#drew request

“I’m so sure this makeup is going to look terrible by the end of the day,” You laugh to Madison as the two of you finish getting ready in the mirror.

“Girl, don’t worry,” She squeezes your arm, “We’ll be in it together.”

You were wearing a bikini top and long flared trousers covered in tassels - the kind of outfit you’d decided on after a quick coachella outfits pinterest search. It was your first time going to Coachella after Madison had been set on you coming with her. You’d spent the morning getting ready in her hotel room and then you’d be going to the festival with Mariyah and Drew, meeting the rest of the cast there. You and Drew had been dating for the past four months but had kept it private since. You were always seen out in a group with the rest or not seen at all, so without the public displays of affection it was easy to just make things look like you were just friends. It was easier this way - no worry for the public eye watching you. You could just be together and be private and be happy with that.

“Are you ready to go baby?” Drew pokes his head around the frame of the bathroom door, “Shit, you look beautiful.”

You blush underneath your makeup, “Thanks handsome.”

He comes over to you and wraps his arms around you from behind, perching his head on your shoulders so that he can look at the two of you in the mirror. He’s wearing a t-shirt and a baggy pair of Carhartt trousers with a bandana tied around his neck.

“Ready to go out and pretend to not be a couple?” You joke, placing your hands over his around your waist.

“Oh I can’t wait,” He smirks, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck, “I’m getting really good at it.”

You hum and squeeze his hands, “Alright, let’s go Starkey.”

~~~

To say the festival was overwhelming would be an understatement. Everywhere you looked there was something new going on, someone new to see. You’ve met up with the rest of the cast now and it felt like a relief to be in a bubble of people that you knew so well. Drew was stood on the other side of the circle to you - with so many people around it felt like a better idea to avoid being seen constantly so close together. It might seem silly but you’d learnt to remember the little things that people could pick up on about your relationship.

“Okay I’m just saying there’s no way I’m missing Rosalia,” You shrug your shoulders, sipping down more of the drink in your hand.

“Are you kidding? That’s like the only reason you’re here isn’t it?” Austin laughs, running a hand over the sweat on his brow.

You frown a little over the top of your cup, “Obviously.”

It was burning hot here and you were sure it was making the alcohol go to your head much quicker, you could feel the buzz already and the day had barely even started.

“As long as we see Frank Ocean I’m happy,” Drew comments, looking over at you from the other side of the group, “I’ve said this a thousand times.”

You roll your eyes, “Of course we’re seeing Frank Ocean.”

Before you say anything more, you’re tapped on the shoulder and turn around to see a couple of girls coming over to you. You’re pretty sure they’re influencers of some kind but couldn’t exactly place them. Then again, wasn’t everyone here an influencer?

“Hi, (Y/N), we’re so sorry to interrupt but we just loved your new film, would it be okay for us to get a photo?” One of them smiles.

“Of course we can!” You grin, “Thanks for coming over!”

They speak to you a little about your new film and how they were so excited that the sequel had been announced.

“We literally started watching Outer Banks because you joined the cast,” One of them smiles, snapping a photo of the two of you.

“Well, I’m glad I could help,” You giggle, “You’re so sweet girls, thank you.”

“Oh, and also, you and Drew would be so cute together!” The other one squeals, before they both say their goodbyes and head off back into the mingling crowd.

You turn around back to your friends and rejoin the conversation.

“What did they say to you? I saw them looking at me,” Drew narrows his eyes in mock suspicion.

“Apparently we’d be cute together.”

“Really?” He raises his eyebrows, his face giving him the expression of pondering for a moment, “I don’t see it.”

“Me neither.”

~~~

It’s a good few hours later and… well, drinks just seem to go down easier at festivals don’t they? You hadn’t thought about it much but as the sun was starting to set and you were watching one of the later sets before curfew, you were starting to feel the buzz even more. Drew was too, and you could tell as he came over to you.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” He mumbles, dipping his head to rest on your shoulder.

“I think you might’ve mentioned it but a refresh couldn’t hurt,” You smirk, leaning your head into his.

Drew smiles lazily and turns his face towards you, kissing your neck longingly, “You’re beautiful.”

You hum, slightly ticklish against the touch, “Thank you handsome.”

With that, he puts a hand in your back pocket and turns you around to face him, his one hand catching your waist as his other still holds his cup of drink.

“Hi,” He grins, his eyes slightly glazed, just slightly.

“Hi,” You smile up at him as you put one hand on his shoulder, your opposite hand holding out your drink like his.

“I love this song,” He mumbles, not tearing his eyes away from you.

His hand guides your waist to sway with him, both of you moving in the same direction to the beat of the music. Drew mumbles along to the lyrics, his eyes brightening as he watches you dance with him. You don’t pay attention to everybody around you, or the hundreds of cameras all held up to the stage that could catch you. In this moment, the festival existed only for the two of you. His hand on your waist and yours up on his shoulder, your drinks threatening to spill over the lips of the cups. His head moves impossibly closer to you, singing along to the song as you do too.

With the start of the chorus, his hand finds yours on his shoulder and he holds it out to spin you, the tassels of your trousers twirling around as he pulls you back into him, hand back to your waist like a magnet.

And you’re sure the crowd has disappeared. It was him. It was you. It was dust kicking up and screaming choruses, it was kisses just inches away from happening and hands finding perfect place on bodies made for each other. It was everything.

The next song is slower and Drew turns you around to stand in front of him, his arms sliding underneath both of yours to wrap around you, drink still in one hand that he taps against yours in a cheers before taking another swig.

Drew sings the lyrics quietly as if meant for just your ears, swaying you back and forth as you lean your head back into his chest, breathing in the homely scent of him. You catch a glance of Austin and Madelyn stood next to you and they both clutch hands to their hearts jokingly as if you’re the perfect rom com couple.

