#dragonflyrambles

Hey guys… so… I know I haven’t been really active lately but I’m here mostly just to… say stuff I don’t even know.

This past month and a half has not been the best, my life has kinda blown up medically (nothing too serious… yet? Hopefully? Idk?), personally, emotionally, almost academically (still recovering from that scare), and it’s just… been a lot.

I’m working on it, I’m back in therapy and I’ve gone back to some hobbies to help with my mental state and I think I’m like- staring to relax a tiny little bit-

All of this to say, I don’t know when I’ll be updating any of my works aside from my Jonathan fic since that one is already finished.

To be entirely honest, I’m still writing a lot, since I’m honestly always writing and I always love writing, but I’ve been writing whatever I feel like, so I’ve got 10 more chapters written of the Arcane fic that I’ve worked on these past 2 months, I just don’t want to update until I finish all of it, I’ve been working on and off on fics that are yet to be published, I’ve been working on my original stuff, so- I love writing and I am very much still in the habit of writing anywhere between 1k to 5k everyday, it is a part of me, but I haven’t really been working on a lot of my unfinished stuff

I just want to say, I will be going back to those fics, be it if I feel the inspo or once I’m a bit more stable and I can sit down and structure them the way I want to, it’s just been hard.

So um- yeah, I’m prioritizing writing only what I want to and what I feel like day to day, lately that has mostly been the Arcane fic and some other unpublished projects and my original work, I just wanted to give that update

I might be a bit more active on my side blog, just posting random stuff and thoughts since I feel like that might help in some kind of way but I don’t think I’ll be too active here, maybe getting into my inbox ocasionally but I honestly don’t know

Might not be able to relax til my graduation in June tbh, my college is being a bitch and making it as difficult as possible to just let me finish and everything else is… not any better and most of it is unfortunately just out of my control so I’m just trying to stay above water. I’m getting there.

Honestly I think it was great, I feel like maybe they could’ve prolonged the final part a bit more but I think this entire season is meant to be left off with an uneasy/unfinished feeling so I can accept that.

Very few things that didn’t quite hit for me,

First off, I will say I’m a bit disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of Percy’s ocean powers like- this was the SEA of monsters but I’m pretty sure we only got to see him use his powers like once or twice but I’m hoping they’re saving that for s3 to especially contrast with Thalia’s lightning

BUT him getting beaten up by Luke- like yeah, I feel they’ll be dropping a bit of what makes us feel empathy for Luke in s3 and I can’t wait to see the conflict between him and Thalia

Tell my why I was at the verge of tears with Tyson?! I love him so much, they freaking nailed him oh my god-

With Chris, anyone who’s read the books knows they changed his plotline since originally, he went with Luke in book 1, got lost in the sea of monsters and went crazy, being brought back to sanity by Mr. D and then switching sides and falling for Clarisse, honestly even if this time around he only reveals his true alliance at the end, I wish they’d shown him to be a bit more conflicted in his confrontation with Clarisse, especially since I feel like she should’ve felt a bit more betrayed since we did see she had a crush on him

^ But I love the end of Clarisse’s character, getting to finish her quest and being put in charge of training their strike team, love her.

Still a bit on the fence about the change to Thalia’s fate. I think I love it on one hand cause it does show how callous the gods can be and how you can see Luke’s POV even if you disagree with how he goes about it, he is right that sometimes the gods just don’t care about their children and it will obvs give a lot more conflict to s3 not just between Thalia and Percy but also Thalia and Luke if he finds out

And my heart melted when Annabeth and Thalia hugged, I am so excited to see their dynamic, especially Thalia realizing that Annabeth isn’t a little kid anymore- ufffff

Anyway, thought it was great all in all, prob an 8/10 and I am SO THRILLED we won’t have to wait long for s3 and to see Percy massively crashing out over his great friend Annabeth

my pronouns are him/she/they😊 and If you notice my art looks similar to somebody else’s, it’s because I use ALOT of references, but I Do not trace. (Mostly the references I find on Google)

*Disclaimer*

I am very Impulsive do not take anything that comes out of my big mouth seriously. and on the contrary if you leave a message or reply and I don't respond I did see your message and I appreciate it I SWEAR I just don't know how to respond without sounding like a robot and I overthink it dramatically before eventually throwing my phone against the wall and giving up.

