#dogkiller

Oppose Dog Worship

When I was three years old, my parents didn't adopt a puppy. As we grew up together, me and that absence became best friends; we were completely inseparable. I remember coming home every day from preschool all the way through to my first year of university, . It was an irreplaceable member of the family, as intrinsic to my life as my parents or my no brothers; beloved by us all. One day, while we were visiting a family friend, their dog walked into the dining room where we were eating. It was a moment I'll never forget. The hole in my life I had treasured so long was poured full of wet concrete, already beginning to solidify into solid, unwavering grief - I watched my life's greatest joy get snuffed out in an instant. Not here one moment, gone the next. We left soon after, and my beloved absence was replaced, but it wasn't the same. Things could never go back to the way they used to not be. That was the single worst day of my life, but as it turns out we were very lucky; a great many doglessnesses don't get to persist nearly as long as ours did. Every day, there are dogs existing in spaces where they might not be, all over the world. Since this incident I have become highly attuned to the senseless, inherent creation dogs wreak wherever they are, and my subsequent horror has motivated me to take drastic action. My #dogkiller initiative is vital for the conservation of the dwindling population of no dogs worldwide, and I believe that the tides of public opinion will soon turn in my favour. When I'm up in heaven reading the textbooks of the future, I hope to see you on the right side of history. Thank you for your understanding. My wife, gaping at her labradoodle's fresh corpse in stupefied silence: