I kind of am tired of those posts that say things along the lines of “you’re so young! You have all this life ahead of you! Think about what you will get to enjoy in the next 50 years!” Because… that’s not my life. Like, obviously I am happy for those that those posts are helpful to, and some things are just Not For Me and I respect that. But it still makes me sad to see posts that talk about how your life is still barely started in your 20s and 30s because that is not the case for me. My life is ending in my twenties. Maybe not in an actual, ‘I’m going to die’ sort of way (although I might, we just don’t know how unpredictable my body can be), but I have a severe muscular dystrophy. Almost everything I have enjoyed my whole life is becoming or has becoming inaccessible for me. I had to get rid of so many of my animals, I can’t really ride or take care of horses anymore, I lost both of my jobs that I loved, I can barely walk. My favorite stores are not accessible by wheelchair. I cannot be upright long enough to bake myself that “easy! Enjoy your life” loaf of bread, or cook myself fresh food. My diet is almost entirely microwaved. I cannot take myself on a walk for my mental health. I have to accept that soon I will not be able to walk at all anymore, to draw at all anymore, to sew, to dance, to sing. My vision is double and so watching tv is hard for me. It’s getting hard to hold up my handheld video games or my iPad. Eventually, I will not be able to turn myself over in bed and will need someone to rotate me every few hours, to help me use the bathroom, to bathe me. This post isn’t to say “Don’t make happy, encouraging posts” anymore but really more a vent. Maybe saying “other people will have different experiences.” You cannot act like everyone has the ability to better their life and look forward for the future. My body prohibits it.
