#doingjustfine

tonight in between errands and spells of rain i came home to two angry cats and my much-beloved roommate. both of us observed, there was no cat food. there was no cat food because i had broken my most reliable pair of sunglasses and had to rush out immediately to Forever 21 to replace them with the most reasonable facsimile i could find. and also spend an unnecessary (but necessary) ten dollars on a new makeup bag. 

but a new makeup bag can’t feed my cats, you know? and they know that, even though they are cats, and would probably eat anything. they would probably eat me if i laid still for long enough. but they can’t subsist on makeup or sunglasses, and i was so completely obsessed with makeup and sunglasses at the time that i completely forgot about cats.

this is an accomplishment, okay?

but the point is, my cats were hungry and then it struck me...i have to buy them food for like a month. so i rushed out dutifully to the pit of hell (Echo Park Vons) and bought like, i don’t know...20 pounds of dry cat food and some other sundry....you know, just trying to prepare my cats for the FUTURE, trying to do the right thing for my soon-to-be-estranged four-legged adopted children. so i’ve got like 40 pounds of cat food, cat litter, and wine happening (the only thing missing from this embarrassing grocery list is, let’s be real, tampons and a fucking Hershey bar),

and just as i think i’m pulling this off without comment, 

the checkout girl is like,

“uhhh, how many cats do you have?”

and i’m like,

“two cats!! i only have two cats! i’m going to be out of town for a month but i swear i only have TWO CATS.”