#duchessofc

Which, I know is probably my own fault, since I'm always the one who asks, "How high?" when he says, "Jump."  But the other night I texted him asking if he wanted to come over, and he decided that he couldn't because last time was too "kissy" and he "didn't want me to get the wrong idea."  The time he's talking about, by the way, was one time where we didn't even have sex, I just...performed other duties, so how that could have been "kissy" or romantic in any way is beyond me.  

Tonight I asked if he wanted to come over after work and he said maybe, and that he hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately and that's apparently become a concern of his.  There have been days when I or both of us have to be at work in the morning (and by morning I mean like, 10:45 at the earliest), and he'll come over and stay until like, 4 or 5.  Which I don't mind because it's worth it to me.  (Read:  Good sex.)  So we've done this a few times and he just now, just tonight decided that it's a problem.

Both of these decisions not to come over happened when I was the one who asked and initiated.  Which makes me think that it has nothing to do with "giving me the wrong idea" or sleeping.  It's because he only wants to eat pizza (I have no idea how that started or why we call it that, we just do) when it's convenient for him, or when it's not but he's decided that he'd rather eat pizza than get adequate sleep.

Anyway, it's annoying.  I know we have this whole FWB situation going on and that I shouldn't expect much from him, and I don't think I do.  I don't make him cuddle with me afterwards, I don't want him to like, update me on his every movement.  If he doesn't want to come over one night, it's not that weird.  Although last night he wasn't texting me and was giving me like, one-word answers when I texted him and today I was like, "What's up with that?"  So maybe he's afraid that I am expecting certain things from him...but I'm not!  It was just weird because we never talk like that!  And besides, I wasn't asking him to come over last night.  Anyway, the point is, is that I don't care that we're just FWBs and not like, a real thing.  I'm surprisingly okay with that.  I just don't like feeling like I'm up nights waiting for him to text me at 1am that he wants to come over and eat pizza.  

Maybe I'll withhold pizza next time he asks...but then I'm afraid that a) he won't ask again (which I know is stupid) and b) that's game playing and I shouldn't have to do that with him.