#drstephenstrange

             “Hello? Jade? Did you hear what I said?” Tony asked. He snapped his fingers in front of my face. I blinked at him, confusion most likely registering on my features.

           “I’m sorry. I’m afraid my mind was somewhere else. Could you repeat what you said?” I replied. Tony sighed.

           “I asked you if you minded Strange staying here for a few days?” My gaze shifted to the sorcerer standing by the doorway. He lifted his eyes to mine, making me turn back to focus on Tony.

           “No, I don’t mind. Is there a spare room available?” I asked. Tony winced and I knew what the next request would be. My stomach protested, doing circus acts as I realized what it was that he might want.

           “No. They’re not quite ready yet. You know, with all the renovations going on. Funny, how both the headquarters and the Sanctum are getting work done in the same week. Also, everyone else is here and that means no one will be willing to give up a room. I thought maybe-,”

           “It’s alright, Tony. I can stay at a hotel,” Stephen interrupted. He’d seen my fear and figured it wasn’t possible to stay with us.

           “It’d be easier if you stayed here in case Wong needs you. In case something happens that’s related to your work,” Tony said.

           “It’s cleat there’s no-,”

           “It’s fine. He can stay with me,” I interjected. In some ways Tony was right. Stephen needed to be close by in case of an emergency. Both men stared at me; Stephen in shock and Tony looked more concerned than anything. Stephen’s lips had also parted, drawing my attention. I still couldn’t look at him for long, turning away to wander to the kitchen for a drink.

           “Thanks, Jade,” Tony stated. I stopped mid-step, stiffening my body at the comment. Nodding, I continued on my way, trying to hold back tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

           “I’ll gather my things. Be back in a half hour,” I heard Stephen say, the door shutting behind him when he left.

             If you’re wondering who the mysterious person was in the heartbreaking moment, it’s really not hard to guess. Stephen Strange and I used to date. That moment took place three months ago; 1 month after our one-year anniversary. I thought we were happy. At least, I had been. Unknown to me, Stephen hadn’t been. All I wanted to do on that infamous day was to cuddle with him, maybe make-out a little. On my day off.

           The day before had been a fun one as well. We’d gone to the movies, had a little dinner, some wine, and had sex. Not the kind of sex that was quick and you move on to something else; the kind of sex you spend hours making foreplay leading up to bodies melding into one. He had been all smiles, all love; then something changed in one night.

           He was never cruel. He always shared what happened to be on his mind. He’d been hateful that day. Secretive. Stiff. He never even looked at me. Just threw me out. My heart shattering into a million pieces as the doors to the Sanctum shut in my face.

           When I returned to headquarters, I refused to talk to anyone; well, except for Tony. He held me all night as I cried, joined by Pepper later. I cried myself to sleep, and in the morning, he was still there, ready to cheer me up. Tony is the best friend anyone could ask for, dropping everything if someone needed his help.

           Tony was my best friend, apart from Pepper and Wanda. We met at an Avengers conference; my ability to help increase others’ strengths impressed him and he recruited me to be a part of the team. This ability also helped to wind someone down if they were restless and the rest of the team benefited well from it; Tony, especially. The next few years of saving the world flew by in a flash and before we knew it, another conference was held. It was there I met Stephen.

           Tony introduced me to him during cocktail hour. He knew I liked older guys; 16 years didn’t mean much to me. Stephen was 42, already contrasting to my age at 26. We were adults and somehow, I felt older than I looked. My hobbies of reading and scrapbooking didn’t help either. We shared a few drinks, hitting it off straight away. Eight months later, we started seeing each other to everyone’s delight.

           “Hey. Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Tony said. He placed a hand on my shoulder, making me jump at the sudden contact. Taking a deep breath, stalling the raging river of my tears once more, I turned to face him.

           “Yeah. It’s fine. No worries,” I responded. I put on the best fake smile I could, but Tony saw right through the façade.

           “Jade…Look, it’s not too late to tell him to find a hotel. You won’t have to see him. I know he hurt you and it would be okay for him to not be here while you’re still healing,”

           “No. Don’t do that. I’ll be okay. Really. If it gets to be too much, I’ll sleep on the couch or worst case, I’ll go to a hotel,”

           Tony’s brows furrowed, then softened as he took notice of something.

           “You still love him, don’t you? After he crushed your heart, you still yearn for him,” he stated. I meant to answer when the door opened, Stephen walking inside with a couple of bags.

           “I’m going to put my things away and then grab a bite to eat. Care to join me Tony? Jade?” he said.

           “I already ate. My room is-,”

           “Down the hall. The last one on the right. I remember,” he said, smiling. His lips curled downward and if I wasn’t mistaken, there was a twinge of sadness blending in with those bright blue eyes of his. I couldn’t meet those eyes, the painful memory still replaying itself in my head. All I could do was nod and wait for his footsteps to fade. I was on the brink of tears, Tony taking note of it at once.

