I'm 23, I live on a small island in the UK, I have lived here my whole life. I was a premature baby born at 28 weeks, I have a child of my own. I wasn’t ready to be a mother at 23 and on my own. I've worked at the same job for 7 years. I still live at home with my mum because I can't trust myself to leave home.  I was bullied throughout my middle and high school years. I suffer from depression and am medicated for it, if I don’t take it I'm a raging bitch (more than normal ;) )

   so a short paragraph on me. Done.

 I'm not going to be able to post much next week due to working. and I'm buying new software for my computer! hopefully no crappy slow internet connection. unfortunately id rather not spend what I've got to but it seriously needs fixing!

so Peace out

I'm tired of being skint, I want to be able to prove that I am good with my money, which is why I haven't moved out.  How am I supposed to run a household with a 9 month old baby ? I feel I am just making it now, I can cook, clean and look after a baby but to make sure bills etc are paid without not living like I'm used to is going to be hard but now it's time to really buckle down and change!!

How am I going to change?  and a way you can too…

What I have done is bought myself a box (a cheap one from card factory), I bought envelopes which can be reused each week so no wastage! an labelled each one.

Week 1.2.3.4 - These envelopes will contain my money for each week so I'm budgeting and limit to what is in these so there is no over spending.

Rent - Always important to separate rent money from your money otherwise you'll have a unhappy landlady (or in my case my mum)

Starbucks Card - Any top up card for anything set aside some money even if its £5 a week that’s £20 at the end of the month so you can still buy your morning coffees…(I Love my coffee)

Vouchers/Coupons - when you have stacks of vouchers and receipts that have money off you tend to lose them, keeping them all together  and separated from particular shops makes it easier to find for example boots vouchers, body shop vouchers etc.

Vinnie's Money - No no he's not a mobster he's my son I like to put money by so I can put it into his bank account so he has money when he is older.

Emergency Money - I think it's really important to have emergency money especially when you have a baby, this money is not to be used for those pretty shoes you've seen this is mostly for gas, electric or even if you ran out of milk!

I've even created a spreadsheet on excel (no paper wastage yay) be sure to back it up!

So place your box in a place where you'll always see it, I've placed mine on my desk. 

So the last couple of days I’ve been attempting to quit smoking. I will admit that I have failed the last couple of times but now I really need to kick it!

Why do I want to stop?

I want to mainly stop for my son and my health, I don’t really want my son around smokers and the fact that I started again after pregnancy and my excuse was stress to be honest I do not have that excuse any more. My health because recently my grandpa has gone through serious heart problems such as heart attack which resulted in a heart bypass and more recently a heart valve replacement so you can see why I want too.

What triggers me to smoke?

Stress. Depression. Boredom

These are my 3 triggers whenever I get stressed I immediately turn to a cigarette or if I haven’t got any food (but well get to that topic another day), and I just let my problems float away with the smoke but is really filling my lungs and blood stream with toxic fumes a good way to promote calmness? I don’t think so!

Depression has always been with me, when I get depressed I tend to smoke loads, I can get through a 20 pack in a day when normally that’ll last me a few days. Can smoking make me happy? Not Really.

Boredom… how can I be bored you say when you have a 9 month old at home and your working,  well let me tell you when you do the same thing every day it can get tedious. Get up, go to town, spend money, go home, have dinner, bed. I need structure I need something to focus on so that’s when I came up with this blog. And do I really want to fill the earth with cigarette butts? That birds will pick up for there nests and animals eating them

How am I going to quit?

I am going to do a 20 Detox no cigarettes. They say after 20 days it becomes a habit and I hope it does, I will keep you posted as the days go on.

Thanks