#draco rambles

Dear Draco,

I feel like love is something that happens to other people. That we were never truly meant to be. We gave each other everything, and yet, we were pulled apart.

In another universe, perhaps we would be together. One where you kiss me hello every time you return from work, where ‘I love you’ is uttered every single night before we fall asleep and whispered to each other in the early morning light before the sleep has been brushed out of our eyes and the day has truly begun. A universe where we have a house, three kids (two boys and a girl) and a dog (a border collie). I think we’d like that – family dinners, story time in the evening putting the kids to bed. The whole shebang.

We almost had it.

Circumstances pulled us apart, Draco. And truthfully, I do not believe that there is any chance of us repairing our relationship – we flew too close to the sun, my love, even Icarus himself would not go as far as we did. Things went too far; words were said, regrets made, and tears shed.

I do not regret our relationship; you’ve given me some of the fondest memories that I’ll always look back on because that is all they are now – bittersweet, simple memories. Like last summer, we were already on rocky terms, only really talking to each other through the occasional letter where mundane things were discussed. Then one night, you surprised me falling through my open window – not a lot was spoken that night; only that you had driven a while and all you wanted to do was kiss me until the sun rose and you had to leave. I don’t think we surfaced from one another that night; we kissed until we ran out of oxygen, made love until we couldn't anymore.. You left the morning after with swollen lips and hickies covering your neck, but you were smiling. So was I, we were completely debauched, but we were smiling.

I did see a future with you; of course I did but then the war happened, and sides were chosen. Once the lines were drawn, it was clear that we were on opposite sides. I understand the circumstances around your choice, I truly do, but it is also important to understand why I couldn’t stay.

I miss you, and I will for a while. I’ll miss the kisses you pressed to the side of my head whenever you felt like it. I’ll miss all of your kisses. I’ll miss all of you; we had a good thing, Draco. We truly did.