#dwarfish

Ah, nothing like a good fight, eh? A little rumble with some dastardly no-gooders to get the blood pumping. But, sometimes, JUST going into battle doesn’t exactly cut it. What you need then, my friend and dear reader, is insults. One thing is disliking some creature, and let’s be honest here; who doesn’t hate Goblins? But, a fight gets so much better, if you hurl a grand insult at their faces, before you thwart said faces. Few races are decent at insults, but if you truly wish to master the craft of boosting your own morale, and possible the morale of your mates, while at the same time, making a mockery out of whatever you’re facing; you want to learn from a Dwarf. And I, dear reader, happen to be just that, so here are some of the best Dwarven insults, for use in battle, meeting the step-parents or getting yourself locked up in the local jail. Also works well for tavern brawls.

When facing a smaller foe (this doesn’t happen often to a Dwarf, though the typical Goblin, for example, is both shorter and less stout than most Dwarves, quite fun to chop or smash though):

“Ya wee piece o’ gobshite!” Notice that “Gobshite” is an excellent meeting of two words; Goblin and Shite. If the comparison to actual shit from actual Goblins is made, it only gets much grander. “Someone dropped ya on ye head in birth? ‘cause ye head’s don’ a fallin’!” “If ya rolled down a mountain side, pebbles’d be jealous of ye!” “I’d bury ya corpse, but that little amount of diggin’ would be an insult to the ground.” “Ye insignificant wee rodent!” “Oi, I’m gon’ make ye even more wee!” When fighting a small enemy with a warhammer or other blunt weaponry. “How does the sole of me boot look? I’m ‘bout te show ya!” “Me fists’ bigger than ya ‘ead!”

When facing a taller foe (much more common for Dwarves):

“I’ll bring ye down te my size!” “How’s that ya call armor for ye knee-caps, eh?” “Put ya damned ugly face down here, I’ll pretty ya gunna up!” Gunna, is a nickname for something tall, “Gunbad” for example means “Tall Mountain”. ”Shoulda watched where ya steppin’!” “Ye gunna maileid!” “Mor amadan!” or “Mor oinseach!” or “Mor ballaigh!” “Ye gunna gobshite!” Here “gobshite” is used as comparison to Goblin shit, no one has ever seen a single Goblin’s shit actually be bigger than a Dwarf. And that’s not a bad thing.

Against Elves (note; most Elves ain’t directly foes, so you don’t really need to fight them... That doesn’t mean you can’t insult them, it’s worth noting that here’s a heavy use of Dwarfish language... And of course, you shouldn’t tell Elves about this):

“Socrach sìthiche!” “Ye clean-skinned clisgeadh!” “Damned drùidheachd!” Also fit for use against any foe using magic.

Against foes fighting at range:

“Ye cladhaire boghadair!” “Oi, knock off on the arrows, and git over here and fight!” “Stop ya cowardly hurtin’, I ain’t sum’ wee rabbit!” “Ya doilleir speach!”

Against natural creatures, such as wolves (also heavy on Dwarfish, as creatures rarely know that they’re being insulted):

“Figheadair! Spider! “Faol!” Wolf! "Mathan!” Bear! “Nathair!” Snake! “Radan!” Rat!

Against undead: