#earisu

There was a silence that shouldn’t have been there, but, Earisu knew how Zakkusu felt about her watching Gaia, he said there was “longing” in her eyes every time she looked down there, saying she looked almost envious of all those able to be around him. She could hear the steady breathing of the SOLDIER, and she concentrated on it, synching her breaths with his. It seemed like an eternity passed before he let out a long sigh, and she could picture him slumping his shoulders, shaking that head full of raven hair, those light blue hues of disappointment. He had said maybe he couldn’t keep her happy, no matter how much she had loved him first, and how much he loved her, and no matter how many times she denied those silly thoughts, he kept coming around to them. She could feel the emotions he had, could sense his every whim, almost read his mind for how well she knew him… And yet he told her she seemed to change every day, the mornings were a new adventure waiting to happen.  Although, as of late… She had been feeling something else from him.

She figured it to be jealousy, and maybe a twinge of guilt for leaving her. Was everyone feeling guilty about her? Why wouldn’t someone just say “It was her choice.” and get over it? People being sad made her feel a twinge of guilt, and she would rub it off with a sarcastic comment, something silly to make people chuckle. In reality, she wanted to scream, to cry, and to apologize every moment of everyday. She just couldn’t. She was gone, and there was no way for her to do that. “You really miss him, huh? Even though I’m here…? You’re crying again…” Earisu gasped, wiping her cheeks, shaking her head. “N-No! I’m sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…” Zakkusu was the only one she could apologize to, and she did it so often, she figured it must’ve become a reflex by now. Sighing heavily, the female closed her hues, her head hanging down as she just let the tears stream down her cheeks.

People were allowed to cry when they were sad, right? Or at least that was what Iflana had taught her before passing. And her adoptive mother had told her the same thing when she had told her about her husband not coming home. Earisu had said she was sorry for making her cry, that it wasn’t nice of her. The kind woman simply responded “Earisu, it’s ok to cry if you’re sad. Even if you hadn’t told me, I would’ve cried anyway.” That was when Earisu learned that death was a painful thing. When Iflana had passed right before her eyes, she wasn’t exactly sure how to feel. The planet told her it was ok, that Iflana would want her to smile, and she also heard it from Iflana herself. Being able to hear the planet and their people did have advantages that she couldn’t deny. She didn’t truly cry over anyone until Zakkusu’s passing, and eve then she would never admit it, she would tell Zakkusu he was dreaming, and her eyes were watering due to the fact she knew he did something stupid again. That was something they often laughed about.

  “You know… You could go back.” The voice behind her stated, and her eyes shot open, and expression of shock on her features. She had said she’d be back when it was all over, didn’t she? She had to go back for her mother’s Holy materia; it had to be retrieved, even though she had already used it to protect the planet once. Earisu blinked for a moment, and then shook her head, brunette tendrils rubbing themselves against damp cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out, only a look of sorrow and her mouth hanging open. She closed her mouth for a moment, and then took in a deep breath, slowly letting the air out of her lungs, or what was fabricated into lungs. “I don’t think they need that. They have to move on… right? You saw Kuraudo… He looked at peace when we saw him.”

  She looked back at the male, her brows furrowed. He had his gloved hands behind his back, leaning his weight on his right foot, his left foot on the tips of his toes. His expression was far away, his gaze not to her, although, she couldn’t blame him for it. Talk of the blonde always made him quiet. They were once friends, Zakkusu trusted him, and Earisu fell for him. It was a sick and twisted love triangle, and Earisu also knew Tifa to be somewhere in that triangle, but still continued to pursue him. “It was because he saw you.” His words hit like a ton of bricks. It sounded so quiet, so sad… Just like when he was dealing with the death of Angeal, and she turned back to Gaia, keeping her back to him. She was always hurting him, always making him not be the ‘hyperactive puppy’ Angeal had marked him as.  “Maybe not. Maybe he’s finally happy. Really and truly happy, you know?” A smile crept back upon her features as she thought this, and she chuckled.