This post is for the other 5 henderhop shippers

I must say, I was just barely properly indoctrinated into this ship like 2 months ago and I freaking LOVE IT, not even in a ‘oh they’re what’s leftover if you ship Byler and Lumax’ nah, I ship them more than I ever shipped Byler and lowkey they’re on the same level as Lumax for me

Still like the concept of Mileven, was never a fan of the execution post s3

but now, especially after the finale and just… fucking hating El’s ending I found myself thinking about properly done tragedies and had the most random fic idea I’ve ever had that I’m low-key rolling around in my head since right now I’m just writing whatever I feel like

Okay so- fic idea, post s3 in a universe where the Mind Flayer/Upside Down shit ended there, Hopper lives, the Byers don’t move away and Mileven breaks up amicably but El is still struggling and she finally gets to go to school

So- this is an idea where, whilst figuring out what she likes, El finds she loves musicals and old stories because they make her think of what makes humanity, humanity and she learns about the story of… drum roll please… Orpheus and Eurydice

Through shenanigans and other random shit, this is a universe where Hawkins High either puts on a Hadestown production or El decides she’s gonna write a fucking musical just because (it helps with her vocabulary and grammar and she loves learning about music and shit like that) and dedicates pretty much all her time to it and once everyone sees how passionate she is about it, they all help and wind up suggesting she show it to the theatre club who help her figure everything out

she spends over a year preparing this so in this world, they’re a bit closer in age to the older teens (she and the party are 15 and in their second year of HS, Eddie is still on his 3rd try, met Dustin on his 2nd try, Nancy and the others are on their final year, 18)

Dustin is Orpheus cause he is canonically a good singer and he just fits and of course he’s gonna help El with her passion project. El made puppy eyes for a split second and he was like ‘Ugh fine if you insist’ (he loves it) and El absolutely does NOT take inspiration from him to write Orpheus

El is Eurydice and she is absolutely NOT projecting like crazy (‘I was alone so long I didn’t even know that I was lonely?!’ ‘Eurydice was a hungry young girl, but she’d seen how the world was?!’ ‘I don’t wanna go back to the lonely life?!’ ‘And for a moment I forget just how dark and cold it gets?!’)

Dustin is still in Hellfire and meets Eddie, whose also in theatre cause he’s a dramatic son of a bitch and of course he plays Hades, especially when, after one of his rants, El shyly approaches him and says she would like to include themes to criticize capitalism since she has learned the best musicals include heavy themes and if he can help with some lyrics since he’s already in a band and clearly knows what he’s talking about, Eddie decides in that moment he’d die for the kid and that he has to help Dustin with his increasingly obvious crush on her (he breaks up with Suzie not long after the end of s3 due to the long distance)

just imagine Eddie Munson having the ‘I conduct the electric city!’ line? Chills. Also he lowkey blackmails corroded coffin into helping out with the instrumental even if its a completely different genre

Chrissy Cunningham who is trying something new by being in theatre after either being forced to drop cheerleading or just wanting something new/it being suggested by Miss Kelley, she lands Persephone and at first plays her sweet and kind since she’s the goddess of spring but eventually realizes this is her chance to NOT be meager and controlled; after a pep talk from Eddie and El explaining her vision, she fully embraces the chance to be chaotic and crazy

Jason and her mom lowkey think she’s been possessed on opening night because she is COMMITTED to the bit of chaotic alcoholic, dancing around and giving it her all especially in Way Down Hadestown and Our Lady of the Underground, girl is (forgive my pun) livin’ it up and Eddie is losing his mind because what do you mean he gets to play his life-long crush’s HUSBAND?!

^ they’re a mess and they fall in love and they ship Dustin and Jane to the ends of the earth and Chrissy is low-key a big sister figure to Jane

and El/Jane is giving it her everything, figuring this out because she’s also trying to figure out who she is without her powers and without Mike and she just wants to make something.

Max helps with the costumes and Will paints backdrops, Lucas helps with props and choreo, Nancy is PROMOTING like crazy, you can’t turn a single street corner in Hawkins without seeing flyers advertising the play, Jonathan helps with the promo via photos and documents the progress and is the one who introduced El to musicals in the first place. Robin is in the band but as the trombone because holy fuck the trombone in Hadestown goes crazy, Steve does maybe hair and makeup idk

Mike is so proud because El is now the storyteller and, whilst they’re on good terms it can hurt to see him so he mostly tries to let her do her thing but eventually helps a bit with lyrics, just a tiny bit and helps with giving her pep talks when she’d doubting herself

and either Steve or Mike are Hermes, Steve is outta high school so it’d be hard but maybe Dustin talks him into it because he’d be perfect or Mike because he’s already a master storyteller and knows how to draw people in (he’d need so many vocal lessons though) and that’s how he and El fully become low-key besties again because El can’t see anyone else being the one to narrate the story.

or maybe Robin could be Hermes, she’d be great at it, though she’d sob the entire way through Road to Hell reprise

And Dustin gets to spend so much time with Jane, helping her figure out what she likes along with Max, helping her study and tutoring her along with Mr. Clark and seeing the way she seems to take on a whole different level of life as she figures out the story she wants to tell and reading on how musicals are structured and just pouring her heart into it and he always had a tiny crush but now he’s falling in love and OH GOD NO

And El being so grateful because Dustin was the first to take her musical seriously and didn’t hesitate to join in and he never tells her what she should do but just lets her bounce ideas off of him and he never doubts her and while she finds herself being able to teach him about music, he teaches her about the world and anything else she’s curious about but never makes her feel dumb for not knowing things and he highlights words he thinks she might like in a dictionary and is just always there

Both of them, but mostly Dustin, freaking out when they realize that the kiss scene Jane wrote is like… for them and they have to kiss and dance together and play a beautiful couple doomed by the narrative together.

