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From cory ***** to Me ill give you $600 cash for your tv From Me to cory ***** Sounds good! When can you come get it? From cory ***** to Me where do you live? From Me to cory ***** **** ******* From cory ***** to Me well ya i know that but like whats your address From Me to cory ***** I'm not telling you that. Sorry, but I just don't trust people from the internet. From cory ***** to Me well do you want to deliver it to my place? From Me to cory ***** And get kidnapped? I don't think so. Here's how it is going down: We'll meet Sunday afternoon in a crowded part of town. Lets say High St, by the courthouse. I'll be walking towards Market St and you'll be walking away from it at precisely 1:00 (when the courthouse clock goes off.) Have a black suitcase ready with $600 in unmarked, non-sequential US twenty-dollar bills. I'll have a suitcase as well, and be wearing a black suit. Tell me what you plan on wearing. We will accidentally bump into each other, drop our suitcases, and pick up the other person's suitcase and continue walking. The suitcase you pick up will have a key inside it to a 1998 Ford Econoline that will be parked on Miner Street. Use the key to open the back of the van, which will have the TV inside of it. Take the TV, and leave the key in the van. You will be watched so don't try anything funny. If the suitcase does not have $600 in it, the van will be destroyed. Does this work for you? From cory ***** to Me no wtf From Me to cory ***** why not?

From Me to *********@********.org: Hello, Are you still looking for a trap for cats? Mike From Deb ******* to Me: Yes I am can you help me? From Me to Deb *******: I most certainly can! I believe this trap is for those who want to "have a heart." I used it to catch a stray cat that kept coming into my garage. It is called the KittyHugger. All you have to do is put some cat food on the trigger, and when the cat comes to eat it, the trap gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat until you come back to deal with the little guy. Please let me know if this will work. Mike From Deb ******* to Me: Mike- I have never heard of a trap like that. I was referring to the "Havahart" traps...you know like the cages for animals?? Do you have any pictures of the trap? I'd like to see how it works before I get it. Thanks. From Me to Deb *******: Absolutely. I've attached a picture of it. Sorry if it is a little messy; I haven't cleaned the trap in a while. Attachment: From Deb ******* to Me: YOU'RE SICK! From Me to Deb *******: Excuse me?  From Deb ******* to Me: You killed that poor cat OMG From Me to Deb *******: I didn't kill the cat. I told you it was a little messy. The last cat I caught knocked over the bowl of juice I gave him so he wouldn't get thirsty. As you can see, it made quite the mess. I assure you this trap is 100% safe and humane. From Deb ******* to Me: IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT SAFE. IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD From Me to Deb *******:  You've clearly never seen a juice spill before. You have a twisted imagination if you think that is blood. I guess you don't want the trap. Before you give up on me, I have one more trap you may be interested in. I actually think it is one of those Have a Heart traps you were talking about, though I've never heard it called that.  Please see the attachments. As you can see from the pictures, the kitty will have plenty of room to be safe and comfortable. It comes with a black tube at the end that is used to pump warm air into the cage to keep him warm while he waits to be released.  I'm sorry I didn't have time to clean the trap. It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere! Mike Attachment: From Deb ******* to Me: Wow can't you read the ad you sick jerk? I DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM How you managed to turn that trap into a bloody mess is a mystery to me but keep the hell away from me!!!

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From Me to ***********@verizon.net: Hey there, I have an old Blu-Ray player I don't use anymore. Are you interested? Mike From Cathy ******** to Me: Yes I am very much interested! What brand is the player and is it free? From Me to Cathy ********: Cathy, It is a Samsung player, and whether it is free or not depends on you...how many prayers are we talking about here? Mike From Cathy ******** to Me: I will say many prayers for you! From Me to Cathy ********: Yeah, I got that. Specifically, how many prayers? This Blu-Ray player wasn't cheap. I'm thinking, 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys every day for a year. Does that sound good? Mike From Cathy ******** to Me: Mike, the quantity of prayers is not important - it is the sincerity and power of the prayer that matters. I will be genuinely thankful and show this through my prayers! From Me to Cathy ********: Sorry, but I'm not settling for anything less than 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys per day. The last guy I gave my plasma TV to gave me that "sincere prayer" crap but I don't it worked at all. My wife's breasts still aren't bigger and my lottery tickets still aren't winning. The only thing that matters is the amount of prayers that you say. It is your choice; 100 prayers a day or no blu-ray player. Mike From Cathy ******** to Me: I think you are misunderstanding the purpose of prayer. Surely you can't expect me to say that many prayers - it would take all day! From Me to Cathy ********: I'm willing to cut you a deal, Cathy. I'll only ask for 50 prayers a day, but in return, you have to come say grace whenever I eat dinner. I'll accept you saying grace for me over the phone if I happen to be eating at a drive-thru fast food place. I'll also throw in my copy of "Drag Me to Hell" on Blu-Ray. Mike From Cathy ******** to Me: Please stop. You are being preposterous. From Me to Cathy ********: Cathy, My apologies. I guess you are right, I am asking for a bit too much. Here's what I'll do. I'll go by what my priest made me do the last time I confessed to stealing a Blu-Ray player. He made me say 20 Hail Marys and 10 Our Fathers, but I think the Our Fathers were because I pistol-whipped a guy while I was stealing it. Since I didn't have to pistol-whip anyone this time, I'll give it to you for only 20 Hail Marys. How does this sound? This is practically face value in prayer. Mike From Cathy ******** to Me: Oh my lord, you have lost your mind! I will get a bluray player elsewhere.

Original ad:  **** Disguisable weapons wanted **** Wanted: hidden blades, belt buckle knives, cane swords, etc..... Offering: cash, items for barter From Me to **********@***********.org: Hey, I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices. Thanks, Mike From Jeff ****** to Me: I am. lets see what you got. From Me to Jeff ******: Jeff, Here you go: Looks like a normal spoon, right? Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon. I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it. Mike From Jeff ****** to Me: that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time. From Me to Jeff ******:  Jeff, I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.  Mike From Jeff ****** to Me: fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can fuck off. From Me to Jeff ******: Jeff, Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love: At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo. Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit. This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box. Let me know if you want any of these items. Thanks, Mike From Jeff ****** to Me: youre a fucking dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, retarded dipshit. you prob walk around with that shit too you dumb mother fucker. I hope you get hit by a car. fuck off, eat shit, and die. 

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