“You two make me sick,” Austin nudges Drew’s arm and your boyfriend turns around to hit him back.

“Then be sick over Madelyn, not us,” Drew jokes, shooting a grin at his on-screen sister.

You lean back into him further, if even possible, and he tightens his hold around you, his chin perched on top of your head. You make mental note of the song - sure, in those minutes, that the conversation would come up in years to come and you’d suggest this exact song for your wedding. He’d hold you that night like he was doing now - like there was nobody else around.

~~~

You’re leaving the festival after curfew hits, thankful to be able to get away from the crowds as you follow the rest of the cast through VIP to get towards your waiting cars back to the hotel.

By now it’s late and there’s a chill running through the air. You’re walking with the group as Drew gets caught up talking to an old friend.

“He’ll catch up,” Austin rolls his eyes as the rest of you make your way out of the festival.

“I’m coming I’m coming I’m coming,” You hear from behind you, getting closer and closer as Drew’s feet pound on the dust, eventually catching up to you.

He wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you up, forcing you to squeal as your legs flail in front of you.

“Drew!” You exclaim, gripping onto him as he throws you over his shoulder, your face almost colliding with his back, “You’re going to drop me!”

“I’m not gonna drop ‘ya,” He laughs, gripping you tighter, “Just saving myself from you moaning about your feet hurting.”

The thing about being in the celebrity world was that, eventually, everyone was connected. Whether it was a friend of a friend who worked with another guy on a film ten years ago, or it was a neighbour’s neighbour - everyone eventually got to someone else. That’s how you’d met the majority of the people that you considered friends in the industry. You’d released your first album three years ago but it still felt like you were taking your first steps in being ‘famous’. Thankfully, you’d met some good people - Kelsea had become like a sister to you and she’d taken you under her wing instantly. Since she’d started dating Chase, too, she’d been introducing you to more and more people - notably, Drew. She knew that you two would hit it off when she introduced you at a party and you clicked almost instantly, spending the entire night talking in a booth away from the crowd. Since then, he texted you everyday, he’d become the guy you rang when you were walking home or in a taxi on your own, the one you texted to say a quick ‘home safe’. He sent you stupid videos he found online, and facetimed you to listen to him run his lines, or when he needed help with what to wear to an event. Drew was just… nice, you know?

“Okay, sorry, I’m back,” His face pops back into the frame of the facetime call as he sits back down on the couch and picks up his phone from where it was sat pointing up towards the ceiling, “My food arrived.”

“What did you order?” You ask, propping your phone up against the coffee machine on your counter so that you could open your own bag of takeout food.

“I went for chinese food,” He grins, pulling out the boxes of takeout.

“Me too,” You laugh, “But the good place was closed so I had to order from the kind of shitty one.”

“You hate the kind of shitty one, you’re going to eat the chicken and say that it’s a bit dry and that your rice doesn’t have enough flavor, and then you’re going to complain that your takeout night was ruined.”

You narrow your eyes at him through the screen, “That happened one time! How do you even remember that?”

Drew chuckles and sets his phone down so that he can eat, leaning it against the lamp beside his couch so that he’s still visible in the frame, “I remember things (Y/L/N).”

“Okay, which film did you choose?”

“Oh, I picked a terrible one, you’re going to love it. And I think if we try a few times we’ll be able to get the timing perfect this time.”

~~~

“Okay so what are we actually going to tonight?” You ask Kelsea, laying back against the cushions on her bed as she potters around the room, deciding on her outfit.

“It’s a party, I don’t know anything more than that,” She laughs, “It’s meant to be good though, it seems like everyone in LA is going.”

“I don’t like these things, they’re so stressful,” You grumble, pulling the hood of your hoodie up over your head.

“Well maybe if you started getting ready you’d feel more up for it a-“

She’s cut off by the sound of a key in the door, followed by two familiar voices laughing as they walk in. The pair round the corner and you’re met with the sight of Chase and Drew coming into the apartment.

“Hey honey,” Chase grins when he sees Kelsea, going over to kiss her quickly, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Hey (Y/N),” Drew wiggles his brows, slipping off his shoes and flopping down onto the bed next to you, he looks at you and puckers his lips exaggeratively.

“Grow up,” You roll your eyes, turning around so you can rest your head against his chest sideways, your legs dangling off the side of the bed as he stretches down the length of the mattress.

“(Y/N) I need you to talk some sense into Drew here,” Chase encourages, “He doesn’t want to come tonight.”

“I mean, I’m not up for it yet either,” You shrug, “I need like a shot or two and then I’ll be more in the mood to party.”

“Shots, okay, we can do shots,” Chase nods, “How about you two can start getting ready, and we’ll make dinner, and we’ll get some drinks. Sound good?”

“I didn’t agree to make dinner,” Drew points out, “Frankly I can’t think of anything worse.”

You reach a hand back to poke at his ribs and he flinches back from you, locking an arm around your neck and shoulders to trap you against him. He uses his other arm to tickle at your sides until you’re writhing underneath his touch.

“Drew!” You squeal, fighting to get away from him, your legs flailing.

