#drunk cat

“Cheers! To the return of the prodegel son!” No one else in the bar joined her, save for Wes who was also well into a drunken state. Raf groaned, poor guy fresh off two months of flight training was hoping to at least have a few hours to himself before needing to take care of his friends. “I don’ think ya know jus’ how muched you’re missed around here Raffy,” Cat slurs, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“I am fairly certain it is only you and Wes, Conejito,” he says, patting her hand.

“Someone’s gotta stop us from doing stupid,” Wes says with a smirk, finishing off the latest glass, “Lance here needs relief now and then.”

Cat nods, giving a small hum, “Exactly. Wess and I have, uhm,” she sets her drink down counting on her fingers, “I don’t know what would you say Wes? Two? Two brain cells.”

“More like one right now,” Raf mumbles, “If that.”

She shoots him a small glare, waving him off, “Jerkface.” 

“Think it’s about time to cut you off kid,” Lance says, plucking the glass from her hands, “Same with you boy,” Wes rolls his eyes when Lance points to him.

“Ha! You got called boy,” Cat teases.

“Cat,” Lance warns.

She holds her hands up, “Okay, okay. I’ll play nice.” A round of water is brought to them, Cat’s eyes fixating on the ice as she stirs, “Hey Lance, you wanna know something?” All three men pause, holding their breath, “I cannot understand why you’re, well at your age, still single.”

“You got a date in mind for him, Catnip,” Wes snorts.

Lance runs a hand down his face, “Look I appreciate you tryin’ kid, but-.”

“No, no. Hear me out,” she says, shaking her hand out when she slams it down on the table. “Lance, buddy, you-you are in like the prime of your life. You gotta jus’ be out there! Going out an’ getting some.”

“Oh no. I see where this is going,” Raf whispers.

Wes puts a finger to his lips, “Shh, jus’ let it happen, Raf.”

“So tonigh’ just go off and leave us. Go and get ya self a lady friend,” Cat leans more on the table, the structure wobbling beneath her, face growing serious, “and get laid.” Wes presses his lips together holding back the snickering as she continues. “I mean, come on Lan’e, just look at you,” she gestures up and down the older man’s body, “You came out here tonight looking ah-maze-ing! And! I might add, looking extremely, like off the charts DILF-y tonight, Lance.” Cat jumps back from the sprayed water Raf and Wes release with her words, most of the spray coming from Wes’ direction, “Wessy!”

The two younger men burst out into laughter, while a very quiet and slightly stunned Lance takes a deep breath closing his eyes. “In-in case,” Wes tries to whisper between his laughing, “In case you didn’t know, DILF stands for ‘Dad I’d like to-‘.”

“I know what it means, kid,” Lance hangs his head, “That term is older than you know.”

“I’m serious!” Cat pleads, facing Lance head on, “Cuss if I didn’t knows you, Lance, I’d wanna try and take you home.”

Raf leans over the table, hiding his face, shoulders shaking, “Fuck, am I glad I listened to you for once Wes.”

“Didn’t know she’d go an’ say that!”

“How-how many drinks has she had?” Raf asks before tallying them off silently, “Oh yeah she’s not gonna remember saying that tomorrow.”

“I’d rather none of us remember this,” Lance says with a sigh.

Cat stands suddenly, hand covering her mouth, “I gotta go.” Her beeline for the bathroom turns into more of an arc as she stumbles and knocks someone over, the door slamming behind her. Lance glances at Mary May who’s cleaning a glass shaking her head, At least you have the authority to make her clean it.

“Perfect, she start round two when she’s done,” Wes says, finishing the last of his water.

“Are you serious?” Raf asks, the laughter from his voice gone, “You’re going to just keep going?”

“Well it’s only eleven,” he holds the ice filled glass, “and I did just have some water.”

“That doesn’t count as being responsible.”

“Tomato, to-mah-to.” Wes drums his fingers a moment, eyes catching one of the security cameras in the corner, “Oh I think I can get a video of it for ol’ Catnip. Imma cop it should work.” Wes is out of his seat and at the bar before they can stop him, quickly calling over Mary May.

“God those two just,” Raf shakes his head.

“They’re drunk right now. Just having some fun,” Lance chuckles.

“Still can’t believe she said that to you.”

“Not the first time that’s happened,” Lance says with a shrug, Raf’s eyes going wide, “Sage’s wife said something similar while drunk on wine once.”

Raf gives a slow nod, “At least you can be a good sport about it all.”

Lance chuckles, “You regret those two meeting?”

The younger man gives a snort, “Not like I could have stopped it.” Raf finishes off the last of his drink, “Lord help this town should those two ever combine their genetics.”

“Hey what I have I told you!” The two men look up at Mary May’s shouting, “You can’t smoke in here!”

“I ain’t gonna smoke it! Just don’t wanna smell it,” Wes responds, disappearing into the bathroom.

Lance stands, pulling out his wallet, “An’ on that note, I’m gonna call it a night.”

“Wait,” Lance drops a few twenties on the table, “You’re leaving?”

“Yep,” he nods towards the bathroom, “Like the kid said, you’re my relief.”

“Lance, I know you claim yourself an old man but-.”

“Oh just a warning, Wes slipped last time he was made to help Cat.”

Raf groans, “You’re really just going to leave me alone with them?”

He gives a sharp nod putting on his jacket, “You’re turn. And that’s an order soldier.”

Lance turns on his heel to the door hearing Raf call out, “I’m higher rank you know!”