Did you know that snipe eels have an average of 750 vertebrae? That's almost 23 times the amount humans have! Anyways, are there any Xornoth headcanons you need an excuse to talk about? Because this is an excuse to talk about anything you want. Many good days and nights to you! :)
Oh yes yes I mean I kinda need to even out my headcannons bc of my last post about xornoth 😭
Crack headcannon is included in this.
Xornoth is scared of shrub in a way that a collage frat boy pretends to not be scared of bugs. Like kinda freaks out if she starts going toward him, which just picturing it is hilarious. I mean it doesn’t happen often cuz I see shrub as batshit scared of xornoth but yeah
They have the crunchest fried hair to ever exist and like super dry skin. (I mean this kinda makes sense from that post I was talking about Xornoths scars)
This is bc Xornoth straighten it WAY to much even they were still an elf
Here’s my fav one about xornoth :3
He sleeps like motherfucking Dracula, like unironically. Arms crossed, straight, non-moving, even the two teeth sticking out.
Fun fact about this is that anyone who has the lucky chance of seeing xornoth sleep once in 100098382929 years it freaks everyone out.
Cause guess what? They also rise like fucking Dracula too. And yes this is just an evil perk
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Let’s say Vlad did managed to get over his Maddie obsession, become a Dad to Dani, and loves her and his cat so very much.
Then let’s say I love making references and give him a boyfriend and girlfriendd named Quincey and Lucy. With maybe Arthur and John added to the mix. Oh and Mina and Johnathon too.
Heck, let’s do a Dracula retelling but everyone is happy.
So in the Summer I went to Whitby with my dad and had the idea of writing a fic combining the things Whitby was known for; Pirates, Alice in Wonderland and Dracula. I swapped the fandom I intended to use for this fic and it's still weird
Summary: Pirate Captain Eddie doesn't like raiding Whitby, but this time it doesn't really need to be a raid at all when someone he'd raided before getting his own ship recognises him.
/\/\
Eddie regarded the coastline they were fast approaching in curiosity and fascination. He knew it was a profitable stop, with plenty of wealthy folks to steal from and profit off, but it was also one of the most unpredictable towns they ever stopped at, and something had clearly been happening recently.
He could see the marks left from where a ship had crashed recently, and was fairly sure he was seeing the actual repairs being done also. To most sailors it would be nothing, just an accident or a new sailor overestimating how he needed to leave the port. To Eddie it was ominous, a reminder that Whitby had more than expected occurring in it than other English towns and the quaintness everyone back home attributed to these ports, here at least, was a thin mask nobody should try to look through.
“Prepare to enter port!” The call came from Gareth just behind him, echoed among the crew.
“And remember, when in Whitby what don't we do?” Eddie called as the ship adjusted course for the entrance.
“Never follow animals strange,
No drugs help what they rearrange.
Check the strangers coming near,
If uncertain, escape in fear.
Prepare for gifts to change in time,
Whitby keeps transformations in line.
Flowers can share a pretty tune,
But double check they leave no rune.”
The poem is sung back to him among laughs from his crew. They all thought it was a joke, something to laugh about, all except Gareth and Jeff who'd visited the town with Eddie many times before.
Locals were nodding at the words now they were close enough in to be heard.
Entering in daylight might seem odd for pirates to do but Eddie felt safer ensuring that at least their arrival wouldn't be subject to the bending reality that happened from early afternoon till night. It did however mean they had to follow the regulations and restrictions as well as pay for their ships placement. Eddie had insisted it was worth it for safety when a few of the crew argued it as a waste of their takings.
“Good advice, you going to share that song around the ships you leave floating?” One of the harbour masters calls, catching a rope Eddie tried to throw around a bollard to help pull them in. The man's clothes looked brand new and his hair was styled in a way only the wealthy could manage, but his movements spoke of familiarity with his job. It was an entrancing mix that had Eddie trying to figure out why a noble would be working here until his words registered.
“You mean the ships we trade with?” Eddie asked cautiously. If this man knew or recognised him or his ship as connecting to pirates he might have just found an excuse to avoid Whitby entirely, no matter how much he wanted to get to know him better.
The harbour master scoffed, shaking his head and calling over his shoulder for someone called Robin to come help him guide the ship in. “Not likely, but I get you wanting to say that. We're not going to say anything. Actually I want you to leave with more of my parents stuff than you did last time. Best thing ever done for me and I was stupid enough to ask why you were there.”
That struck a memory in Eddie's mind, years ago, before he'd taken his own ship, he'd been found in one of the town houses of the wealthy. The man looked gorgeous in the daylight where his features had been obscured by darkness and twisted by flickering candlelight on their first meeting. “Didn't expect there to be anything left in that town house. Most people move their holiday homes to other coastal towns once pirates steal from them.”
“Apparently not the Harrington's. They just leave me behind with demands to earn my own way and protect their furniture: Robin and I have checked, apparently they had gold coins sewn into some of it and more paintings hiding safes than any nefarious organisation. Come for tea and we'll start getting stuff moved aboard.” The offer seemed genuine, but Eddie still had the song in his mind, even as they worked together to get the ship tied in and boarding plank secure.
He shook his head. “Nice offer, stranger, but harbour master or not, I'm not accepting an offer like that, especially when you clearly recognise me but have given no name except one you don't seem to identify with.”
“I'm Steve, and it's probably better you and your crew do regardless. The Demeter crashed with her Captain dead, tied to the wheel. No one has figured out what happened aboard it except that its cargo was taken for final delivery before the constable could argue it as evidence.” Steve introduced, hopping aboard now and pulling out the paperwork Eddie had expected to have mentioned sooner. “I'll cover your fees whatever, and get it if you all prefer to guard your ship after that news.”