Chase and Kelsea look at each other with a knowing expression, like they were watching the start of a film they already knew the ending to - a sort of inevitability that it seemed impossible to avoid.

~~~

You spend the next hour or two getting ready with Kelsea, changing your outfit three times before settling on one - a black crop top with spaghetti straps and a pair of wide leg black pants, heels underneath that were practically hidden by the excess length of the trousers.

“You guys ready to go? The uber’s here!” Chase calls out, knocking a couple of times on the door of the bedroom before poking it open just an inch or two before opening it fully, “Alright, good to go?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go,” Kelsea nods, smoothing her hands over her dress.

When she goes over to him, he wraps an arm around her and tells her she looks beautiful, kissing her shoulder. You follow behind and see Drew waiting for you as the other two leave just ahead.

“Well don’t you scrub up well,” He grins, reaching out his elbow for you to link an arm with his, still taller than you even with your heels on.

“Not so bad yourself, Starkey,” You laugh, holding your hand around his bent arm to help you walk with him.

“Okay, so, how long do we have to stay at this thing tonight?” Drew asks, stepping forward and reaching out a hand for you to take as you’re about to descend the stairs.

“Come on, it’ll be fine, at least we know a few people that will be there,” You point out, “Can’t be that bad.”

“You’ll be regretting saying that later, I promise,” He shakes his head, waving his hand a little more in front of you, “Come on, hurry up.”

He’s wearing a dark green button up shirt and black carpenter jeans, baggy around his legs. It seems to darken the features of his face, defining the freckles around his nose and cheeks, lessening the normal brightness in his eyes. His hair is growing out now from him shaving it for Outer Banks and you’re sure it gives him an innocence beyond what anyone else saw. You loved it most when it was messy, a hundred directions on his head, a sort of carelessness to it.

“Are you coming or what?”

It’s Chase that calls up from the bottom of the stairwell. And you realise for all of the time you’d been staring at Drew, admiring him, he’d been staring at you too.

~~~

The party is already busy when you arrive and there’s people queuing up outside to try to get in. Drew links arms with you as you get out of the car, like he’s constantly scared you’re on the brink of falling whenever you’re in heels. It’s in a club, already littered with tens too many bodies, and music that pounds from the walls, chatter drowned out by the noise.

“Let’s go get us some drinks,” Drew says into your ear and he moves his hand from your arm to press on the small of your back, guiding you in front of him as if he would shield you from the growing crowd behind.

You slip through non-existent gaps in the crowd until you eventually break through to the bar, waiting in the queue with Drew behind you. His hand falls to your waist, his body towering over you from behind and his eyes seemingly on full alert for everything and everyone around you.

“A tequila sprite and a rum and coke please,” You call over the bar to the server who nods at you with a smile, taking two glasses to prepare the drinks.

Drew shifts into the space beside you and leans his forearms on the bar, “Are you trying to get me-“

“Hey!” It’s a voice from beside him that interjects, a girl.

She’s about your age, you think, with makeup that you’re certain you couldn’t match even with the best products. She must be a model, and her outfit is like something straight from a runway. You’re suddenly aware of how itchy your top feels around your chest, and how your trousers don’t seem to be sitting in the right place on your waist anymore. But you ignore it, turning back to the bartender as he pours in the rest of your drink.

“Have we met before?” She asks to Drew, her hand falling to his upper arm.

He looks at her with a frown, “No, no, I don’t think so. I guess I would remember if we did.”

“Well, yours is a face I definitely wouldn’t forget,” She smiles in return, “Who did you come with tonight?”

“Just a few friends,” He returns.

You pause with the drinks glasses in your hand, suddenly hyperaware of how the condensation seems to scratch with the cold against your palms. A few friends. He wasn’t wrong. You and him were just friends, right?

“Well, maybe if your friends don’t mind you could come and dance with me,” The girl smiles, her hand not yet moving from his arm.

“Yeah, well, maybe I’ll see you around.”

With that, she disappears and Drew turns back in your direction, raising his eyebrows at you.

“Oh, um, here,” You clear your throat, stretching out an arm to give him his drink.

He takes it from you and smiles, taking a sip, “Alright, should we go find the other two?”

You nod and follow behind him in the crowd, he stretches an open hand back as if offering for you to take it but you pause before doing so. It was still undecided in your mind if that was a good thing or a bad thing that he’d been so completely nonchalant. Like that had just happened and it didn’t mean anything. Did it not mean anything because he wasn’t trying to flirt back? Or did it not mean anything because he didn’t think you should care if he was flirting?

After a second too long without your hold, Drew turns back to look for you, eyes flicking between you and his empty hand as if reminding you that he needed to know you were there. You place your hand in his palm and let his fingers wrap around you, not making any move to hold his hand back, just yet.

You meet up with Kelsea and Chase and end up on the dancefloor. Your drink is finished by now and so is another and another, and at some point you’d all done two rounds of shots. Drew is dancing beside you, his arm bumping yours as he moves, trying to make you laugh with every exaggerated dance, or every effort to shout the lyrics of every song he recognised.

At some point, a group of girls are dancing beside you and one of them reaches out to tap Drew on the shoulder. He turns around one another of the girls reaches a hand out for him to take, spinning herself around and starting to dance with him. Chase nudges you and points in that direction as if you hadn’t seen it in the first place, watching as Drew gets engulfed by the group, dancing with them as they laugh at his moves. Kelsea glances in your direction and her brows drop as if concerned, as if worried for your reaction. You force yourself to smile at her and tear your eyes away from Drew, taking a long sip of your drink.

This was silly. You couldn’t keep thinking about this. But the more you thought about not thinking it, the more you thought about it. And you found yourself looking to the group of girls more and more often. They were all in different dresses, and you were sure you recognised their faces from the TikToks that could come up on your for you page of ‘get ready with me’ videos or ‘get dressed with me to go to…’ videos, another two of them you’ve seen at a fashion week before. They’re gorgeous. Their makeup still looks pristine even after hours of being in this hot club. And you’re suddenly aware of how yours is starting to feel more obvious on your face, how your foundation probably doesn’t look as good as it did when you left. How the curl of your lashes has probably dropped by now, your lipgloss non existent. You’re thinking of everything.

