Ppl r shipping Rodrick w Regina George on TikTok and I immediately thought about ur fics 😭💖
OH MY GODDDD YES BITCH. WE SHARE A BRAIN CELL. AND A FOR YOU PAGE. I swear to god as SOON as I saw those edits I went apeshit.
Listen my usual hyperfeminine!reader is very much an Elle Woods archetype. She’s bubblegum pink and perfectly bottle blonde, but most importantly, she does no harm and takes no shit.
But the Regina George type of hyperfem!reader??? WHOLE other ballgame.
You make Heather Hills look demure. You’re prettier than her, you have better fashion sense than her, you’re WAY more manipulative than her, and you know how to seize and maintain control over the masses.
Rodrick knows this would sound bad, but he doesn’t care. If you started a cult he’d so join. He should like the grungy emo alt girls - not that there’s many of them at Crossland High either - and like… yeah. They’re fine. They’re hot and stuff.
But the second he smells an early 2000s barbie doll possessed by satan itself???? He is COOKED. He is brain dead and chubbed up and drooling. Maybe it’s because he only has brothers, maybe it’s because he just reeks of feral teenage boy pheromones that tend to scare off girls. Another factor is almost definitely his mom, which we’re not even TOUCHING on right now. Actually just a little. Susan is so preoccupied with her book club and her mommy and me classes with Manny that she’s let that become her entire personality. Not just that, but she’s all bluster. Rodrick might think he’s bad at school, Greg and his parents might think he’s dumb (he’s literally not btw he’s just very dyslexic, depressed, and has raging undiagnosed ADHD that he medicates with monster energy) but Rodrick is clever. Rodrick knows exactly how to manipulate his family, his teachers, everyone around him so they expect from him just what he wants them to expect from him.
The lower others expectations are, the more he can focus on what’s actually fulfilling and important to him. His music.
Susan doesn’t scare him. Teachers don’t scare him. Jocks don’t really scare him either if he’s being honest, he kind of thinks it’s funny to take the piss out of them, and he knows JUST where the line is so he doesn’t end up getting his shit rocked by half the varsity football team.
Usually. He’s very good at pulling the whole “c’mon I’m just a lil birthday boyyyyy” bit and diffusing at the last possible second. He finds it very entertaining.
So you roll up in your little prada heels and coach purse with a yappy little purse dog sticking out??? You with your meticulously matched manicure and pedicure, your 37 step hair routine, your little pink miniskirts and everything in your signature scent??? You have a pink flip phone with a lipgloss keychain charm for fuck’s sake.
You have two things that Rodrick craves more than anything. Raw, unbridled feminine energy (like ridiculous amounts. It’s fully saturated in everything, every aspect of your life, every choice and decision is made to max out the girliness of each detail of your life. I’m talking pink paperclips.) The second thing you have is being fucking terrifying to him. One halfhearted glance from you puts Susan’s worst mom glare to complete and utter shame. You’re hot AND intimidating AND girly in a way that just scrambles his brain.
He’s fully in “you could step on me and I’d thank you” territory. He DAYDREAMS about you yelling at him and insulting him and always ends up hard from it.
Rodrick would happily be your lapdog. He’ll drive around and pick up your drycleaning, take your evil little dog to the groomers, he’ll go to the fucking lipbalm shelter if you tell him to. Just so he can get a little bit of your attention, just to be on your mind a fraction of the amount you’re on his.