Jun 28, 2025
stand by me shitpost dump
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stand by me shitpost dump
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So since the Treehouse Gang donāt be DYING until theyāre like so old they just beg for the plug to be pulled, theyāre alive and well in the year of our lord two thousand and three. September 12. Teddy Duchamp, age 57, is lying face down in his bed, bawling his eyes out because Johnny Cash has died. His should-be-husband Vern Tessio is sitting in the living room downing three aspirins at once Because Folsom Prison Blues has been playing on repeat for the last several hours.
cuz they love to snuggle...
iām always so inspired by @michaels-cherry-chapstickā <3
bonus!
I think I acidentally started shipping Dunchessio. So here are some headcanons!
. Vern uses some of his allowance to buy glass cleaner because Teddy never cleans his glasses
. Teddy snapped and tried to fight Billy on Vernās behalf once. It didnāt end well but he tried.
.Vern isnāt as oblivious as people think. He noticed things he just never came to the right conclusion about them. For example, he noticed when Teddy became quiter around him,started making insults that made less sense than usual,and made less eye contact with him. But he came to the conclusion that Teddy was mad at him, which was far from the truth.
. Vern is great at loosing things and terrible at finding them. So most of the time he gives up on looking for things pretty quickly. One of the only exceptions to this is when Teddy lost his dog tags. Vern stayed out as late as he could every day looking for them. Even Teddy lost hope eventually But then after two weeks of looking,Vern finally found them.
. In return, Teddy surprised Vern by finding his jar of pennies. Mrs.Tessio thought she was going crazy because she kept hearing voices under the porch even when Vern was in the house but it was worth it.
. It was actually Vern who taught Teddy how to smoke. Vern didnāt do it but he watched Billy enough times to know how to. Teddy ended up having a coughing fit every time he tried and couldnāt ask Chris because he wouldāve given him the extremely hypocriticalādonāt do it,itās a terrible addictionā speech. Then one time Vern caught him trying to smoke in the tree house and even though he thought it was a bad idea he gave him advice.
.Teddy once teased Gordie on how close him and Chris were but Gordie just pointed out that itās the same for him and Vern. Teddy decided not to make that joke ever again.
take this quiz and Iāll tell you which stand by me ship you are (but actually I just analyse you as a human being)Ā
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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reddie is literally duchessio šæ
YES this is my favorite film. yes it comforts me. yes it discomforts me. yes I will never stop thanking rob reiner for everything. yes I have loved this film since I was 11. yes I have grown to love this film even more as a young adult. yes I am autistic and consider this film my special interest. yes if you don't like this film we can't be friends. yes whenever this film is mentioned it's the highlight of my day. yes I think it's one of the most beautiful films of all time. yes I think everyone should watch this film at least once. yes I somewhat believe this film helped me realize I'm trans. yes this film helped me realize I was abused as a child. yes this film made me check out other films I love. yes I have never related to a character more than teddy duchamp. yes I actually relate to all main four characters heavily. yes I have read the original story twice. yes I don't think the original story is as good as the film. yes I will probably still revisit the original story when wil wheaton's audiobook drops. yes if something reminds me of this film I will point it out. yes I want to throw hands with ace merrill. yes I still love ace merrill's character. yes I even love john cusack's character with under a minute of screentime. yes I do think the pie eating contest is actually a great scene. yes the academy is scared of me because I would've tried giving this film so many awards in 1987 if I was alive. yes I think all main four characters are queer. yes I have a shit ton of headcanons about this film. yes some of them make sense. yes some of them don't make sense at all. yes I have been rambling about this film for too long. no I don't care. and no I will never stop thinking, talking, or posting about this film.
the body gordie is like "uhhh does that mean me and chris went faggot? it would to most of our old friends, vern and teddy included." bro vern and teddy are certified boyfriends if they're saying you and chris went faggot that says a bit too much.