STAND BY ME

This is such a fun AU that I love fuckin around with but I haven’t really been writing that much for it which is sad but what can you do

• so I’ve deCIDED. That Teddy Duchamp is Mouth Devereaux’s uncle. Uncle Teddy.

• this fic would take place during the Goonies movie okay

• I like to think that Richard Chambers, being the stupid fucker that he is, made a big huge ultra mega incredibly dumb mistake and got some girlfriend of his pregnant and was like “well shit. Can’t do the responsible thing and better myself for this kid. Not as long as my name is EYEBALL CHAMBERS. No no no honey I’m gonna drop this thing off with my brother and his twink roommate”

• so that’s what he does. Leaves a kid in front of the door to Chris and Gordie’s apartment in NY with a note that says nothing but “don’t want it. Yours now. - Eyeball” and Chris is like “what in the everloving fuck”

• but Gordie is ecstatic???

• bro’s like “A BABY? FOR FREE??? WE ARE KEEPING HER CHRISTOPHER”

• the birth of Robyn(Bobby because Chris js despises “Robby” for some reason idk he’s a diva w names) Denise Chambers

• get it. Get it. Denise like Dennis Because Denny because Gordie’s dead brother

• anyways.

• IN A WORLD. WHERE DOROTHY LACHANCE DIVORCES HER FUCK KNUCKLE OF A HUSBAND IN THE YEAR 1985

• guess where she moves. Guess.

• like right outside the Goon Docks. Where it ain’t considered part of the town so her house don’t get torn down by what’s-his-fuck

• aNYWAYS. Bobby and her parents are helpin Grandma Lachance move and then she’s like “hey. I got a friend/extended family member that lives like five minutes from here” and tells her parents that she gon go find Mouth and they’re like “okay you do that”

• so begins the whole plot of Goonies but Bobby just does not wanna be there whatsoever

• she’s just like “holy fuck guys I just wanna leave what the hell” the ENTIRE TIME

• pulls the “my dad’s a lawyer” card when the Fratelli family literally be threatening their lives

• they’re like “you aren’t gonna make it out of here alive” or “we’re gonna kill you when we get to you” and Bobby just fuckin scoffs and is like “my dad is one of the best lawyers in New York. He’ll DESTROY your ass”

• city girl is NOT afraid to talk back to these ruthless criminals istg it’s a fatal personality trait

• best thing tho. The whole time, nobody else involved in this whole thing knows how Mouth and Bobby know each other. Like at all

• they just be talkin about ‘that one time five years ago’ and everyone’s like “if y’all ain’t related then what the fuck” because they’ve literally never met Bobby and Mouth’s lived in Astoria his literal entire life

• at the end of the movie when the kids are being reunited with their parents and family and all that, Bobby goes to her parents and our boy Michael Walsh flips his absolute shit because one of his all time favorite authors is this random chick’s father

• Mouth starts talking to Chris and Gordie and they’re all just catching up and Mikey’s hyperventilating because now one of his best friends somehow knows Gordon Lachance???? They’re just acting like old friends that haven’t seen each other in a couple months????