#dnc elections

      I have been struggling with how to deal with Bernie’s recent losses. I have no idea at this point if there is a path to victory still or not. I have avoided as much information as possible to protect my mental health, so I’m a little lost. I have been getting most info from Bernie himself. He’s still fighting, but I’m not quite sure he’s fighting to win the election anymore, or to push Biden further left. Which would mean I would need to come to the understanding the we have indeed lost this election to the establishment.  Being positive or hopeful has been a struggle, of which I’m losing. I don’t know If I should be holding on to hope for Bernie still to win this or I should be accepting this as he’s losing. Losing is winning out here.

     At this point I am just deciding to accept that he has lost. There is nothing telling me otherwise that there is still a chance. It would take a massive miracle at this point. So now I’m looking for perspective. We have come a long way. The progressive fight never believed we’d make it here. Soon someone else will take up the fight, and we will be one step closer to winning, now that more people are more educated then ever before. Bernie is winning the popular vote, the ideological and moral fight. But he has lost like he said, the electability debate. 

     I can come to terms with Bernie losing, that’s ok, my issue now more, is Biden most likely losing to Trump, and we are to lose the house and senate to the GOP. We won’t be coming back from that for a long time. Bernie now has to convince all the people who the DNC establishment abused and burned once again, just like 2016, to vote for there candidates in the 2020 elections. Bernie failed in 2016 to get people to do that, can he actually achieve this in 2020? He has to, he needs to, but I’ve also said that he has and needs to win as well, and he hasn’t been able to do that. I am afraid. Lives and freedom depend on these moments now, and I am afraid. 

     Despite my fears, I am in awe of Senator Sanders. 50+ years of activism, and he has never backed down. I look to his strength in the fight for freedom and a dream. Despite the impossibilities laid before him. The mountains he has overcome. The corruption of the DNC and GOP establishment is astronomical and powerful. Yet, Bernie has persisted. He has inspired a new generation of activists, and progressive fighters. He has changed the dialog in this country. The majority of the people are waking, even if some have got it wrong, or still don’t quite understand, Bernie’s message has reached them. 

     Medicare for all, a green new deal, a living wage, justice reform, free education, and ect... have all been heard and to an extent, understood. The genie can’t be put back in the bottle, the establishment can no longer hide it’s corruption like before. We have come far. That gives me hope. People like AOC, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib , and others give me hope. The majority of the American people who support Bernie over Biden and Trump gives me hope despite the corruption of delegate math, there are more people. We are the majority, fighting a corrupt system. 

     I am awakening from the matrix more and more each day, and it’s terrifying. The world of the real is traumatizing.  Everything I have enjoyed is owned by the wealthiest in the world who happen to also be the most corrupt. From Hollywood to the material. From food to music. Technology to social media. Everything we use and need is owned by those who oppress us. My views on celebrity has changed. I have never trusted the media, which also owned by the wealth class. Now all I can do is continue to evolve, and come to terms with what I can control, and what I can do. Like shutting out the establishment.

     Shedding the things this corrupt society has taught me is necessary. Training myself to let go of the immaterial. To become more practical, to invest in more basic of needs. As I continue on this journey of enlightenment, truth, and painful existential crisis, I must continue to grow in knowledge and perspective. To control what I can control, and let go of what I cannot. I am putting now, my trust in Bernie, and this movement, to the majority of us. We may lose this election, but we will not lose this fight. We have already won that war on the ideological front, now we just have to make it a reality. We are going to lose, we are going to hurt, people are going to die, pain and suffering is the causality of this war, and this is a war! But we must keep going, until we can’t any longer. We must hope, and we must dream again.

  I am very nervous for today. I have ignored everything politics as much as I could to not be triggered. I already voted for Bernie today. Biden very clearly has a mental decline. Trump will destroy him if Biden get’s the nomination. The DNC establishment can’t/won’t be able to hide it. There won’t be anything anyone can do to get people to vote Biden in the general. We are in trouble if Biden get’s the nomination. From where I left off in knowing what’s going on, I’m shocked so many people didn’t or doesn’t understand this.

    Some people I saw seem to think they will easily be able to continue to fight for the things they care about if Biden wins the nom, or lose to Trump. That everything will be normal as always and you can’t just politic as per usual. If Trump wins, we won’t be coming back from this for a very long time, and there will be so much damage to our democracy, freedoms, health, well being, rights, and destruction of our country. People will die more than they already do, and the country will take massive steps backwards through history in the worst way. The supreme court is at stake most of all, and once we lose that, it’s game over.

     This isn’t a game. And people are being irrational. So much ignorance and privilege on display. I hope this movement is working. I know it’s a bit different than 2016, but it still feels too much like 2016 all over again, and it has me worried. Bernie needs to win big today. The way some people are acting, it seems like it’s a long shot. I don’t understand why this movement isn’t enough. Why people power isn’t working. What will it take? If climate change, the coronavirus, a near recession, a spike in racial and lgbt+ tension, decline of women’s rights, and a criminal of a president isn’t enough, then what will it take? 

     This election isn’t over, but if Bernie hits a plurality, the DNC may still this from us. There’s so many grenades, and we are truly in a fight for our lives and freedoms. So much is at stake. And too many people in my opinion are too calm. That’s what worries me. The jadedness of people this movement still hasn’t reached. This movement should be so much bigger, but if feels so much smaller than it should be. God speed to all of us. I just don’t know where to go from here if we lose, if Trump wins. What happens next? I’m trying to not get ahead of myself, we haven’t lost yet, but the thoughts are there. Haunting me. Let this movement be enough. Let 2020 be different. A time of real change.