Jul 15, 2020
The gods really sometimes just drop you a whisper in the ear and you go "oh yeah I'm gonna write that dow- WAIT" and then you just have to sit back for a hot minute to digest that tidbit.
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The gods really sometimes just drop you a whisper in the ear and you go "oh yeah I'm gonna write that dow- WAIT" and then you just have to sit back for a hot minute to digest that tidbit.
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I've been at work for 13 hours, I just want to eat something that isn't vending food and not have to wake up 2 hours ahead of the sun on 5 hours of sleep, come on.
My thoughts on Fenrir in the beginning:
- Big boy
- ANGERY
- Wary
- Following my gut but NERVOUS
My thoughts now:
- Big boy!
- Angry and I can relate
- That time in a dream I ran up and hugged Him and He tried to bite off my head when I called Him handsome (He was trying to bite me for show and we both know it)
- Following my gut on what to do cautiously (still learning to trust myself again)
- Finding unexpected kinship in the feeling of being bound (between His bindings and my chronic illnesses, and the anger born from it)
Me honoring Fenrisulfr when I have a chronic illness
- Dedicates bad pain days and getting through them to the wolf
- Lavishes self when I get home; sitting on hot packs, fucking SALT baths, making good food despite the fact I wanna collapse on the floor cause my knees are ready to break.
- Unabashedly using cane in public because fuck you I need this thing today.
- Inviting the wolf to sit with me during bad days where I’m bound to the bed/ couch cause no one else understands being bound by shit out of your control and being angry about it. Bonus: putting on a show/movie to enjoy together.
- Focusing on Fen during driving because I need to meditate anyways because I very much freak out during driving.
- Fucking MUSIC.
- Searching for info on Fenrisulfr and His family and keeping myself from fixating on the 100 websites saying honoring His family is dumb and getting angry. (because I will always get angry but I’m not gonna fixate)
Fen either needs to stop whispering in my ears, or I need to take better notes and maybe start collecting the things He's been giving me. Maybe posting more for Him too.
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I have to tell you, sometimes my brain while I daydream and walk through the most unlikely of scenarios gives me some of the rawest comeback lines I will never be able to use.
Every time a see a repost of an artist's work on a site that that artist already posted to, my jaw unhinges and out climbs a very angry wolf to smack the person who reposted the work.
Would like to say I don't like the fact that tonight's election has the exact vibes as "pick a god and pray" tacked onto it