#drej

Watching Titan AE for the second time: “Oh, the Drej order all fighters to be recalled to the ship before they fire their main weapon, that’s really cool.”

Watching Titan AE for the third time: “Oh, hey, they also recalled all their fighters at the start of the movie to power their weapon before they blow up Earth. That’s consistent!”

(Aliens discover backlog of various scifi franchise space ships in a discarded catalog.)

Alien: We need to get these plans to the military at once! Alien 2: What are you talking about? Alien: I found this document listing out military ships humans use!  Alien 2: You mean the species that can barely make it out of their own home system? How are they a threat?  Alien: It’s all a scam! They have ships that can destroy entire planets!  Alien 2: That’s nonsense.  Alien: (Shows diagram of Death Star) Alien 2: (Inspects then reacts in horror) Alien 2: I’ll call the cab. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: This one says it is called the “USS Enterprise”.  Alien 2: What do they say it does?  Alien: It is intended for exploration, discovery, and diplomatic relations.  Alien 2: So it has no guns?  Alien: Oh no, it’s armed out the teeth.  Alien 2: So is it a diplomatic ship or a warship? You can’t be both.  Alien: I guess with humans violence is diplomacy.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien 2: What an odd looking ship.  Alien: Yes, it reminds me of an insect like creature found on the human homeworld.  Alien 2: What was it called.  Alien: A fire-fly.  Alien 2: Leave it to humans to make their ships look like bugs.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: It seems this document also lists out non-human species that humans have come across.  Alien 2: Really?  Alien: Indeed. It seems they encountered a species of cubes.  Alien 2: Cubes?  Alien: Cube people it would seem. I don’t know why any other reason a space fairing people would otherwise build a cube as their spaceship.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: Look at this design.  Alien 2: What an odd construction.  Alien 2: It is like a giant pyramid that has been built outwards.  Alien: It says it was built by a snake like species that would enter a host body and take control of it.  Alien 2: I find it somewhat hard to believe that a snake would be smart enough to have space fairing technology.  Alien 3: (Snake like alien walking by overhears the conversation and glares at them) -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: What is the difference between a star destroyer and a “super” star destroyer?  Alien 2: Size and number of weaponry slots it would seem.  Alien: (Snickering) Humans most need to overcompensate everything. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: This one is confusing.  Alien 2: How so?  Alien: It says this was a massive ship made of pure energy that was used by species that was also pure energy.  Alien 2: How is that weird?  Alien: Well it says that the ship destroyed the human homeworld then went about seeking out humanity for the next several years to exterminate them.  Alien 2: Wait, what?!? Alien: It also says it was destroyed by the last surviving human super weapon that fired upon the ship and used the energy to form a new plant from surrounding asteroids. Alien 2: WHAT?!?!?!? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: It’s fascinating how much detail humans have gathered about other species spaceships.  Alien 2: How so?  Alien: Well, it gives in depth analysis of a species known as “Hive” that are vampiric in nature and travel the stars in living bioships.  Alien 2: How could they possibly know that?  Alien: Says most of the information was gathered when a human strike force boarded the ship to plant a nuclear device to destroy that ship.  Alien 2: If they were going to blow it up why even bother gathering information about it?  Alien: Seems like humans felt it wasn't challenging enough and got bored.  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alien 2: Why is this one called a “Falcon”?  Alien 2: It looks nothing like the bird.  Alien: Maybe it’s more symbolic?  Alien 2: It looks like a giant saucer we used to fly over and abduct humans with.  Alien: SSSSH!!! We don’t talk about that anymore!  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: This ship seemed to be built entirely built only to house a massive weapon. Alien 2: What kind of weapon?  Alien: It takes large chunks of metal and speeds them up to supersonic speeds before firing it at the enemy.  Alien 2: Leave it to humans to build a weapon that is basically a human with a rock in a strip of cloth being twirled around really really fast.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: This is a truly devastating one. Alien 2: But it’s so tiny.  Alien: It says it fires a special missile into a nearby sun that will make it go supernova and destroy the surrounding system as it expands. Alien 2: (gasps) Alien 2: What a devastating weapon. Thankfully the ship would be destroyed as well no doubt.  Alien: It says here it can survive the supernova. Alien 2: What?!  Alien: It is covered in super dense material and shielding allowing it to ride out the following explosion. Alien 2: WHAT MADNESS ARE HUMANS!?!?!?! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------