When you look back again, Drew’s leaning down to the height of one of the girls so that she can speak into his ear. He laughs at something she’s said and pulls away slightly, his eyes catching yours as his gaze flicks away from her. He smiles but you find yourself looking away before you can think to smile back, feeling slightly less comfortable amongst the party of unknown people.

~~~

You’d stayed at Kelsea’s that night, sleeping in her spare room, and you’re up before she is, a cup of coffee in hand as you’re sat on her balcony.

“Hey, honey,” Her voice cuts in as you’re halfway through your cup of coffee, “How long have you been up?”

“Not long, the pot’s still full if you want some,” You smile, tucking your feet underneath you on the chair.

“I’ll grab some in a minute,” Kelsea responds, sitting down on the other chair, “So, how are you doing after last night?”

You look at her and ponder giving a dismissive response but her face is too genuine to try and lie to, “I- I don’t know how to feel.”

“Okay, well I’m just going to start this by saying you’re allowed to feel upset, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t know if I am though Kels, like me and Drew are just friends - why would I think that I have any place to feel any type of way about him and girls from clubs, you know?” You shake your head, taking a sip of your coffee to stop your bottom lip from trembling, “I just… me and him… I’ve never seen him with girls like that, so I didn’t know what to think.”

Kelsea nods, knowing to let you speak before she says her piece.

“I know we’re friends, and that’s fine. But I just saw those girls and I saw the way they were with him and they looked so… and they had this like confidence and they just…” You take in a shaky breath, “I’m not them. I’m not going to be them.”

“Oh honey!” Kelsea comes off from her chair and crouches in front of you, her hands on your knees, “(Y/N) you don’t need to be them. Drew doesn’t want you to be them. Do you know that? I see the way he is with you, the way he talks about you, that’s not the way you talk about someone if you’re just friends. Those girls, the club, last night, they were coming up to him, he wanted to be with you. I know he did.”

You want to believe her. But even the mention of his name forces the thoughts of last night back into your head, cycling through them like snapshot images, each one a little clearer and stinging just a little more.

“I’ll be okay,” You reach one of your hands down to squeeze Kelsea’s, “It was just one night. It’s okay.”

She furrows her brows and rubs her thumb over your knee, “Alright, I’m going to go and wake Chase up before he’s late for his press stuff.”

Kelsea disappears back inside and you sip down the rest of your coffee, drawing your legs up to your chest and trying to breathe out the tightness between your lungs, blinking away the blur of tears from your eyes.

~~~

It’s a day later when you realise you can only go so long avoiding Drew - perhaps less time than you’d originally thought that it would take. He had texted you a bunch yesterday, originally a good morning text, then turning into a couple of videos he thought were funny, ending the video string with one about when ‘the one person you speak to doesn’t reply’. By the night, he sent you one message saying that he was starting to get worried now that you hadn’t replied, and that he just wanted to check if you were okay. Today, he had called you in the morning and then followed up from his other text saying he was probably just being stupid but he wanted to make sure you were good. You reply with a simple;

Just been busy, got studio sessions coming up. Speak soon

You debate sending a heart at the end but delete it before pressing send. He reads it straight away and responds;

Fuck me I’m just glad you’re alive, felt weird going more than a day without speaking to you!! Hope your studio sessions go well, superstar <;3

You like the message and lock your phone, the same tightness settling on your chest as you’d had at the club, as you’d had yesterday morning. Your breath turns shaky again and you try to ignore it.

The next few days go relatively the same - Drew texts you in the morning, sends you something that reminds you of him or tells you to listen to a song that he’s found. You reply a few hours later with a short response or just react to the message, not wanting conversations to carry on like they normally do.

Another couple of days in, he calls you as you’re leaving the gym and you wait for it to go to voicemail, listening to it as soon as the notification comes through.

“Hey, superstar. I wasn’t sure if I’d get through to you, but I’m guessing you’re busy, um, just calling to say… well, I don’t know what I’m calling to say. Just that I miss you, I mean it’s only been a few days but… I don’t know. Feels weird not talking to you, so call me when you get the chance, let’s make plans or something. Alright, I’ll leave you to… well, I don’t know what you’re doing, which is weird, it feels like I always know what’s going on with you… um … whatever, call me back, or don’t if you don’t want to, I don’t know I-“

It cuts off after that and you’re just met with the monotone voice of your voicemail asking if you want to repeat the message. You listen to it once, twice again, finding comfort in the sound of his voice for those digital seconds.

Your finger hovers over his contact as you think of calling him back but you shift it to the text button instead.

hey! sorry i didn’t get to my phone in time - just been busy with the new album so the days are just going too fast. not sure when i’ll be free, i’m sorry

He reads it instantly and the elipsis bubble appears to say he is typing, disappearing and then reappearing a couple of times.

i told you not to forget me when you were famous (y/l/n). I miss you!!!!

You bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying at the words, reluctant to try to come up with any response that would feel fitting.