           “Yes, I still love him. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop loving him. Too bad there’s nothing to get him to love me back,” I whispered. Tony sighed and pulled me to his room; first one on the hallway.

           “Listen to me. Let it go. Right now. Release you tears. Because if you don’t, you’re going to have a hard time holding back later. I won’t have him thinking you’re upset. If you want him back, erase this memory. Put on a brave face and relax into what’s about to happen in the next few days. Don’t let him see you cry,” he said, holding my shoulders.

           The bridge snapped and I couldn’t hide my emotions anymore. Tears poured from my eyes and I clutched Tony close to me. My sobs wracked my body and his. The best thing about Tony is that he wouldn’t let go of a hug until you were ready.

           “It’s alright. Let yourself cry as long as you need to. I’m here,” he told me.

              Somehow, we had moved to his bed, the sobs fading away; a calmness swept over me while I rested my head on Tony’s chest. Glancing up, I noticed the worry and concern etched on his face. My guess is he blamed himself for what happened between Stephen and me. He was the one that introduced us after all. He wanted to set us up because he thought we fit well together well. Stephen’s arrogance and narcissism mixed with my sarcasm and compassion. Tony thought I could bring out the vulnerable side to Stephen people rarely saw.

           I happened to do just that. The more time we spent together, the more he opened up. Stephen spent a lot of time pushing his friends away because he hadn’t wanted them to see him as a broken man. He’d been afraid to let them in; to care for him as friends do. He though all they wanted was the brilliant neurosurgeon and he couldn’t be that anymore. Stephen was used to being liked because before he could work miracles, the fame and money filling his ego, almost no one able to compel him to love. Christine Palmer had been close, so had I. I thought I’d be endgame but, obviously I wasn’t.

           The insecurity of his scars was something I hadn’t expected. He would move his hands away if dared to come to close to them, to cradle them in my own. He saw them as terrifying and I admired them. Eventually, he took pleasure in the feather light touches of my fingers on his, the delicate way I held them in mine; he loved to interlace them over and over again.

           “I’m sorry. If I had known your relationship would have ended horribly, I wouldn’t have set you two up,” Tony stated.

           “You couldn’t have known. He even shocked me. I thought he was happy. Obviously, there was something underneath all those smile that he wasn’t showing. I’m glad you set us up. He was…is the greatest love I’ve ever known. Except for you, but you’re more like a brother to me,” He nudged me, making me laugh.

           “You two appeared so much in love with each other. Did he ever say why he didn’t want you?” A knock at the door sounded. “Come in,” he said. Steve Rogers poked his head in, frowning when he saw me.

           “Everything alright? You look like you’ve been crying,” he greeted me.

           “Everything’s fine. What’s up?” I said. “We’re setting up for movie night if you want to join. It’s horror themed. I know you both love that kind of thing. But, uh, Jade. I’m sorry. The only seat left apart from Tony’s is next to Strange. I would be willing to switch with you if you want,” Steve responded.

           “I’ll sit next to him if you don’t mind. I’ve got to get used to him being here for the next few days. I can’t avoid Stephen forever, now can I?” I said. I appreciated what Steve was trying to do but decided to muster up enough courage to be near my former lover. Steve smiled and we followed him out to the living to join the others.

              Sitting next to Stephen wasn’t the problem, exactly. Being super close to him in the dark during movie night was. I tried not to inhale his scent, his cologne. A muskiness mixed in with the smell of old parchment and kindling from a fire. Tried not to notice the feel of our thighs pressed together; the soft material of his sweats rubbing against my skin each time he moved. It brought back pleasant memories and immediately I shoved them from my mind.

           I wanted to focus on the film, not on his light blue eyes which glistened a scene of the movie was bright enough to see them. Longed not to scan over his beard and hair wondering what it’d be like to run my fingers through them again. My gaze continued to drift over to him; a mistake because it distracted me from the film. When I forced myself to stop staring at Stephen, the next scene made me jump with the planned jump scare.

           I involuntarily grasped his leg; more accurately his upper thigh, too close to his cock. His muscles flexed against my palm and I heard a soft intake of breath from him. The motion had him glancing down at me from the corner of his eye. His gaze burned through me and I released him, lacing my hands together tight. I didn’t want it to occur again.

           “Are you okay? I didn’t think that scene was terrifying?” he whispered. He leaned down low enough as to not disturb the others. His breath passed over my ear – hot and minty – sending goosebumps over my arms. I nodded and continued to watch the rest of the film. Thankfully, I didn’t grab onto him again as the lights turned on once it was over. People yawned and we split up, venturing off to our separate rooms; all except Stephen and me of course.

