I think one thing this whole debacle has proven is that Drawfee fans do not know what the word "parasocial" actually means, so if this is an appropriate space, I'd like to explore that.
The dictionary definition of parasocial is simply "a one sided relationship, such as between a public figure and their fans." This is fairly reductive, and I think we all know that a dictionary definition is not the be-all-end-all of what a thing is, but it does serve as a useful jumping-off point, if only by highlighting what is inaccurate about the dictionary definition; where and how does the dictionary definition differ from the reality of the thing? Where, and how vast, is the divide?
The term was originally coined in the 1950s, around the widespread adoption of the television, by psychiatric professionals in an attempt to describe why audiences grew to feel close to media personalities. It was described as an illusory and distinctly one-sided experience, but not necessarily a delusional or even negative one. A subreddit poster made this same distinction a few days ago, that parasocial interaction is not inherently detrimental; unfortunately, this point seems to have been largely ignored. That said, looking for examples of parasocial relationships, it's easy to find examples of both the good and the bad. For every real-life Annie Wilkes or John Hinckley, there's a queer teen who feels close to an openly LGBTQ celebrity, or a lonely person who feels comforted when they put on their favorite podcast. Ultimately, all a parasocial relationship is is the one-sided illusion of connection or closeness with a person we are not legitimately close to in our personal lives, and this definition can encompass all kinds of positive and negative permutations.
I think it is important to highlight what a parasocial relationship is in order to distinguish what it is not. It seems to me as if Drawfee fans have agreed upon an alternate definition of parasocial that can essentially be summed up as "being a bad fan." Or not even necessarily being a bad fan, but being the kind of fan I don't like, or that the mental construct of the Drawfee hosts I've created in my head wouldn't like. THIS IS NOT A USEFUL DEFINITION.
I don't think this alternate definition comes from nowhere. After all, the media landscape has changed immensely since the 1950s, especially since the turn of the century and the advent of social media (take a moment to consider the term: SOCIAL media). We have begun to blur the lines of removal between ourselves and public figures; celebrities post to websites ostensibly meant to connect us to our friends and family, we see press releases in the same feeds we see our friends post life updates and memes, we interact directly with celebrities in comments sections. It becomes harder to state that X is a part of real life while Y is just something on the internet when the internet becomes more and more intertwined with (and indistinguishable from) our "real lives".
With this in mind, it becomes understandable why we've seen something of a backlash to the more colloquial understanding of parasociality from content creators in the last few years. As these lines blur, and we all learn to navigate this new media paradigm, it stands to reason that some fan interactions would end up making some content creators uncomfortable. After all, there's a whole spectrum of positive and negative behavior in between "quietly and privately feeling comforted" and "attempting to kill a political figure to impress a child actor." The only problem is that much of the backlash has come from a place of incomplete information, both on the parts of the creators and their fanbases, and Drawfee and its fandom are not exempt from this.
Drawfee (who I will use as an example, but this is in no way limited to Drawfee; this extends to all content creators and internet celebrities and likely far beyond that) makes their living on the back of parasocial interaction. It is, in fact, the entirety of their business model, that people will like their content, and therefore like their personalities, and therefore want to voluntarily support them. They post to YouTube, a social media site, and interact with fans. They don't do this because it's fun (it might be, I doubt it, but that isn't the point), they do it to make money. To put it bluntly, without parasociality, there is no Drawfee.
So when a company like Drawfee speaks against "parasocial relationships," it makes sense that what they are actually discouraging is overstepping boundaries, and inappropriate interactions, rather than the very thing that allows their job to exist. However, for one reason or another, that isnt what a good chunk of people hear. They just hear "parasocial==bad," and they internalize that with whatever level of understanding of parasocial relationships that they have.