speak soon !!

~~~

It’s another week later when Kelsea invites you over for dinner, one of those sort of ‘no isn’t an option’ invites. You turn up with a bottle of wine and she wraps you in a bear hug when she sees you, a hand on your shoulder before she lets you come into the apartment.

“What’s going on?” You frown, looking at the slightly panicked expression on her face.

“Okay, don’t be mad,” She winces, “But Chase didn’t realise you were coming tonight and Drew’s here before they go out for dinner with the cast. He’s been asking about you.”

You shrug your shoulders, shake your head, “No, it’s okay, don’t worry. We’re friends, it’s fine.”

She furrows her brows a little, “Are you sure?”

“Of course!” You force a smile that you’re certain is believable enough and she must believe you, leading the way into the kitchen where there’s already a dinner cooking on the stove.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Chase gets up as you walk in, hugging you quickly.

You hug him back and, over his shoulder, spot the sight of Drew standing from his chair at the kitchen island.

“Hey stranger!” He raises his brows, “Where’ve you been?”

“Just a busy couple of weeks,” You nod, tightening your grip around the bottle of wine, “Been a bit M.I.A I guess.”

“Yeah, just a little,” He smiles softly, his eyes seeming to yearn for a little piece of you to come back to him, “Well it’s good to see you.”

You clear your throat, “You too.”

You try not to notice the way he watches you as you cross the kitchen, taking your jacket off and finding a bottle opener in the drawer to open the wine. You avoid eye contact when he watches your move to grab a glass from the shelf, pouring a portion of the liquid into the glass and swirling it around.

When you take a seat at the island, it’s the one furthest away from him. And when his eyes find yours then, it’s like they’re full of worry for his defeat - like this had just confirmed every thought that had been going through his head for the past week and a half. You, once again, find yourself trying to ignore the tightness in your chest, the way it restricts your breath as if he’s pulled it into him. Your eyes turn away from him as soon as you can force yourself to.

You’re just leaving Kelsea’s that night when you see the call come through. You’re almost a full bottle of wine in and it’s late as you’re descending the elevator to get to your Uber.

Your phone buzzes and your lowered inhibitions are the only reason you answer.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N),” His voice sounds slightly breathless on the other end of the phone, “You answered.”

“What’s happening Rafe?”

“Um…” He clears his throat and it crackles down the phone line, “Chase just said that Kelsea texted saying you were heading home. I figured you’d be getting a taxi.”

“I am,” You return, “I’m going down to it now.”

“I always call you when you’re getting a taxi.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “No, you don’t need to-“

“I always do (Y/N). We’ve known each other for seven months, and I always call when you’re in the taxi, why wouldn’t I?”

“Have you been drinking, Drew?”

“Have you?”

Both of you are silent.

“Is that the only reason you answered?” He asks and you’re sure you can hear a shake in the words.

You don’t respond.

“What’s going on, (Y/N)?” There’s definitely a shake now, somewhere close to a tremble, “Why does it feel like I’m losing you?”

“You’re not losing me I’ve just been b-“

“Don’t say you’ve been busy,” He quips, “You’re always busy, but you always make time. This isn’t that, this is different.”

You’re silent.

“Answer me (Y/N),” He doesn’t raise his voice, but the tension in his words seems heightened, harsher.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“I’m free now,” He responds, “I’ll be at yours in half an hour.”

It might be the remaining buzz of alcohol in your system, or the sight of your taxi driver turning into the road, your way home, to Drew, but you don’t think twice when you say;

“Okay.”

~~~

A painfully slow thirty minutes later, Drew buzzes your front door to come up to your flat. He lets himself in and you’re sat waiting as if counting the seconds of him ascending in the elevator. You’ve drank a bottle of water by now and the wait has seemed to sober you up quicker than usual. And then there’s a knock at your apartment door and you’re sure your heart stops as you open it.

He’s wearing a shirt that’s unbuttoned at the top, wrinkled around the bottom from where it had been tucked in but wasn’t anymore. He looks disheveled as if he’d rushed to get here before the minutes caught up with him, or perhaps before you changed your mind.

“Hi,”

“Hi,” He breathes out, “You look beautiful.”

You were wearing a baggy t-shirt that hung around your thighs, a pair of gym shorts underneath, your hair pulled back from your face in a bun with strands seeming to fall out on their own accord, no makeup on your face but your cheeks rosy from the wine in your system.

“Do you want to come in?”

He steps through your front door and you step past him to close it. Drew doesn’t make any effort to move further and neither do you. He’s just stood in your hallway looking at you and you’re stood with your back a few feet from the front door, somewhat feeling isolated now you knew he wasn’t leaving.

“What’s going on (Y/N)?” His shoulders drop as if he just needed to get the words off of his chest, a relief slipping over his features to finally say the words to your face.

“I-“ You take in a deep breath, “I just feel like things are weird between us.”

“They’re weird, yeah,” He scoffs, “They’re weird because you’ve been avoiding me.”

Drew laughs then and you find yourself letting out a little laugh too, the two of you gripping onto the pieces of normality that still remained.

“Did something happen at that party? Because I’ve been wracking my brain and that’s the last night I can remember where it felt like things were normal. And since then I’ve barely seen you. Did something happen? Did I do something? Did I say something?”

You shake your head and wrap your arms around yourself as if you’re cowering away from the idea of having to admit to anything.

“(Y/N)…”

“I hated it-“ You stop yourself, letting your thoughts gather, “We were at that party and I hated it. These girls were flocking to you and flirting with you and chatting to you and all I could think about was how much I hated it. Which is stupid because I have no reason to feel like that but I couldn’t help it and then I hated that I felt like that because I-“

“(Y/N), breathe,” Drew steps towards you, his hand reaching out and lacing with yours.

The contact seems to ground you, his eyes burning into your skin but somehow seeming to calm the raging fire of your nerves.

“I know I have no reason to be jealous, I know that, but I just,” You shake your head, “I was jealous.”

“You were jealous,” Drew returns, the corners of his mouth upturning with the slightest glimpse of brightness on his features.

“It’s stupid because I know we’re just friends and I know that I don’t want to lose that and-“

“You were jealous,” He’s really fighting back a smile now, but it seems to fight harder against him as his lips stretch into a grin.

You look up at him then, your eyes locking with his, you’re sure you forget how to breathe for just a second.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” His brows furrow for a second but he doesn’t seem to lose the joy on his face.

“I just-“ You look down again, “I didn’t want things to be weird between us, or for you to lie and say that you felt the same way.”

Drew moves his free hand up and presses a thumb underneath your chin, his index finger bending around the front to push your chin upwards, guiding your eyes towards him, guiding you back to him. His eyes are sincere, flicking between either of yours.

“It wouldn’t be a lie.”

You open your mouth and close it again, words catching on your tongue as you’re sure your whole body is going to freeze in this exact spot. Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad thing - to stay in this moment.

“But maybe next time you’re feeling jealous, just tell me. Does that sound good to you?” He dips his head just slightly, his fingers not moving from around your chin.

You laugh lightly and nod your head, “That sounds good.”

