#earet

Ooooooooo

It could definitely work.

Eret is extremely suspicious of the gods sniffing around Foolish. It isn’t unheard of for old gods to take what they want from the newer gods, just because they can.

So every time Techno and Phil hang around Foolish, Eret is right there with him.

Eret and Foolish were lovers once upon a time a couple hundred years ago. But then Eret lost his memories and disappeared and they haven’t picked up where they left off. Both of them are too scared of losing each other to even bring up their past; Eret would rather spend eternity hiding his feelings than have Foolish be uncomfortable because he doesn’t return Eret’s feelings.

Eret makes it his mission to protect Foolish from the ancient gods that are circling him. So, naturally, Phil has Techno distract him (he lost rock, paper, scissors) so Phil can deliver a courting gift to foolish (that Foolish thinks is them just being nice).

Techno had never given Eret much thought beyond the fact that he was a monarch. But now he’s suddenly faced with a righteously pissed off and protective god of magic (when the fuck did Eret become a god?!) whose power has recently been unleashed after decades of being trapped and hidden.

Techno’s power is in fighting, not casting spells. He knows that of Eret decided to use his magic he wouldn’t stand a chance without Phil. So he starts a ‘good natured’ argument about the merits of blood sacrifices.

Eret, of course, has very strong opinions on this matter and promptly tells Techno that sacrifices of blood or life are barbaric and tacky.

When Phil returns, they’re still arguing about it and Techno waves him off, saying that he needs to prove Eret wrong first.

By the time Techno returns to the cabin, it’s dark outside and he looks mildly miffed because he wasn’t able to convince Eret that consuming blood of a consenting individual was a *perfectly normal* way to regenerate magic. He and Phil did it all the time!

(Techno loved it when Phil offered him energy like that. Loved being on his knees and lapping at the blood on his lover’s arm. How he felt Phil’s magic burn through him like soul fire when he drank just a little too much. Phil’s hand in his hair, guiding him to the cut he made.)

Eret’s amused but unimpressed face while Techno tried to argue his point wouldnt leave him. There was a distinct aura of confidence and power around him that wasn’t there when he didn’t have his memories and magic.

So he says he’s leaving. He throws his crown at Dream and finally tells him where he can shove it.

But Dream just smiles at him, “Did you really think that I would just let you go?”

Then Eret is surrounded by guards and they drag him off to his room and lock him in there. A pretty bird in a golden page.

So he sets out on destroying his cage. He takes a decorative sword to the curtains, the bedposts, desk, walls; anything he can do damage to. He uses a chunk of flint at the bottom of a chest to spark a fire on the sword’s blade and burns all the capes and finery he can get his hands on.

Until all he has left it a couple white shirts and black pants. He only hesitated a little when he throws the red fur trimmed cape into the flames.

By the time the guards see the smoke seeping from under the door, Eret has climbed down from the balcony and is sprinting through the courtyard.

He doesn’t get far. Eret gets tackled before he makes it halfway to the castle gates.

He wakes up in a room with bare walls and all the furniture nailed to the floor.

Back in the golden cage.

-

He makes speeches and smiles at the people with a knife pressed to his side . Every attempt to escape or even think about alerting anyone to the true nature of his position is met with bruises that can be hidden under clothes and threats to his life. The more he cooperates the more often he gets fed so he learns to be the puppet that he is.

As a reward for his good behavior, Dream gifts Eret new crowns and clothes and the privilege of talking to someone who isn’t a guard.

-

Everything changes when L’Manberg explodes and withers are set loose upon the land. Eret wished the same would happen to the rest of the SMP. He wanted to watch this stupid fucking castle burn to the ground with Dream inside it and stand in the ashes

That’s when Technoblade starts hanging around. He’s apparently one of Dream’s allies since he helped with the destruction of one of the greatest thorns in his side.

But Dream never let him get anywhere near Eret. Probably because of his propensity for slaughtering heads of state. Eret almost wished he would so he could be put out of his misery.

Every once in a while he and his entourage of guards would pass Technoblade and Dream arguing, sometimes goodnaturedly, sometimes on the verge of violence.

He didn’t think he imagined the way the self proclaimed Blood God’s eyes lingered on him, gaze unreadable.

It’s been almost a month since Technoblade started hanging around the castle when he’s finally left alone with him.