Another asker compared some of the parasociality-related self-flagellation we've seen in Drawfee fan communities to Catholic guilt, and I think that comparison is relatively apt. I might go further in comparing it to puratinism, specifically within the contexts of the witch hunts; or, to use a secular analogue, the red scare and McCarthyism. Much as calling someone a Witch or a Communist served both to morally elevate the accuser while denigrating and invalidating the accused, so too have cries of "parasocial" become a thought-terminating cliche.
I don't have much of a conclusion to this line of thinking. To be frank I've already spent too much time typing this. It's just incredibly disappointing to see what is on paper meant to be a forward thinking, accepting community devolve into this kind of neoliberal American puritanism. Seeing conversations shut down via moralizing dismissal while people openly call for and endorse censorship and preemptive punishment is incredibly disheartening. The announcement of Karina's already left a bad taste in my mouth regarding drawfee, and I was already unsure if I wanted to continue engaging with Drawfee content in the future, but the community reaction has made me deeply uncomfortable, made me realize this is not a group I am proud to call myself a part of, and may well be the nail in the coffin for my Drawfee viewership going forward, and I guarantee that I am not alone in this.
wow, wow wow wow. i wish i could award this ask because this is incredible.
thank you, for the deep analysis and sharing of the history of the parasocialism, and how the Drawfee community has been wrestling with this concept. you have put into words something that i have been turning in my head the moment i saw someone first use that word in the aftermath of the announcement of the split, and have done it in such an eloquent and well rounded way. i am at a loss for words.
just to add on some of my own thoughts on the subject, i think what the drawfee fandom has been experiencing is a particularly bad case of groupthink. (or the psychological drive for consensus at any cost that suppresses disagreement and prevents the appraisal of alternatives in cohesive decision-making groups, to quote irving janis).
if we refer to irving janis' 8 symptoms of groupthink, i think we can find that they are very applicable to what has been occuring with the fans policing discussions in drawfee fan communities. in particular the following are what i find most applicable of the 8.
morality. i think i have spoke on this before, where fans think they are being morally superior because they do not invade the crew's privacy, and they are being "very normal" about it.
stereotypes: i see this alot, where fans stereotype critics and dismiss their arguments without engaging with it. where fans who are critical are labelled as "people who want to invade the hosts' privacy, wanting every detail of their private lives." or as you have pointed out, as "parasocial entitled fans that do not understand basic boundaries such as "no." " this is deeply untrue and clear to me as someone who reads comments over multiple times to ensure i know what the other is trying to convey. it seems many fans do not extend the same courtesy.
pressure for dissenters. very guilty of this. i have experienced this myself, where these apparently unpopular opinions get dogpiled by these fans. in fact, if you look at my first post and earlier, i received many of these messages in quick succession.
self censorship. i think this is very evident. even for this blog, the way that the vast majority of the asks are anonymous, even though tumblr is already an anonymous platform. clearly there are many fans out there that are afraid to openly engage in discussions because of the potential backlash. i also think there are going to be many many lurkers that read almost everything but do not dare to engage in any way other than sending in an anon ask due to the same concerns. (which is totally ok btw, because it is very scary) (it is the whole reason why i created this blog in the first place, to help mitigate some of these)
illusion of unanimity. they are loud. they are not afraid to post, and so they flood the subreddits and tumblr posts. i could count on one hand the amount of posts that expressed any other opinion than "lets be normal guys, and respect their privacy" when i first started this.
i have included the others for completeness sake, but truth be told i am not eloquent enough to link the concepts, nor am i sure if they are relevant to the situation. ymmv. please share if you too have thoughts on the matter.
this reply has made me ramble on for longer than i expected. i do agree with you that the community will be coming out worse for wear after this thing settles down, and many will no longer feel as connected to the community after this. i only hope that as discussions evolve in fan spaces, we get to see more diverse opinions and have fruitful discussions.
once again, thank you so much for the ask. it has admittedly led me down a path of analysis on my own and at this point, i have already spent an hour thinking through and typing out my response to this, but i think it is well worth the time and effort.
because i really think this is something fans of drawfee should take a read on, i will add this to the main tag. i hope it reaches more people.