He chuckles and moves his hand around to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing over the skin, “And those girls? They’re not you.”

You feel your cheeks heat under his touch, his gaze, his words, “Not me?”

Drew shakes his head, “I don’t think anyone could come close,” He hums, dropping his head closer to you until his lips are just an inch from you, breath hot over your features.

In just a second, his lips press to yours, softly as if savouring the feeling of the first time. His hand moves from yours to instead drop to your hip, guiding you backwards until your back is flush against the door. With the contact, he deepens his kiss against your lips, his fingers slipping back into your hair.

When he pulls away, you’re both a little breathless against each other.

“God I’ve waited so long to do that,” He mumbles, pressing his forehead against yours, a smile crawling onto his lips.

“Next time please don’t wait so long,” You laugh, your arms moving to link your hands behind his neck.

“I don’t plan on it,” Drew smirks, dipping his head once again to kiss you, more sure of himself than before.

———

You knew as soon as you woke up that it wouldn’t be a good day. It was the second day of your period, meaning your hormones felt like they were all over the place, your torso was in constant pain from cramping, you had a headache that you couldn’t shake, you were hungry beyond what your normal food could satisfy, and you wanted to sleep and cry all at once. Typical, right?

Drew had already left, and he told you he’d be on set all day today. You’d be at home on your own on a day you really didn’t want to be. But that wasn’t his fault. You had to remind yourself of that.

You change into your baggiest pair of joggers and one of Drew’s hoodies, the clothes making you feel like you had shrunk into them. That’s all it feels like you have the energy to do, flopping down onto the couch and turning the TV on. It’s all the shitty programmes at this time, so you switch to Netflix and binge watch a show you’d seen five times already.

Drew texts you at five saying he’s going to be late coming home and asks if you want anything at the shop. You’d learnt already today that you had no good food in the house, so you ask him to pick up some snacks - though couldn’t make your mind up on exactly what you wanted. You drop your phone back onto the couch underneath you and turn back to the TV show, rewinding to watch the scene again.

~~~

An hour or so later, you hear Drew’s keys in the door, the rustle of a paper bag in his hand.

“Hey baby!” He calls out, “I got us dinner at the shop - I was thinking grilled chicken salad.”

You groan and turn your head into the pillow underneath you.

“Everything okay?” You can hear the frown in his words.

“I just thought we could order tonight,” You push yourself up to sit on the couch.

“Oh, well that’s okay, we can order, this stuff will last for tomorrow,” Drew nods, setting it down on the table in the kitchen before walking over to you in the lounge.

He bends down over the side of the couch to kiss you and you return the gesture quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Drew frowns, sitting down on the coffee table in front of you so that he could face you.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” You shake your head, “How was work?”

“It was good, pretty busy day actually. I was filming with the rest of the cast a lot today so it was so much more fun,” He smiles, “How was your day?”

Your stomach was grumbling and your eyes felt tired and you wanted to order a takeaway and go to bed. But your boyfriend was home and he’d bought you snacks and he was asking how your day was. And yet you couldn’t think of anything more than wanting to go to bed and shut off from the world for a day.

“It was fine.”

Drew frowns at you, resting a hand on your knee, his thumb brushing over the material of your joggers, “Have I done something wrong?”

You shake your head, “Just tired.”

“Alright, well let me order us some food, and you can pick the film we watch, do you want a drink or anything?”

“I hate picking the film, I never know what we should watch.”

He laughs and stands up, “Alright, you take my phone and order whatever food you want, I’ll put away the groceries and then pick the film. Is that a better deal?”

You nod and he hands you his phone from your pocket. It lights up with a photo of the two of you on holiday, on the beach. But all you can focus on is the way your body seems to feel so different now from the way it looked there, and it boils a new sense of irritation inside you - one you try to dismiss.

“They didn’t have the chips you like at the store so I got the other flavour instead,” Drew mentions as he empties out the grocery bags, stopping as he looks up to see you.

You’ve got the hood of his jumper tugged up around your head, like you’re disappearing inside the clothes, your hair poking out from either side around your face, your shoulders slumped.

He laughs gently, stepping around the kitchen island to see you, “You look adorable. C’mere.”

Drew envelopes his arms around you, his chin resting on your hair.

“Just having a bad day?” He asks, tightening his arms around you.

You hum in agreement against his chest, burying yourself into him, “I forgot the end of your phone number and it’s asking for it to order the food.”

Drew chuckles again, “Alright, it’s okay, I got it, how about we just watch The Office tonight?”

You nod and pull away from him, letting him press a soft kiss to your forehead before you go back to the couch, Drew watching behind you as you go.

He comes into the lounge a few minutes later, telling you that he’s ordered the food and that it shouldn’t be more than forty minutes. Your stomach grumbles at the thought of waiting. Drew outstretches an arm and you slip into his hold, your head resting against his lap. He smooths a hand over your hair, running his fingers through the strands and massaging your scalp.

The two of you stay like that until someone buzzes at the flat and Drew gets up to go and collect the food. He comes back with chinese takeaway boxes for the two of you and you sit on opposite sides of the couch to eat, your feet curled up underneath you.

You’re not sure why it comes over you so quickly, but it’s like as soon as you open it, the emotion simply overwhelms you.

“What? What is it? Did I do something wrong?” Drew frowns, setting his food down to divert his full attention to you.

You shake your head, tears filling over your eyes, trying your best to avoid them falling over your cheeks, “No, no, I’m fine.”

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Drew continues, his brows furrowing.

“I ordered the wrong rice,” You stare down at your food, a tear rolling over your cheek, “I wanted egg fried rice and I ordered the wrong one.”

Drew smiles, squeezing your thigh, “Take mine, I’ll have this one. Is that okay?”

You sniff and he swaps the boxes over like it’s nothing, leaning back into his seat and turning back to watch the TV. You carry on eating the rest of your takeout, it slowly starting to ease the clench of hunger in your stomach. Though, it doesn’t take long before you realise what episode of The Office is playing, the one where Pam’s certain she’s not enough for Jim - the scene always made you cry.

And today is no different. Your shoulders shake as you start to cry, your chopsticks left discarded in your half empty box of food as your vision blurs from the liquid pooling in them.

“Your food’s not good? They forgot part of your order?” Drew guesses, grabbing a tissue from the box on the coffee table and handing it over to you, “What’s happened?”

“It’s you,” You sniff, wiping your eyes with the tissue.

“What? I didn’t do anything,” Drew laughs a little, “I’m just breathing over here.”

“You picked this episode,” You sniff, “This always makes me cry.”

Drew laughs and sets your food boxes down, taking both of your hands and pulling you into him, wrapping his arms around you, “Okay, so I’m guessing this is about to be a bad few days instead of just a bad day. Do you need me to get you anything or do you have enough?”

“I have enough,” You mumble, tucking your head against him.

“Okay, that’s one good thing,” He runs a hand up and down your back, “How about we finish our food, we turn off the TV, I’ll get a hot water bottle ready for you, and we can just stay in bed. I’ve got tomorrow off too so we don’t even need to worry about getting up.”

You nod against his chest and feel him tighten his hold around you, pushing back the hood over your hair to kiss you a few times, again and again until you’re laughing in his arms.

“There she is,” Drew grins as you pull away from him enough to look up, “Feeling a bit better?”

You nod again and kiss him quickly, moving your head to rest against his shoulder instead.

