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Please tell me why I have a huge fear of being seen as average/generic to the point where I'm seeing ANY s/i with a red beret and I'm getting kinda pissed off.

Like.., now what tf makes me special if all of a sudden EVERYONE is doing this??? And it genuinely feels like I'm just now seeing all of this RECENTLY.

I hate when I feel likemy originality is being stolen. I really wish I had something that I'M known for, to the point I'm pretty much trying so hard to be different and appeal to people.

But then I'm seeing that someone else had this exact idea and I'm going into some sort of a freakout. /vvvneg

I wanna be seen as cool so bad.. Especially considering I already hate myself as it is, thinking I'm not special enough to be on this planet or that nobody likes me.

Is this a common neurodivergent feeling?? Is there any way to stop worrying about being seen as basic? /genq

My mom was going to come home from out of state on Mother's Day, and as a present I was going to shop and make her late mother's chili so she could come home from the road trip to her mom's chili one last time before we sell the house. Then she says "nvm I'm going to come home on Tuesday [while you're at work]." So I'm like okay, I won't be there so it won't be fresh but I guess I'll pick up the ingredients after work Monday and make it that night so it'll be in the fridge for her when she gets here. Then I get a text from her 10 minutes ago saying "changed my mind, I'm halfway there!"

Below is just some stupid personal stuff lmao

I've been struggling for years to upload stuff to the vast internet as it was overwhelming barrier for me, really a tremendous anxiety washed over me, making me overthink every little stupid dumb stuff (i blame my trauma lol). AI especially didn't make it easier to feel safe as a creative person and it made me think people would accuse me of using it or dumb stuff like that when i hate that shit lol

I've been doing art my entire life, I made original comics instead of studying and thanks to that my love for writing stories was also born; and I really wanted to write anything that people would enjoy.

I decided to change that this year, and as I watched the show I became obsessed over I just started uploading fanart, wondering what will happen, expecting nothing. Instead I received a lot of reaction.

And if you decided to read my sap little dumb post, I want to thank you all for supporting me with kind words, comments, silly tags, a small ask or even by liking my art or written comics. I love reading the stuff you decide to leave, I get so giddy I can't stop smiling.

I especially want to thank for liking my attempt at angsty comic, as this was my first seriously written stuff i did and published and was nervous if people would like it, connect with it. As that comic was also really personal as a person who struggled for so long with self-loathing (and still do) T~T that comic was fuckin self therapy and i tear up when i read it and think "I WROTE THAT OMG" and still don't believe it haha

If you need to take away something from this post, it's this: If you are an artist or writer struggling with anxiety over reaction of the community - Start uploading! Release your stuff into the world, even if only one person will like this, that was worth it!

Idk, is a dumb thing, but my heart aches with the lack of closure to certain stories, like, I still lie awake thinking of Undertale fanfiction I read almost 10 years ago