Eddie's back straightened, looking Steve over, before glancing back at his crew. He knew what types of things could do that, and was glad the warnings against strangers was already in the song if one had made it to this cursed town. “You're in the Harrington house? I'll talk with the crew and walk anyone willing to stay with you over this evening. It's best to stay in groups.”
“I'll be waiting by the door.” Steve laughed, accepting the now filled out paperwork back and waving as he left.
Before Eddie could actually start gathering his crew to share the information, a cheer rang out. On the starboard side most of the crew were hanging over the edge watching something, except the pair used to Whitby, who were closer to the captain and glancing over warily. “It's nothing to worry over yet, Captain. Just a caucus race.” Jeff muttered.
“And a few invites for tea from the mice as they ran off. It's nice that for a while we'll have a rodent free ship.” Gareth added, nodding further along the path where indeed a group of mice was running on only their back legs, grabbing rubbish and holding it up to see if it could become clothing as they went.
Eddie let out a heavy sigh. “We're definitely back in Whitby again. Apparently a monster of some kind is in town also. The ship you can see signs of crashing apparently crashed with the captain dead but tied to the wheel and no other crew aboard it. Steve offered to let us all stay with him, as well as steal everything from his home too.”
Jeff grinned, reaching out to tap Eddie gently, “Including himself?”
“Give over.”
/\/\
Eddie expected it from the moment they decided to raid Whitby. He knew something weird was coming.
He was not expecting to leave his cabin after planning with Gareth whether they should do more of a raid or just accept all the wealth Steve was willing to give them.
Earlier his crew had mostly decided to remain on the ship and Jeff had volunteered to explain more about Whitby as second mate while Gareth and Eddie did their planning. Now, well, now Eddie was pretty certain he wasn't the only one resolute on staying in the Harrington house until they were ready to leave.
Jeff had about half the crew behind him, swords and daggers in everyone's hands and pointed to the boarding plank. Further back on the ship was the rest of the crew, some pointing their weapons behind them, at a floating, grinning cats head, the rest pointing their weapons at the boarding plank.
“Captain! What do we do?” One of the men called over, moving as if to run over to him but stopped by Jeff moving his blade to block them.
“Stay in your groups, and focus on the stranger.” Eddie ordered. “Cheshire, are you just here to hang around or is there something you need?”
The cat's grin widened. “We're keeping an eye on your visitor. It's odd that he's come to you. He's been focusing on a lady visiting until now.”
“How lucky for us.” Eddie commented with a roll of his eyes. “You, who are you and why are you here?”
The stranger stepped closer. “I want passage to London from someone who won't ask questions.” Behind him an orange glow moved, a person deciding to carry their own lamp rather than just going about their evening walk by the street lamps.
“We're the wrong ship for you to chose then.” Eddie laughed, an imitation of the cruel laughter he heard merchants do moments before all their profits were lost to Eddie's crew. “Get off my ship or we'll dice you into mincemeat.”
An echoing laugh met his, the stranger straightening where he stood. “No I think you will accept me as a passenger for the wealth I can offer you.”
It was then that Eddie noticed two things, first was that this stranger, as dangerous as he seemed hadn't actually come onto his ship yet, and second the person with the lamp was now also on the boarding plank. He wasn't sure if they were friend or foe but the lamp held above the strangers head held threat, especially if the method of attack was burning the stranger. He still decided to say nothing about them.
“Got a pretty big offer for wealth already. Now I've stated my refusal of your passage and you can't change my mind. Leave.” He repeated the refusal, stepping forwards and finally drawing his own sword.
He'd had it blessed in one of the countries they moved between. Eddie had always been one for learning local stories and whether real or not would thank people for them by agreeing to take or buy whatever safety or luck charms were offered.
The blade had the stranger stumbling back so Eddie was inclined to believe the blessing had been legitimate. He was also inclined to rush over and grab Steve in a hug as before the fire from his lamp getting dropped on the stranger's head could reach the boarding plank or the ship he'd shoved them over into the water.
It meant the stranger would almost definitely survive to torment someone else, but at least that someone else wouldn't be Eddie or his crew.
“What are you doing here, Steve?” Eddie asked, refusing to let the other go and ignoring that it was probably uncomfortable and definitely a breach of social etiquette for such recent acquaintances.
Steve just laughed, “You never brought anyone to stay or even to tell me you preferred to stay on the ship. I thought Whitby had gotten to you.”
“Captain, is this the gentleman who offered for us to stay with him?” Gareth asked, clearing his throat and already knowing the answer. “Because I think after that situation, we'd all quite like to accept his offer.”
“Of course, come on. If your Captain will let me down, I'll lead you there. Does anyone need to grab anything before we set off?” Steve easily agreed, only tapping Eddie's shoulder but not actually trying to escape his hold.
Eddie shook his head into Steve's shoulder. “In the stealing from the Harrington's offer, does that include taking you with me when we leave?” He mumbled, not meaning to say it now, but after having Steve inadvertently save them he wasn't going to hold back the offer.
“Sure it does, but that's for talking about in a house with fires going if we aren't staying on your ship.” The words were enough Eddie let Steve go, searching his expression for sincerity which was all he saw, until a mischievous grin formed. “And kidnapping Robin. She'll come after us with murderous intent if only I'm taken.”
Eddie nodded, but another member of his crew clearing their throat reminded him they were meant to be heading back to the Harrington house. “Then lead the way.”
