#doawk drabbles

so if you do still write for him (ignore if you dont <3) maybe some headcanons of them after the prom? 😋

(devon bostick is so FINE)

OH MY GODDDD YES BITCH. WE SHARE A BRAIN CELL. AND A FOR YOU PAGE. I swear to god as SOON as I saw those edits I went apeshit. 

Listen my usual hyperfeminine!reader is very much an Elle Woods archetype. She’s bubblegum pink and perfectly bottle blonde, but most importantly, she does no harm and takes no shit. 

But the Regina George type of hyperfem!reader??? WHOLE other ballgame. 

You make Heather Hills look demure. You’re prettier than her, you have better fashion sense than her, you’re WAY more manipulative than her, and you know how to seize and maintain control over the masses. Rodrick knows this would sound bad, but he doesn’t care. If you started a cult he’d so join. He should like the grungy emo alt girls - not that there’s many of them at Crossland High either - and like… yeah. They’re fine. They’re hot and stuff. 

But the second he smells an early 2000s barbie doll possessed by satan itself???? He is COOKED. He is brain dead and chubbed up and drooling. Maybe it’s because he only has brothers, maybe it’s because he just reeks of feral teenage boy pheromones that tend to scare off girls. Another factor is almost definitely his mom, which we’re not even TOUCHING on right now. Actually just a little. Susan is so preoccupied with her book club and her mommy and me classes with Manny that she’s let that become her entire personality. Not just that, but she’s all bluster. Rodrick might think he’s bad at school, Greg and his parents might think he’s dumb (he’s literally not btw he’s just very dyslexic, depressed, and has raging undiagnosed ADHD that he medicates with monster energy) but Rodrick is clever. Rodrick knows exactly how to manipulate his family, his teachers, everyone around him so they expect from him just what he wants them to expect from him. 

Nothing. 

The lower others expectations are, the more he can focus on what’s actually fulfilling and important to him. His music. 

Susan doesn’t scare him. Teachers don’t scare him. Jocks don’t really scare him either if he’s being honest, he kind of thinks it’s funny to take the piss out of them, and he knows JUST where the line is so he doesn’t end up getting his shit rocked by half the varsity football team. 

Usually. He’s very good at pulling the whole “c’mon I’m just a lil birthday boyyyyy” bit and diffusing at the last possible second. He finds it very entertaining. 

So you roll up in your little prada heels and coach purse with a yappy little purse dog sticking out??? You with your meticulously matched manicure and pedicure, your 37 step hair routine, your little pink miniskirts and everything in your signature scent??? You have a pink flip phone with a lipgloss keychain charm for fuck’s sake. 

You have two things that Rodrick craves more than anything. Raw, unbridled feminine energy (like ridiculous amounts. It’s fully saturated in everything, every aspect of your life, every choice and decision is made to max out the girliness of each detail of your life. I’m talking pink paperclips.) The second thing you have is being fucking terrifying to him. One halfhearted glance from you puts Susan’s worst mom glare to complete and utter shame. You’re hot AND intimidating AND girly in a way that just scrambles his brain. 

He loves it.

He’s obsessed with it. 

He’s fully in “you could step on me and I’d thank you” territory. He DAYDREAMS about you yelling at him and insulting him and always ends up hard from it. 

roddy has graduated from exclusively calling you shorty and shawty to calling you his backpack. he figured out you can carry stuff in your bra or non skin tight jeans or whatever and now insists on having you carry his stuff in exchange for piggy backs. it made you giggle like an idiot for a while, but then you started to grow really fond of it. no more barely being able to hear each other in crowds, no more getting fucking scoliosis from trying to kiss each other. now you're right there, chin on his shoulder talking and kissing him all day long. his big buff tatted (don't tell susan) drummer's arms can carry you like it's nothing, no matter how insecure you get about it. even if you get insecure he will literally start pick you up and flipping you like a swing dancer at a wedding so much that it makes your husband unable to recognize a pig in a nixon mask. (0:57)

you and roddy generally have such an april and andy vibe that if you do pull a sweater swap 1:27 his stretched out old loded diper shirt practically comes down to your knees and and your shirt barely coveres his nipples (which are also pierced. seriously don't tell susan.) he thinks you always look so pretty because he always sees you from that high up angle that makes you look all cute and adorable. he loves just pulling you into his lap and burying his face in your hair that's always so soft and smells like your shampoo and conditioner and on occasion that grape hair dye smell. roddy will always be the first to call out those "omg I'm so tiny and short and little!!!!" pick me girls. he takes so much pleasure in being like hmmm.... nah. they try to flirt with him, they put their hands against his and he sees through that shit in a second. he pushes the heel of their hand so it's actually level with his and chuckles.

"my shawty's fingers barely come up to here..." he laughs. I stand firm in my statement that he will place his hand on a pick me girl's head and line it up with him and be like "nah, my baby's way shorter and is actually short, I think you're just average height lol"

Like I'm reading your writing and how am I NOT supposed to fall in love??

Your stuff is amazing 😭💖💖

Instantly lost.

awww thank you anon. it is in fact my fault that you have a big old squishy crush and I am quite pleased about that.

you'll be pleased to know that rodrick also has a big old squishy crush on you. every time he sees ou he lets out this big dramatic shuddering sigh like you just took his breath away (because tbh you did. he can't deny it.) he does all the crushing shit too. he stares at you in class instead of paying attention but the teachers don't really care bc he probably wouldn't be paying attention anyway.

he doodles angsty song lyrics and emo stickfigures that are supposed to be you and him but really look like something excavated from the ruins of myspace. he has a whole playlist of songs that make him think of you, but there's one in particular that he imagines is your song. at any given moment he's probably lost in some daydream about you and him, about you suddenly having an extreme need to learn the drums for some reason, so Rodrick sits you on his lap and wraps his arms around you and holds your soft hands in his as he shows you how to play. you're so impressed with his wicked drum skills that you can't help but give him a thank you kiss (or several) after he shows you how to play the pierce the veil song that's been stuck in his head.