#dontcrygators

Yeah it’s a shame I already forgot it.

I mean, it’s not like they could teach it in your senior year, y’know, when teens NEED to know that stuff.

dontcrygators asked you: if he did that with his cursed hand would it be a hand job or a blow job

(It’s true! I’m of the opinion that - movie Thorin at least - has no idea how to actually read maps or follow directions. He kept asking Gandalf throughout the film, “Where are you taking us?!” when, clearly, if he had read and understood a map of Middle Earth, at least West of Erebor, he would have known where they were going. I think his idea of following a map is knowing which direction he has to travel in, leading with feigned confidence as if he actually knows where they’re going, and then being pleasantly surprised when he happens upon obvious landmarks that tell him he’s going in the right direction.

Besides, he’s a burden-laden prince with more important things to do than properly learn his maps. I bet he spent his time as a youngster nodding off when Thrain tried to teach him how to properly read maps. Or he just said, “I understand!” and he thought he did, and yet the next day when he unrolled a map to look at it, he just kind of stared blankly like, “this all made sense yesterday! Surely it’s changed. I thought those mountains were further south?”

Much the same way I understand math, really. By which I mean I don’t.

I think, much like how he plans adventures, he doesn’t really know how to reconcile the fact that the journey on paper and in thought is different from the physical reality. However, “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it” doesn’t really apply to map-reading and navigation (unless in fact he’s burning or crossing actual bridges), so instead Thorin is just glad there are people in his company who can read maps, and Gandalf there to lead them when they can’t.

is having women flock to you for clothing advice and wanting shop with you and generally treating you like that a privilege

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iS MY BOY COMING HOME