Opening night, everyone is freaking out and Hopper, who is so glad Jane found something to be passionate about but is understandably hesitant about this whole thing is sobbing so badly by the end he nearly has to be taken out via stretcher.

Everyone is devastated, Melvald’s runs out of tissues by night 2, Max low-key has a crash out because everyone who isn’t in the play only ever heard snippets and Jane told NO ONE other than the theatre club that she wasn’t changing the ending and after tearing everyone’s hearts out and stomping on them along with Dustin, they just go out got for final bows with the biggest gummiest smiles.

Dustin’s mom is kinda crying for three days straight and insists on getting pictures of Jane as well

and Jane is so proud to have something that is hers and that she created and she gets to come into her own over the course of planning and practicing and everything and UGH-

I am consumed by the idea of this fic

Henderhop, Hellcheer, Hadestown, all the great Hs with a good helping of platonic Elmax, platonic Mileven, Dustin freaking out over what mike will think, Steve and Eddie giving Dustin horrible advice. Nancy giving him good advice, Chrissy and Jonathan being Jane’s big siblings, Will being her twin and absolutely NOT sobbing everytime he gets to hear a new snippet (he mgiht be the only one who gets to listen to whole songs before the play comes out)

yeah… might do it… who knows

if conformitygate isn’t real I’ll do it (so that’s an 85% chance that I will)

I was also jumping around my room during the whole Guinea pig scene THEY FUCKING NAILED IT, the guinea pig was giving Percy so much?!!?!?! The ‘take a seat lad’ subtitles for the pirate guinea pig?!? ‘Percy-pig’ I cackled, the little gasp before the scene cut?! Percy-pig was ACTING, I could hear the internal ‘ANNABETH!!!!’ While it was clawing at the cage

Freaking Percy-pig keeping his powers?! Hilarious

also Blackbeard telling Percy to ‘take his share’ and giving him a fucking celery stick was the Cherry on top. I was very excited to see how they were gonna do that whole thing, 10/10, no notes

unironically one of the best moments in the show so far

also really liked this interpretation of Circe and I died during the siren scene, I was one of those people who has complete faith in Annabeth and I was like ‘oh she managed to kill the sirens? Fucking ey, kinda weird Percy hasn’t made it to her yet though’ jumped outta my skin at the fake out.

BUT, when I watched that I assumed that like… they all knew

In my mind I assumed the premise was that a spy and assassin that were assigned some mission and that they needed a telepath child to do it (don’t remember how I found out about Anya going to some classy school being part of it) but I thought that like- they were assigned the mission together, ala, all three were working together and Anya was a psuedo-spy in training/ had been rescued from some experiment and was being “repurposed”

And lowkey (I won’t do it cause I haven’t kept up with the story and don’t know nearly enough about it) but I kinda wanna write an AU from that perspective like- Loid and Yor are either on the same side or for once WISE’s and the Garden’s objectives align and they each get to send one of their assets on the mission

And so there is a pull and push not just because Loid and Yor feel like they can’t fully trust each other but there’s the weird part of having to play the domestic life and, even when they don’t necessarily have to keep it up (when they’re in private) Yor pushes to at least try to give Anya a somewhat normal childhood and, whilst Loid tries to be of the mindset of ‘we have a mission and she has a role to play’ but also like- he sees that Anya is just a kid and they both know that she was the only one that didn’t really get a say in all this and she’s obviously thrilled by the idea of having a family so they have a silent agreement to try and give her a safe home (and it’s one of the only things they completely agree on?)

But also, neither has a full grasp on what children do since they had to grow up so quickly and they still have the mission to think about so, aside from cooking and telling her bedtime stories and trying to parent her (Yor more than Loid since Loid would be in denial but he’d still wind up being accidentally fatherly like in the show/manga) Yor also teaches her self-defense and Loid tries to teach her how to read people to make her an expert combining mind-reading with reading body language (and he wants to teach her to lie but then he’s like- hmmmm maybe that’s not the best thing to teach your kid)

And they both try to shield her from the darker parts of their jobs and the mission

And inevitably, her befriending Damian is part of the mission and they all know it, so she’s baking brownies with Yor as friendship-bribe-brownies and Loid is debriefing her on Damian’s favorite cartoon to have topics of conversation and then Anya just does NOT get along with him for the first few months and Loid wants to scream but he can’t bring himself to be upset because ‘who sends a FIVE YEAR OLD half trained ‘spy’ on the field?!’, <- the Handler hears many- not complaints, but many reprimands cause how is he supposed to train her in these conditions?

