#doominate host

(Context: Binjpipe had taken Cookie Masterson’s life, and then he meets Jim Reaper in Hell) Jim Reaper: *Magically summons a scroll* Now, let’s see… Ah yes. “Cookie”. Surname? Cookie: Masterson. Jim Reaper: “Masterson”… *his scroll magically disappears* Oh, bloody hell, you would have to be of the Masterson family, wouldn’t you? Cookie: *shrugs* Why? Is there a problem with that? Jim Reaper: Well, yes there is, actually! It’s like those bloody cats. Such a pain in the ass. You’re one of these “special cases”. Cookie, flattered: Oh, really? Jim Reaper: Yes, apparently, according to the “Powers that be”— I’m just doing my job. I do what I’m told. I don’t even get paid very much. —Apparently, members of your family can have as many lives as they think they can get away with. Cookie: Oh, I see. So I’m not dead? Jim Reaper: You’re dead, but not quite. Cookie: Ah, right, well, I’ll be off, then! Jim Reaper: Ah- *slams scythe down* JUST YOU WAIT! SMARTASS! *pulls scythe back out of ground* You don’t get out of it that easily. Now, the thing is, you may not be dead, but that doesn’t mean you can’t die. You just have a few more, shall we say… chances. yeah. Like cats, I hate those things! Right, distributed around the party packs are these screw-things, Magic screws. If you can get them, I’ll give you an extra chance. Understand? Cookie: Um, well, sounds a bit strange, but, okay! Jim Reaper: STRANGE?! IT’S THE BEST BLOODY DEAL YOU’RE GOING TO GET, YOU LITTLE PRICK! Right, that’s it, piss off! I’ve got some cats to see.

Jim Reaper: *throws down a comically large bag of money* Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived

Jim Reaper: Welcome mortal to the end of existence— oh it’s you again!