the shinzo abe doohickey is still the funniest shit in the world to me
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the shinzo abe doohickey is still the funniest shit in the world to me

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Your mom doesnt like you? What happened? :(
JD: Hey, don't ask me. She's the one who left us, heh... uh, I remember our consellor sayin' stuff about parents who like the idea of having kids more than the idea of actually bein' a parent, which I think makes sense for her.
...I don't really miss her that much. But it would've been nice to have her around more, y'know?
Hey Doohickey, you often bark in arguments? Little birdie told me you literally barked at your boss when he fired you?
JD: ...maybe.
...look, it's kinda funny, alright? Gets people's attention. Try it, I dare you.
No wonder Doohickey is crushing so hard,
Piercings are fucking sick! -...right, jd?
JD: (Sighs) I'm not crushing on Kit's ex... but yeah, piercings are cool. Uh, don't tell him I said that.
Hmmm...so what is your type jd? Other than motormouth assholes of course.....
JD: (Sighs, points to Clancy) That one, apparently. So, blondes, maybe? Or... nerds, I guess. I remember liking one of my first crushes 'cause she beat me at a science fair and I thought that was cool. Whatever it is, that clown apparently falls into it, and nobody's as mad about it as I am.

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After a rough case
Doohickey: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three. Doohickey: One... two... three. Clancy: ... Doohickey: ... Doohickey: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.
OoOh~ someone’s in trouble~
(It’s Cindy.)
JD: Really? I got no clue what's goin' on with them, and Clancy ain't talking, either. Hope it's nothing too bad.
How old are you???
I swear, you pass as both 20 and 40 at the same time
JD: (Gawks) Fuckin' rude! I'm only thirty-one, Jesus. Kit's thirty-three. Pshh, forty. Who'd you think we are?