              The walk to my room was silent. No spoken words were exchanged, no comment about what happened earlier, nothing. I opened the door and turned on the light to find the bed.

           “I’ll sleep on the left side. I remember you liked the right, so you can have it until you can return to the Sanctum,” I said, breaking the silence.

           “Alright,” Stephen climbed in on the right side, me on the left. I leaned across him to switch off the light, ignoring the way I brushed over his chest. Shifting down in the covers, I turned away from him muttering ‘good night’ before drifting off to sleep.

              During the middle of the night, I awoke from a dream involving an impossibility. In it, Stephen and I had gotten back together. He said he loved me. When I was awoke, I was astonished not to find tears running down my cheeks. I was startled, however, to find myself coiled around Stephen. One arm was across his waist, the other clinging to his arm. Both legs were tangled around both of his and worst of all, he held onto me, like old times.

           In my haste, to get off him, I pushed my body so hard I fell to the floor with a loud THUD. The noise caused Stephen to bolt straight up, peering down at me.

           “Jade? What happened? Did you fall off the bed?”

           “Yeah, trying to get untangled from you,”

           “You…wait, were we cuddling?”

           “I wouldn’t exactly call it that. More like I was coiled around you. Like-,” I stopped myself from saying anything else.

           “Old times. Does it bother you that much for us to cuddle? I’ve never minded. Even if it was platonic,” he finished. He smiled; I think he meant to flirt – the first in three months – and it made my blood boil at the sight of it.

           “Don’t. Don’t flirt with me,” I growled, standing up. He flinched, looking away from me.

           “Why? You love it when I flirt,”

           “Loved. Why, you ask? Because you’re the one who ended things between us. You’re the one who ripped my heart in two. Because it hurts too much to see you. To still not know why you didn’t want me,” I said. My voice cracked at the end of my sentence.

           “Jade, I…”

           “No. You don’t get to do that. Flirt. You don’t get to come back in my life and make me feel more love than I already do for you. Like you still love me. Because I know you don’t. You made it clear that day. And it makes it worse when I’m still in love with you,” I continued. Tears sprung from my eyes as I confessed this to him. He wrenched his body from the bed, walking over to me. Startled, I backed up as he continued forward until my back hit a wall. He slammed his hands against it, on either side of my head, his head hanging down.

           “Who said anything about me not loving you?” he asked.

           “You did. By-,”

           “I never said I didn’t love you. Only I didn’t want you. You want to know why I said those awful things to you? Why I ended our relationship? It’s because I do love you. My world was getting darker and I thought if I pushed you away, you’d be safe. From the very world trying to drown me. I know you’re and Avenger, but this power I have, it’s dangerous. Full of demons and entities that wish to hurt those I care about most. I didn’t want to lose you to them,”

           “I thought I could endure this life alone. Without you. But, I can’t. I still want you. I always have. Just like I’ve always been in love with you,” he said. His eyes flashed up at me and I watched as tears spilled down his cheeks.

           “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I left you alone. I’m sorry if I allowed you to think I didn’t love you or that I didn’t want you,”

           “Stephen…I wish you had told me. I don’t care if your work is dangerous. I’d go down fighting with you if I could. I love you and no demon or entity will stop me from doing that,” I told him. His eyes flitted back and forth before he pulled me hard against him, his lips latching onto mine. All the passion we shared flooded in; my fingers tangled in his hair as he lifted my hips to wrap around his waist. He carried us back to the bed, sitting down. I straddled his hips as we kissed. Pressing him down, I nibbled his bottom lip for entrance. I slipped in my tongue as his lips parted, entwining his own with mine; it only deepened our kiss, my hands now cradling his face. I moved my lips to his neck, Stephen moaning as I sucked on a sweet spot. Moving down, I lifted his shirt, Stephen sitting up to get it off him.

           I made quick work of removing his pants, stripping down myself, leaning back down to devour him. I rocked my soaked pussy against him, causing him to groan at the feel of it. Reaching down, I pumped his cock a few times, before sliding my entrance down onto it. We both let out a moan as I moved my hips, kissing him, our lips melding against each other. Our names rolled of each other’s tongues, our hands linking together. Passion exploded through our bodies, Stephen reaching his climax first, flipping me onto my back.

           He kept going until I reached my orgasm, rolling off me, and pulling my body into his arms.

           “I love you, Stephen,” I told him. He gazed into my eyes searching for something to say.

           “Marry me,” he said. I propped myself on my elbows, his hands moving to stroke my back.

           “Did you just ask me to marry you? After we had sex?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. He nodded.

           “Marry me, because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be parted from you ever. Marry me, because I love you,” he proposed again. I leaned down, kissing him, one hand pressed against his chest.