Dream runs off during a dinner with the three of them. Eret, as usual, hadn’t said a word throughout the whole thing. He never talked around anyone but Dream.

If he ever told them the truth, then the green bastard would just kill them. So what was the point of talking?

“Soooooo” Technoblade drawled, “How’s being the buddy of a tyrant going?”

Eret jolted when the guy addressed him directly, no one talked to him anymore. But he stayed silent. He’d heard it all. The people he met at the lavish balls and events he was forced to attend usually didn’t mince words.

They told him exactly what they thought about him and his supposed servitude to Dream.

“No comeback? No pretty speech? Aren’t you supposed to be a valiant leader?”

Eret snorted and looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time.

“What? Is something funny?”

“We both know how powerless I am. I’m sure Dream’s told you all about my escape attempts.”

Dream had no doubt bragged to his newfound friend and ally about how he had a lovely little king all locked up and compliant.

“Escape attempts? What, does he have you locked up in here?”

Eret just stared at him, blank faced. He had thought that Dream had told him everything but now he wasn’t so sure.

The joking grin fell off the warrior’s face.

“I’ve said too much.” Eret stood abruptly, “He might kill you if he finds out that you know. And I don’t want anymore blood on my hands.

“Guards! I want to go back to my room.”

“Wait-“

Eret leaves escorted by the ever present guards before Technoblade can get out more than a word.

Technoblade tries to talk to him after that, cornering him in hallways and rooms, but Eret refuses to talk to him. Dream didn’t like it when Eret talked to other people too much. Even those he saw as allies.

Eventually, Technoblade leaves the castle; off to do whatever he does when he’s not breathing down Eret’s neck. Things go back to normal.

Sort of.

It’s like talking about his imprisonment renewed a fire in him that hadn’t been lit in over a year. Slowly, Eret starts gathering things, a needle here, a decorative dagger there, until he has enough supplies to get him to the border of the kingdom. All of it safely tucked away in a whole he had cut in the bottom of his mattress.

He even snatches a shirt and some pants from an unfortunate servant who he felt a little guilty listening to searching frantically for their stuff.

-

Eret’s smarter this time. He doesn’t break a window or cause a ruckus. He dons the servant’s clothes and wears a brown cloak with a hood when he calls his only guard into his room and strangles him with a scarf.

Sucking up to Dream over the past couple weeks had paid off so there was only the one.

He’s just walked out the gates when the alarms are sounded and the guards shit them behind him. No one give him a second look. After all, what kind of king wears a commoners clothes?

-

Eret creeps out of the city in the cover of night and sets out on getting as far away as he can from the SMP. He gives L’Manberg a wide berth, they would probably turn him right back over to Dream.

By the third night of traveling, Eret is exhausted and in a snow biome. He hasn’t slept in days and he only has the threadbare cloak that he stole for warmth.

He can just barely see lights of a cabin of sorts ahead of him when he finally collapses from the cold and exhaustion.

Wilbur met them at a bar.

The shark-hybrid and the vampire were a very attractive couple.

The shark was tall from what Wilbur could see. He was muscular enough that his shirt was tight around his biceps and had tanned skin and green eyes that crinkled when he smiled. He was boisterous and cheerful and talked with his hands in a way that was dangerous to the drinks on the table.

The vampire moved with a kind of deadly grace that made something in Wilbur’s hindbrain stand to attention and yell ‘danger’. He was smaller than the shark but had a lean kind of strength to his build. Like he was built for speed and agility rather than brute force. His hair just brushed the tops of his shoulders and curled in a way that made Wil want to tuck it behind his ear.

But the most striking thing about the vampire was his eyes. Wilbur barely caught a glimpse of them when he adjusted the sunglasses he was wearing.

They were completely white and had a faint glow to them.

Wil tried his best not to stare but wasn’t very successful.

They held court in a booth in a corner, various people and creatures drifting in and out of their orbit. He thinks he even saw a demon laughing and chatting as the vampire leaned into the shark’s side.

Wilbur was, unfortunately, drinking alone. Techno had bailed because of an emergency involving his dog, Steve, eating a pair of his underwear. Like, swallowing them whole.

He had already ordered his drink when he started getting the frantic texts, so Wilbur figured that he might as well finish it before he went home.

His attention was drawn back to the couple by an explosion of laughter from their table. Mr. Shark had apparently knocked over his drink. Aaaaaand was coming over to the bar