#drevainrex

And potentially deal with him Forever? Gods no! Dal would never give him such power.

It’d be more along the lines of a “kill them with kindness” approach, although the word “kindness” is used extremely loosely.

Let’s just say that Drevain expects to be attacked. He understands that. He thrives on it. He uses Dal’s rage (and fear) against him. He gets under Dal’s skin once he is raw with anger.

If Dal were to, instead, choose not to kill Drevain, even when it would have been so easy to do--perhaps even putting Drevain in his debt by saving/sparing his life in the process, well.. that would just eat Drevain up inside, wouldn’t it? It would confuse and piss him off so much.

For Thurvayn, he would choose a nice piece of parchment, and write how grateful he was for all of Thurvayn’s help over the years. And not just his help, but his presence. His calm patience and love and acceptance. For always having open arms and an open mind. For being firm when necessary, but never cruel. For always explaining his thought process so Dalamus could understand how his words and actions directly affect others, and why he should care. 

For not judging before having the whole story, and even then supporting Dalamus because Dalamus wanted to change for the better even though it is frightening to be vulnerable. And for promising to be that pillar of paternal strength whenever the vulnerability is too much and he needs a space to break down.

It would be several pages long as, when Dalamus begins expounding gratitude, he has difficulty stopping. He finds this embarrassing, but moreso when speaking aloud. At the same time, it is proof of his progress, and more reason to write to such lengths.

4 - Would you say your father was a good parent? 

“Not at all. The way he made me feel is something I would wish only on my worst enemies.”

5 - How did your father treat your mother? 

“Like an object. She was something he possessed and used whenever he wished, and tossed aside just as quickly. My mother insisted he loved her. But I never saw it.”

8 - Was the father you grew up with your biological one or someone that became a father figure?

“...I am unsure. I do not know where he resides, only that he has--for whatever reason--stayed out of my life for a few years now.

“I still feel.. rage towards him. And if I saw him again, I do not know what I would do, or if I could stop myself. But I do not feel like expending the energy required to find and seek him out, nor would I wish to give him the satisfaction and ego boost that would result from seeing me do so.

“I do,” he admitted. “They are just.. a bit difficult to pick out amongst the terror of my father, that is all. Like stars in the sky; significant as a whole, but difficult to describe individually, yes? 

Dalamus had to think on the question for a good while. He was already a criminal, technically. Laws were guidelines at best, inconveniences at worst, and acting against them was hardly something revolutionary for him, consequences or no.

At first, he thought perhaps ‘murder Drevain’, but... he had grown past that rage. He still hated Drevain--a lot--but did not think Drevain’s death by his hands would make anything better.

He then thought, ‘bring Falin back,’ because she did not deserve the end he gave her. But.. regardless of the means, such would still be necromancy, yes? And he did not think she would approve. And where would she go? It would cause more problems than it would solve.

There were many parts of his past that he regretted. But if he changed them, he would not be where he was now. And that frightened him. So, he would not change it. If he forced the wills of those around him, even if they had no knowledge of it and were perfectly happy with the result, he believed he would still feel some guilt, knowing it was not by natural means.

24. How often are you told you’re loved?

A small smile graced his features for a moment. “That is, thankfully, something I am told rather often, be it by friends or my daughter. Tortulja, especially, seems to know exactly when I need to hear it.”

25. How did you handle your first ‘i hate you’?

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

Dalamus felt both, though unequally. His mother was affectionate and loving towards him whenever she had the chance, but unfortunately it was not enough to balance or overcome the rejection and cruelty he was often dealt by his father.

This constant rejection and fear-mongering from his father is largely responsible for Dalamus’ cynical distrust and pessimistic world view, beliefs which then led to behavior which only reinforced them for nearly two centuries--only momentarily lessened by the impossibly optimistic and compassionate Falin.

Compared to the rest of his 250+ years on Nirn, it is only recently (the past 25 years or so) that his negative beliefs have faltered, thanks to making connections with people and finding out that hey, not everyone will hate your guts on sight, and hey, it’s actually nice to have friends to talk to. 

7. What was the economic status of their family?

While I haven’t thought much of it, I have some idea.

Drevain wasn’t terribly wealthy, nor was he impoverished--at least, for a time. After the Arnesian War, things began going downhill and Drevain spent much of his coin on vices like alcohol and tobacco. While they never entered poverty, it felt otherwise for Dalamus and his mother, both neglected.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

It’s.. complicated.

For the most part, Dalamus is skeptical. He believes gods may exist, but he does not believe the gods truly care what happens on Nirn. He understands the desire to pray if all else fails, and understands that having religious faith helps some people cope with life. He does not, however, understand how some can pledge their entire lives to a god and live in a ‘everything happens for a reason’ sort of way.

You have to understand, though, that this comes from a black-and-white mentality in Dal’s brain. He thinks “If Mara is the goddess of love and happiness and she really cares about me, nothing bad should happen!” And that’s just not how life works. And one side of him understands that, while the other side wants to scream about the unfairness of it all.