#drink boy

And I know they're all really looking forward to meeting her, and even though Lana knows about how I feel about him, she's all excited (as she has every right to be but I do secretly wish we were 16 and she would just have to hate the gf because I like drink boy). So I feel like a 6 year old because I'm getting left out of the thing I have no actual place in, but they're also all meeting drink boy's girlfriend, who he loves, and they're going to love her, and it's going to be the 3 couples and then I'll be like this hideous 7 wheel who's in love with one of the other wheels. 

And so I just really want to lay in my bed and die right now

So this is gonna be really religious-y so warning I guess if you’re really not into that? Also background info

Basically I was raised Baptist and all that but when I started college I did the whole classic freshman thing and took an intro to philosophy class and was ‘bye jesus’ and I was fine with that, like it never bothered me that I just stopped believing because I never felt attached to religion and god and all that.

But then I got here (Keele) and made a bunch of friends in the christian union and so I started going to cu services so I could spend time with them and it’s been weird for me (which you may remember from previous posts). But it’s kind of been getting to me a little, and then a few weeks ago Dan (the cu president) spoke at our late service and it was kind of amazing.

BUT TO THE ACTUAL STORY OF THE ACTUAL THING so me, Joe, and drink boy were talking and there is always like 2 people in the balcony praying during tea and toast and then someone (I think Flo) was like ‘are you guys going up’ and we were like sure so we went up. And I really didn’t know what we were supposed to be doing so I just let the guys talk and then Joe said a thing about christians being accepting or some such thing and that is just not at all what I experienced growing up like every kid my age that went to my church either ignored me or was a massive cunt and our youth leader never did shit about it and always made me feel excluded and so I just sorta started crying like I wasn’t making noises or anything it was just the silent tears thing and anyways after he was done talking drink boy must have noticed me wiping my eyes and so he came over and sat down next to me and was like ‘are you ok?’ and I said I was fine but I do not think that was convincing. So Joe came over and sat on my other side and just put his arm around me and just let me sit there for a while, and afterwards he asked if I wanted to talk about it and I said it was stupid and he said ‘I’m sure it’s not stupid’ and I’ve always liked Joe very much but I really didn’t think he would do something like that. And anyways I so I told them the thing and about how I actually stopped believing in god like 2 years ago and they both said they couldn’t believe anyone would ever not want to be friends with me because I’m cool and all these nice things that I don’t think I can ever make them understand how much it meant to me. And then they prayed for me and if that isn’t one of the nicest things a person can do for you then I don’t think you understand.

But then we were ushered downstairs because apparently they don’t really want groups of friends up there because they tend to just chat. After we got downstairs drink boy told us how uncertain he was about what he’s majoring in at school and we all talked about that and I tried to make him feel better about it.