Recently i found out that the repetitive thought thing is called "echolagia" and perhaps its something I genuinely despise about my mental health lately
I have to play music very loud with noise cancelling headphones otherwise I will go into a loop. It can be a thought that is something as simple as "i will put this in my description" when im drawing, and then it just. Repeats. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.
It feels like im going genuinely mad. I try to breath in and out, to stop the thinking --- but it does not work. I will repeat it over and over and over and over and over again.
And then if it stops --- the inner narrator rears its ugly head and instructs me in everything I must do. You are going to type this out Aiden. You will look to the left where your pillow is. You will look back at the phone and keep typing.
And then something snaps me out of it and the repetitive words repeat over and over and over
Im drawing and writing a lot lately because it distracts me and everytime the arthritis Ive developed kicks in, I am once again back to the loop
