#donkov

                                                                                        “The Poet”

                                                                                              By

                                                                                  Donnie Donkov

 The poet was sitting in his chair with a pen in his hand

And a glass of red wine beside him

He was staring at the empty sheets

The curtains on the window were wide open

His was waiting for an inspiration

The previous night he noticed something weird in the mirror

His hair was turning grey very fast these days

For the first time in his life he felt mortal

He couldn’t sleep all night, thinking

Trying to remember the past

He realized too many things just for one night

That the better part of his life is gone

That his life, interesting or not, was wasted

Some very important things were missing from it

He thought that he should write some kind of memoirs or autobiography

But he was sitting in front of the empty sheets

And couldn’t remember the most part of his past

He didn’t know from where to begin

Which was his first memory that mattered?

The poet was so confused

He was stuck, for the first time he was stuck

He couldn’t believe it at first

Outside was too dark to see because of the storm

The poet liked storms

He thought this was a sign

His eyes were filled with tears

What now?

If there is nothing more in his life from now on

He thought that he must be too depressed

From his own thoughts to write

He felt old

He stood up and went to the mirror again

He started to stare at it

His eyes and his mind were 20 years older than his body

All his life he knew that he is different from everybody else

He always felt older than the others around him

And that was why he started to write in the first place

He couldn’t speak normally with anyone else

Except his sheets

He went back to his chair

He took a sip from the wine and tried to concentrate

How he could forget so many things, he thought

And those things which he remembered

Were massy and he didn’t know which one happened when

Then suddenly something happened

He remembered

All of his memories attacked him like a punch in his face

All at the same time

He started to cry, he cried couple of times in his whole life

The more he remembered the more he cried

How could he miss so many opportunities to be happy?

Maybe he missed them on purpose

He didn’t want to be happy

Or maybe he couldn’t be happy

In a such world, times of confusion, war and so much hypocrisy

Maybe because no one understood him

He didn’t think anymore for the reason

It was pointless now

He wiped his tears, drank from the wine again

And started to write

He was writing and writing, without a break for hours

He was writing like he never wrote a word in his life so far

It was weird and new for him

He looked from the window

The storm was gone, but it was still dark

He wondered what time it was

Not that it mattered

But when he saw the clock he realized

He wrote all day and part of the night

He looked at his sheets again

Those people he wrote about from his past

Were strangers, he didn’t know them

He didn’t know them at all

He has changed too much

He was alone too much time

He thought, was that good or bad?

It didn’t matter at the time

He continued to write

It was like an adventure to him

A new exiting adventure

The poet closed his eyes

And fell in some kind of trance

He looked around, he was by the sea

This was a memory, he was 21 again

Beside him was a girl, holding his hand

He looked at her

The girl was his greatest love

The love of his life

His mate soul

He wanted to marry her, he remembered

How the things got so ugly through the time?

The whole world got ugly

It was unbelievable for him

It wasn’t a dream or hallucination

Just a vivid memory

He remembered how much they loved each other

And his eyes filled with tears again

But then like a thunder it stroke him

He didn’t remember her

He didn’t know anymore as well

How could this be? That was impossible!

He remembered where they have been,

What they did when they were together

How happy they were most of the time

He remembered only the good times

But he forgot who she really was

Especially the little things

Voice, face, smell, laughter again

But unfortunately it was true

He forgot her as well

Maybe she forgot him too

She must had changed too

The same time passed for her as well

He calculated how old she is now

He turned and looked at the phone

He still remembered her number by heart

He shook his head

She continued her life

She may had a husband and kids by now

And lives somewhere else, even in another country maybe

Then another thunder came

He remembered why they broke up

What he had done to her

He couldn’t believe he was the same person

He felt like he was broke inside

And if he was broke now,

How broke must she had been back than

He realized he ruined his own life, leaving hers

He took another bottle of wine and opened it

Took a sip from it and wrote all of his thoughts

He had to go on writing

Now he needed to

This was his confession

After a while he suddenly stopped

He needed more than a muse

Then opened a drawer

And found a picture of her in a frame in it

He cleaned the dust from it and put it on the desk

He continued writing

It was morning again

Outside was sunny

He finally wrote what he needed to

From now on it should be easy, he thought

Then smiled thinking that if he publishes this

She may read it

He was so tired from all the emotions

Finally he got up and went to his bed,

Thinking about her

Somehow he was sure she was happy now

That was the important thing

He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Man: Shhhhh, BE QUIET!

Girl: But why, I speak only the truth

Man: Exactly, you shouldn’t do that!

Girl: I shouldn’t speak the truth?

Man: No, not ever, not to anyone, EVER, even if you know it,

just keep it to yourself. Even if you think you trust someone,

don’t. Don’t trust anyone! Nobody knows no one.

Girl: But why I shouldn’t speak the truth?

Man: Do you see that man over there behind the bars?

Girl: Yes, I see him. What’s wrong with him?

Man: He spoke the truth, loudly, to a lot of people.

That’s why he’s now in this little cage, away from all others.

Now he’s weak, beaten, tortured, he’s just a shadow…

everybody says he’s crazy.

He lost everything – his friends, his family… everything.

He’s all alone and always will be.

He will never get out of this cage

and never see another living soul for the rest of his life.

People banished him,

locked him in this little cage and threw away the key.

Girl: Why would they do that?

Man: Because people are scared and mean.

Girl: Scared of what?

Man: The truth!

They are ugly inside

and they don’t want anyone to see or know that.

Even I am ugly inside, but I don’t want to know it,

I don’t want to realize it.

Girl: You’re not ugly!

Man: You’ll see. Now that you told me the truth

I can always take advantage of you.

Girl: You wouldn’t do that!

Man: Everybody does. Every normal person.

And so will I if it will make my life better, and others’ worse

Girl: I can’t believe that!

Man: I can’t help it I am HUMAN!

Girl: No!!!

Man: So remember. From now on don’t tell the truth,

to anybody, ever and maybe someday you will become like me.

Look how free I am! My cage is so BIG, it’s HUGE,