Unfortunately, as you know, I want to rub my penis on everything in sight. I’m like 85% of men in show business: I’m a monster. Comedy clubs in New York keep offering me sets. It’s a real problem. I am a dog. I cannot do stand up. I am getting sidetracked, but I guess that is common with dogs. . My point is I am very horny. . Now, we all know that you get very angry when I hump most things. I have noticed, however, that I do not get yelled at when I hump certain things. When I hump your leg or a lamp, you yell at me. That I understand. Boundaries are good. Your leg and lamp are off limits. Plus, the lamp is too skinny to get any purchase on anyways. . The time I pinned down your toddler nephew and humped him. That got me kicked. I understand completely. You explained pedophilia to me. He’s 3. I’m also 3, just multiplied by 7. It’s just not meant to be. I’m sorry I made him cry and also that you had to wash his shirt after that incident. So, it seems the first rule is not to hump things that belong to you. The leg belongs to you. The lamp also belongs to you. The child belongs to you I think, though I am not entirely sure how children work. @declanbcross #doghumping #doggo #dogsofinstagram #humpday🐫 #dogrules https://www.instagram.com/p/BsbZLZUnrq1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=146sefxvlmiap