As she placed her hands on the ground, about to stand up, Zakkusu placed a hand on her shoulder, holding her down, a bit too hard, but, Earisu shoved it off. “’Ris. Show me somethin’, would ya?” The male asked in a serious tone, and when she began turning her head to look at him, a brow arched, he interrupted her movement, “No! Don’t look back here.” She was a bit curious as to why, but she followed his order, no matter how much her mind was screaming at her to do otherwise. “Show me… how you were on that day?” He was talking about the day the Sefirosu clone took her life. “Oooooo-kay?” she drowned out, clasping her hands in front of her chest, her head bowed down, closing her eyes. After a few moments, she chuckled, about to move. “Are you happ---“ Her eyes popped open once more, wide as before, she looked down to see the blade through her chest, the blood pouring out once more.

  Her breathing became jagged, and she looked back to see Zakkusu had been replaced, replaced with a monster. His eyes were green slits, his hair white, but he had on his SOLDIER uniform, a wicked grin on his features. “Zakk.. usu…?” She choked out, and his smirk said all it had needed to say; she was not meant for the lifestream. Emerald hues fought to stay open, but all she could do was close them and fall forward, into another stream of darkness.

  --------- City of the Ancients ----------

  Falling… Falling… Everything was becoming heavy, having a feel to it. Falling from “heaven” wasn’t as peaceful as some may come to believe, and Earisu was living proof, or, reviving proof. She felt numb as her soul feel from the ‘green stream’, as she sometimes called it, thanks to everything being that neon color and all. Can’t… breathe… Breathe? Since when do dead people breathe—All at once, Earisu felt a surge of different things. Her soul seemed to crash into her remains, and as soon as they did, the flesh began regenerating itself, her organs all coming into place, all the fish in there seemed to swim away from her. Around her was a green glowing light, in which she could see through her now closed eyelids, her frayed and tattered clothes expanding as she began to be rebuilt into the woman once known as ‘The Last Remaining Ancient’.  Her fingers began twitching, as did her legs. As her lungs began to form, the muscle forming over that, and lastly, the layer of skin of that, she knew what that constricting feeling was; her lungs wanted air, and fast.

  Opening her mouth, she felt the liquid tangle with her tongue, threatening to go into said lungs if she were to try and breathe. She had finally opened her eyes. Emerald hues saw the glow around her body as it finished regenerating, and slowly, the light faded. The pain was becoming unbearable, and she knew she had to get up to the light above her, to break the surface. Where was she? Where had they put her body? She couldn’t remember. All she knew was she could not die now. Not when she had just been given the chance to live again.

  Get up there! A voice in her head screamed, and out of instinct, a frail hand placed itself on a rock, her bare feet placed on the sandy bottom. She looked where her feet were, seeing her boots, they had been worn down by the water, but, she didn’t have time to get them, she needed to breathe; now. Looking back up, she gave herself a weak push up, not moving even an inch before sinking back down. Kuraudo! Her mind screamed, and she closed her eyes before re-opening them and pushing herself as hard as she could, feeling herself rising steadily. Reaching her arms up, she began tearing through the water, as fast as she could, and it seemed like it was taking forever just to even make out if she was closer than before.

“Ah!” Earisu gasped in a breath of air as she broke the surface, before sinking back down. No! Get up!She realized whose voice it was, the planet was calling to her. All those voices were telling her not to give up. Kicking her legs as hard as she could, and trying to dig through the water, she slowly found her head above the surface, now only because of the fact that she had a sandy floor under her bosom. Pushing herself as far as she could, her vision was hazy, her breaths were deep, and she was exhausted. Her limbs felt as if they weighed a thousand pounds when gravity had hit her. It’s a part of living. She told herself. Before, she felt as light as air, but now that she was spit back out into reality, everything was… Different. Soaked strands of hair stuck to exposed skin of her neck, face, arms… She could also feel the mud on the spot where her dress was ripped, from Sefirosu’s blade. Twice now.“Help…” She mouthed, not being able to get the words out as she choked, spitting out water that had been there for Gaia knows how long.