And Loid and Yor get perhaps an even more complex dynamic because they both meet each other already knowing the darkest parts of one another and being suspicious of one another but through Anya they get to see the other’s softer side and their silent agreement to protect her from the darker parts of their mission also brings them together and they get paired up for other missions and just- ugh I live for that idea.

Went out with a very dear friend of mine, who happens to also be my ex, that barely registers in my head tbh, we were together for a short amount of time and just realized we were better off as friends, we hadn’t spoken in a while and, while we were chatting he confessed to me that about a year and a half ago he started pulling away from me because in our 5 people friend group, mutual friends of ours (2 girls) told him to back off because the other guy in the group had a crush on me (which I suspected tbh) and they wanted my friend/ex to ‘give him a shot’ at me…

And that just infuriated me so fucking much, because like- those 2 guys were some of the friends I was closest to throughout college, and I wasn’t really close to the 2 girls due to a few incidents (they cancelled last minute on me on a small event I worked really hard on and they left me waiting an hour and a half for them to arrive to an outing for one of their b-days and never even apologized; I kinda stopped trying to hang out with them outside of college after that) and they had they just made that choice for me to give a guy ‘a chance’

No one ever asked me if I liked the guy, if I had feelings for him, I suspected he liked me and i just prayed that he never brought it up if he did have feelings for me because I loved him so much as a friend but that was as far as my feelings went (and that’s how I interpreted the car scene with Nikki asking Bear if he liked her, if you’ve been a girl who loved a boy dearly as a friend but could just tell it wasn’t enough for him, that shit is both heartbreaking and infuriating in a strange way) and I want to think that this boy didn’t ask the girls to say that to my friend, because I don’t think that he’d do smth like that but at the same time, you just never fucking know

And my friend apologized for listening to them because he knew that I didn’t really have a lot of friends and even after our breakup our friendship was still pretty strong after a while up until that and I was thinking about reaching out to the other boy cause again, I loved him so dearly but now I just don’t know because, again, i want to think he played no part in that since my friend never mentioned him asking him for that but still it just- UGH

SPOILERS for The Last Act!

So… I actually did quite like the finale, I do wish a few characters had been given more screentime but I understand why it happened the way it did and I feel like we got semi-decent closure for the most part

However… I do have one very specific gripe and that is that…

RAGATHA SHOULD’VE BEEN PART OF THE JAX-RIBBIT-KAUFMO FRIENDSHIP FLASHBACKS

I was so hoping we’d get glimpses of Jax and Ragatha’s friendship since it’d been lowkey alluded to that they used to be friends and they were kinda my fave dynamic because of that, just the concept of the two being friends and then Ribbit abstracting and Jax pulling away, I’m sorry but the lines with Ragatha feeling like she failed Jax, Jax being especially angry when confronted/bested by Ragatha and just- certain expressions he pulls in her presence, also also, her abstraction door in his mind being the one where he loses all empathy and is just diabolical? I was so invested! And like- not even as a ship (thought bunny doll is probably my fave conceptual ship of the show cause again, interesting tragic dynamic) but just- it seemed so interesting and I really hoped to get flashbacks.

Especially because, in my mind, since that Polaroid that we were shown I instantly was like, okay Jax used to be friends with Ribbit and Kaufmo and their abstractions probably led him to grow colder and meaner BUT… who took the picture?

HUH?! WHO TOOK THE PICTURE?!

YOU KNOW WHO?!

There are only two possibilities; Kinger or Ragatha, and I really don’t think it was Kinger.

Ergo; Ragatha was probably part of the group! That was what I thought

And while we did get confirmation that they used to be friends or ‘as close to a friend as one could be with Jax’ it still… didn’t feel like enough, maybe I spun it out of proportion in my mind but I really did think it was gonna convey a more tragic thing.

The way I’d been reading it, I thought it’d be like- the 4 used to be friends then Ribbit’s abstraction started to drive them apart

Kaufmo’s abstraction is what really leads Jax to be even meaner than ever (since we didn’t really see him a lot pre-Kaufmo abstracting) and Ragatha to be desperate to keep the people in the circus from falling down that path, heightening both of their coping mechanicsms.

Jax refuses to acknowledge he and Ragatha were ever friends and Ragatha feels like she failed the entire friend group and everything is tragic yay!