~~~

“I’m just saying if you learnt your lines earlier you wouldn’t have to get up so early every morning,” You point out to Drew as the two of you get out of the car.

He comes over to your side and takes your hand quickly, “And where would be the fun in that?”

“Well it would stop you from making so much noise around the flat before the sun is even up,” You point out, the two of you diverting towards where the rest of the cast were.

“Good morning all,” Drew smiles to the group as they’re all sat around the table with their morning coffees.

They all look up at you simultaneously and offer tired waves.

“You have way too much energy in the morning,” Jonathan grumbles, stifling a yawn.

You laugh and take one of the spare seats, Drew sitting down beside you and slinging an arm over the back of your chair, “Well, it’s not morning for him when he’s been up since 4am.”

The group go on chatting about something and you watch Drew pull away from you in his chair, pausing momentarily before sneezing loudly.

“You okay babe?” You frown at him as he sneezes again.

“Yeah, yeah,” Drew gives you a small smile, “Must just be allergies or something.”

He must see the uncertainty on your face but he smiles again, nodding his head at you like convincing you to believe him before he turns to the rest of the group and fits back into their conversation.

~~~

You’re just finishing up a scene when you realise that you haven’t seen Drew around, normally catching him behind the camera watching you act whenever he got the chance. After asking around a few times, you head up towards his trailer, knocking on the door until you get concerned at the long wait. Eventually, you let yourself in.

On the sofa that stretched across one wall, Drew is squashed between the armrests, a cushion underneath his head and his eyes shut, chest rising and falling with faint snores.

“Drew?” You frown, crouching down in front of him and running a hand over his face.

He jumps awake just a little, relaxing when he realises it’s you in front of him.

“You fell asleep?” You frown, scanning his features.

He groans and tries to push up to prop himself up, “Yeah, I must’ve done, I thought I just needed to rest my eyes.”

You press the back of your hand against his forehead to check his temperature and realise your frown deepens instantly, “Babe you’re burning up.”

“No, no, I’m okay,” He nods, “It’s just because I woke up early, that’s all.”

Before you can say anything, there’s a knock at his door followed with a call out to tell Drew that he was needed on set. You look between the door of the trailer and him.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go to set?” You say, the worry seeping into your words.

“Of course I am,” Drew smiles, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, “Don’t you worry about me, darling.”

With that, he disappears out of the trailer and you’re left not completely convinced as you try your best to believe him.

~~~

Now that you’ve got a break, you go down to set to watch Drew’s scene, where he was filming a Rafe and Barry shot. He always seemed to look so different when he was in character. But something seemed off today - like neither him or Rafe was completely there. He pinches a hand over his eyes as he messes up another line.

“I’m sorry can I-“ He pauses for a moment, inhaling quickly before sneezing once, twice again.

“Are you okay Drew? Do we need to take a minute?”

“I’m good, sorry, I think it’s just allergies,” He nods, his nose now red and his cheeks flushed too.

He drags a hand over his face and lets out a groan, his shoulders slumping a little like he’s struggling to hold himself up.

“I just need a few mi-“ He starts to walk off of set, and as he does, hits into the stand of the overhead microphone, the end of the metal pole hitting into his ribs harshly.

The contact makes him double over slightly, groaning even louder as he clutches a hand to his side.

“Oh my god are you okay?” You hurry over to him quickly.

Drew looks down to your eyeline and lets his shoulders relax even more, “No.”

You try to stop yourself from smiling at his pouty face.

“I keep sneezing and I’m boiling hot but I’m shivering and I have a headache and I’m tired and now I just hit myself on this stupid thing,” He hits a hand out at the microphone stand, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

With that, he drops his head forward onto your shoulder, burying himself into the contact. You wrap your arms around his back and he wraps his around you two, seeming to relax even more into your hold.

“Okay I think we need to get you home,” You encourage, “I’ll speak to the director, I haven’t got anymore scenes to film today anyway and they can reschedule yours.”

“No, I’ll be fine, I’ll get it done,” He shakes his head, sniffing as he pulls away from you.

His eyes are half shut and you can practically see the pain oozing from him, “Drew you look like you’re about to fall asleep right now, you can’t work today.”

“Go to your trailer and grab your stuff and the car keys, I’ll speak to the director and I’ll meet you by the car, okay?”

