thrown. Orion begs D-16 to stop, but is shoved out of the way. D-16 has something to prove. Starscream realizes that this mech might just be the revolutionary they need, and encourages D-16 to be more violent, more vicious. He must shed any semblance of mercy to lead this rag-tag band of outlaws and former military.
An uneasy night is spent in the outlaw camp. D-16 is up late into the night, speaking with Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave, making plans. Orion attempts to stay, but canât handle what theyâre talking about, and sneaks up to the surface to see the stars for the first time in his life. B and Elita follow. Orion admits he feels like heâs failed as a friend, failed D-16. Failed his best friend. What can he do now? His every attempt to fix things has just ruined them further.
B protests quietly that Orion is not a bad friend. He is, in fact, the first friend that B has had in his life. Him not being able to save D-16 from his character arc does not make him a failure.
The emotional moment ends when there are lights in the sky. Prime drones descend, having picked up the trioâs spark signatures. Another fight, with D-16 accusing them of exposing their position by leaving the safety of the underground base. But then, he is captured, along with B and many of the outlaws.
Orion escapes along with Elita, but is crushed. Two of their friends are gone, theyâre wanted criminals, and they have no proof of anything theyâve seen. How will they ever get the Cybertronian people to see the truth?
D-16 and the others captured are in Sentinelâs palace. He mocks them. D-16 refuses to kneel, and talks back to Sentinel. The false Prime is surprised, and comments that itâs been a long time since anyone dared stand up to him. D-16 brings up Megatronus Prime, and what Sentinel did to him. Sentinel laughs, and reveals that he took Megatronusâ cog for his own, just as a last fuck you. D-16 snarls and threatens revenge, Sentinel is like âIf you love Megatronus so much, let me give you something to remember him forâ and carves the Primeâs sigil into D-16âs chest.
Orion goes back into the mines, to tell the miners what heâs discovered and convince his former caste-mates to join him in rising against the Prime. Theyâre skeptical, but Jazz vouches for him. Remembering Orion risking his life to save him, and then again to have him repaired. Orion has done more for the miners than the Prime ever has. They agree to be his army.
Elita has gotten the remainder of the outlaws on her side, and they crash Sentinelâs party. More fighting, with the people of Iacon watching in horror at the âtraitorsâ attacking their Prime.
Soundwave manages to get a video recording of Sentinelâs bragging, and is able to hijack the Iaconian broadcasting system. The people of Iacon reel in confusion, unsure if theyâre seeing the truth or lies.
As the miners and the outlaws fight off the seemingly endless army of Primedrones, the main fight spills onto a central plaza. In front of a statue of the 13 Primes holding up the Matrix. As D-16 seeks to murder Sentinel as painfully as possible, Orion is pleading with him to stop the violence and killing. Sentinel killed the 13, how does killing him make D-16 any better? He should live, so that he can be jailed, but D-16 disagrees. The false god needs death.
D-16âs death shot is blocked by Orion, devastating his body and sending him over the edge of a deep pit. D-16 lunges, and attempts to catch Orionâs hand. But his friend slips from his grasp, falling into the bottomless chasm. D-16 stands and mourns for a moment, before his fury reasserts himself. He shifts the blame for Orionâs death onto Sentinel. Sentinel is why his friend is dead, is why Cybertron is a pithole, why the Quintessons have not been chased off, as claimed, but are actually ruling the planet with Sentinel as their puppet. Taking their energon, and stealing their T-cogs. Soundwave is still broadcasting, sending these words across Iacon. Sentinel does not deny any of this.
Turning, D-16 sees the statue of the Primes and is now able to see how Megatronus was crudely reshaped into Sentinel. He demands to know why Sentinel killed him, killed all of them. Sentinel snarls that the 13 were idiots, Megatronus a dumb brute, and the entire planet wouldâve become slaves if they were allowed to lead the war. D-16 thinks âdumb bruteâ is amusing, and decides to claim the name Megatron, to bring the forgotten Prime back into public view and finally allow him to seek his revenge on Sentinel. The false Prime is ripped in half, his t-cog removed, and Megatron rises. The outlaws, with Starscream at the head, cheer for their near leader. Megatron announces that there will be no more Primes, no more castes. The Revolution is Now.
Meanwhile, Orionâs battered frame falls through Cybertron, parts visibly transforming out of the way to draw him deeper and deeper to Primusâ very spark. The matrix appears, and Optimus Prime rises.
When Optimus Prime appears on the surface, glowing with the power of Primus and the Matrix on display, an audible hush falls over Iacon. The miners are clearly in awe for their former friend, the former Primesguard nervous and snarling at the sight of a new Prime.
Megatron questions whether his friend will renounce the Primacy and join him in the revolution. Optimus denies. Cybertron needs its Prime, its true Prime. The revolution will be peaceful, they will work with the upper castes to change things for the better. Megatron is tired of waiting. Of talking. Of hoping and debating about a better life while doing nothing to make it happen.
They fight, a fight as brutal and terrible as anything. Especially because itâs two former friends, now on the opposite sides of the conflict. Megatron begins to lose, and demands that Optimus kill him. But again, Optimus canât. He canât resort to murder. He instead exiles Megatron, and all his allies, to the surface.
Energon flows again, new cogs are presented to the cogless, and Optimus promises to end the caste system. But first, they must drive off the Quintesson oppressors. Heâs sorry, but they must take their freedom and take their own destiny. While Megatron lurks, ready with his Decepticons, and goes searching for any other survivors which may still be hiding across the planet.

















