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Jerri: We’re all getting “older” but age is a relative thing. I’ve licked things that are 250 million years old. You’re not that old and you’re not worth licking.
Dr. Ro: Jerri this is by far the most terrifying thing you’ve ever said
(Source: Tumblr)
^ The duality of Jackbox scientists.
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Dr. Ro: "For ages, dreams have been thought of as windows to another realm."
Dr. Ro: "Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again."
Dictionary Keeper: "Emily Dickinson wrote that."
Chuck: "Who?"
[REDACTED]: *long groan*
Dictionary Keeper: *facepalms, flips through some books* "Here's one you might know..." *clears throat*
Dictionary Keeper: "There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true."
(12:58 am, 1/10/2024)
^ I can FEEL their collective disappointment.
Cookie: "In 1930, Helene Adelaide Shelby patented an apparatus for obtaining criminal confessions."
Cookie: "The police put the suspect into a darkened chamber where they are confronted by a human skeleton with glowing red eyes that questions them with a voice transmitted from the interrogator behind it, through a megaphone in its mouth."
Cookie: "A camera concealed in the skull was to record the confessions."
Schmitty, Nate, Buzz and Guy: "WHAT?!"
[REDACTED]: "CONFESS YOUR SINS TO THE CRIME SKELETON!"
Dr. Ro: "For the record AND for the fact, this wasn't ACTUALLY ever fully-made. It was JUST patented. They DIDN'T actually try this out. There was NO WAY of this actually working!"
Dictionary Keeper: "But hey, considering back then, people weren't really suspicious of things like this and REALLY took things at face value, I WOULDN'T be surprised if it was SOMEWHAT effective."
(11:08 am, 1/10/2024)
^
Cookie: "Now, uh, in my humble opinion, using my very own handcrafted Munitions Measurement chart..."
Cookie: *pulls down a chart ranking various levels of explosives.*
Cookie: "I'd say this blast falls somewhere in the range of Oh Shit, We're Dead."
Dr. Ro: "Interesting, but let's use some REAL science now."
Cookie: "This IS real science! I tested REAL explosions and their REAL effects on REAL people, just like you would."
Cookie: *pulls chart away* "I'm a real scientist now." :P
Dr. Ro: "But that's... wait, REAL people?"
Dr. Ro: "Cookie... where are the interns?"
Cookie: !!!
Cookie: *stuttering* "HEY LOOK! I got you that coat that you wanted!"
Dr. Ro: "Ooo! Thank you!" *nuzzles* "Ah, it's so soft~"
Cookie: *under his breath* "So were the interns..."
Dr. Ro: "Why are you sad?"
[REDACTED]: "I don't know."
Dr. Ro: "So just for no reason?"
[REDACTED]: "Oh no, there are plenty of reasons. I'm just not sure which one it is this time."
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Dr. Ro: “[REDACTED], do you remember anything bad in your childhood that particularly stuck with you?”
[REDACTED]: “I guess... I kind of freaked out when they canceled my favorite ice cream.”
[REDACTED]: “And then I got attacked by a giant darkness monster. And I got trapped in a river and almost drowned. I lost control of my body and turned into a blob of shadows.”
[REDACTED]: “I almost turned so dark I died. [SECRET] almost died. Mom did die. [UNKNOWN] got murdered right in front of me. I woke up with a black eye stuck in a hospital-”
Dr. Ro: “[REDACTED], this is SERIOUS!”
[REDACTED]: “But... that was just the early stuff!”
Dr. Ro: “I think all these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress! And that’s affecting your ability to respond to NEW forms of stress in a healthy way!”
Dr. Ro: “You’ve been dealing with genuine threats from such a young age, your body is now responding to MINOR threats as if... your LIFE were in danger!”
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