He nods reluctantly, rubbing his hands over his eyes before walking slowly away towards the trailers. You turn to find the crew and go over to speak to them, watching as they already start to pack away the bits of the set.

~~~

When you walk over to the car, Drew’s already sitting in the driver’s seat, resting his head back against the chair with his eyes just lightly closed. You go around to that side and open the door.

“Babe you’re not driving, move over,” You nudge his shoulder.

“No, no, I got it, it’s fine,” He nods his head, eyes just fluttering slightly open.

“Drew, move your ass over to the other chair or I swear to god I’ll sit on top of you.”

He pokes his eye open, a smirk over his lips, “I mean… if you’re offering.”

You roll your eyes and hit his shoulder, eventually watching as he moves himself over to the other side of the jeep, wrapping his arms around himself. You climb into the driver’s side and start up the engine, driving home with Drew curled up beside you, his eyes shut and his body seemingly shrinking into the seat.

~~~

It’s not a long drive back and the two of you get back to your flat soon, Drew blinking his eyes open as the car comes to a stop. You hold his hand as the two of you take the elevator up to your floor, Drew resting his chin on your head as you unlock the door.

“Alright, go get into bed, I’ll get you some water do you want anything to eat?” You ask him as he drags his legs towards the bedroom.

Drew shakes his head, “I’m okay, thank you.”

You pour him a big glass of water and rummage through the cupboard to find any medicine the two of you owned, carrying it through to the bedroom. Drew is stood by the bed, in the dark with the curtains closed, but he’s visible enough for you to see as he pulls his top off, a bruise splaying across his ribs, seemingly getting darker.

“Oh my god is that from set?” You frown, setting the things down on the nightstand to go over to him.

“Yeah it’s bad right?” Drew frowns, wincing as he touches it, “I didn’t think it felt that bad, but it’s bruised already.”

“Alright, we’ll see how it is in the morning, okay? Just get some rest now,” You pull back covers and let him climb into his side of the bed, “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Drew frowns, opening his eyes, “You’re leaving?”

You look at him and smile, “Well, if we’re home for the rest of the day I was just going to get some chores around the flat done, that’s all.”

Drew shakes his head and then groans at the feeling, “Please stay.”

He’s tugged the sheets up to his chin on his side but folds down the side closer to you, his eyes fluttering shut as he snuggles into the mattress. It’s impossible to say no to him on the best of days, but today seemed extra impossible. You change into one of his jumpers and a pair of shorts, folding your clothes up on the chair of your vanity before climbing into bed next to him.

He buries himself into your arms, his head dipping into the crook of your neck as he waits for you to wrap your arms around him. You bring one hand up to his head and run your fingers through his hair, watching as he hums against the contact.

Your phone pings on the nightstand and the light flashes into the room, before it pings again and then once more.

“Who’s that?” Drew grumbles, “Should I be worried?”

You laugh and stretch back one arm to grab your phone, seeing three separate messages from the cast.

Rudy: What the fuck happened to Drew? Is he okay?

Madelyn: The crew told me about Drew, hope he’s okay <3 Let me know if y’all need anything

Chase: hey! hope drew’s doing okay, he looked rough earlier !! don’t let him die

“It’s just the guys asking about you, they’re all worried,” You explain, going to type a response quickly.

He waits until you stop typing and then takes the phone from you, setting it back down on the nightstand, “They can wait, I only want you.”

You laugh gently, “You’re so needy when you’re ill, you know that?”

He pokes his eye open and and pulls away just enough to look at you, “I’m allowed to be.”

You giggle and push his head back into your neck, hugging him tighter, “I’m not complaining.”

“You will be when I make you ill,” He points out, his words muffled against your skin.

Before you can say anything more, you hear his breaths start to even out and deepen as they mix with the lightest snores. Your arm starts to lose feeling under him and your shoulder aches from being bent at a weird angle to run your fingers through his hair. But you don’t move, letting him sink deeper into your touch as he sleeps, thankful he’s getting some much needed rest.

~~~

After Drew’s been sleeping for over an hour, you manage to wiggle away from him, replacing your touch with a pillow next to him for him to snuggle into. You go into the kitchen and potter around as quietly as you possibly can, stirring a pot full of tomato soup, cooking a grilled cheese, boiling water to make him a cup of tea.

When you get back into the room, he’s just waking up, grumbling as he stretches out an arm to realise you’re not there.

“(Y/N)?”

“Morning sunshine,” You beam, carrying over the tray of food, “I made you some lunch if you’re hungry.”

He hums and pushes himself up to sit in the bed, leaning back against the headboard, “You’re an angel.”

“I know,” You smile, setting the tray down on his lap and perching yourself on the edge of the bed, “It’s the classic - grilled cheese and tomato soup.”

Drew grins, rubbing his hands together, “My favourite.”

You glance down at his ribs where the bruise seemed to have fully developed now, wrapping around towards his pecs but luckily not seeming much worse than it had done before.

“Does that still hurt?” You gesture towards him.

Drew shakes his head, “No more than a normal bruise,” His voice is thick from the combination of sleep and how his words seemed to deepen with his blocked nose.

You nod, leaning forward to press the back of your hand against his forehead, “Okay you don’t feel like you’re burning up as much as you were. You worried me earlier.”

Drew smiles, setting down the grilled cheese and brushing the crumbs off from his hands, “C’mere.”

He stretches out an arm for you and you crawl under his touch, your body fitting perfectly between his arm and his torso.

“You don’t need to worry about me, angel,” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, your hair soft under his lips.

“You never get ill though,” You mumble, wrapping an arm around him.

He chuckles and it rumbles in his chest against your head, “I don’t, do I? Maybe I should get ill more often if it means I get to skip work, cuddle with my girlfriend and get food in bed.”

You laugh and tighten your hold against him, “Please don’t.”