#dogturds

everything worth saying about castlevania 2 has pretty much been said at this point. anyone who thinks they have anything new or insightful to add to the discussion of castlevania 2 is totally stupid.

ok, that being said, there’s one thing I gotta say about this piece of garbage. the game is constantly reminding you of two important details: 1. you have a curse and 2. that it is a bad night to have a curse

which is probably true. however, what I have never really understood is why this curse is so awful, and why this night is making it so much more unbearable. as far as I can tell, the symptoms of simon’s curse are pretty much exclusively that towns have zombies in them instead of people.

but then it’s morning and everything goes back to exactly what it was like before.

I guess this is kind of annoying if you were hoping to go inside of a house and buy some laurel, but like - it’s more inconvenient than horrible. simon is really bent out of shape about this curse thing, but honestly it’s like medium bad.

like to me, a really fucked up curse is where like you turn into a gross fishman or maybe like everything you try to eat turns into dog turds or something. that’s a real bad night for a curse, i’d say. if everything I ate was dog turds, you bet I’d be tryna vanquish dracula. I’d be like dude u gotta let up on these turds.

simon, y'all don’t know how good u got it, dude

my dog / is old

  he had diarrhea / last week

  all over the rug / so my brother

  put paper towels / over the squishy mounds

  and said its easier to clean poops / when they are dry