#dlp2017

DISNEYLAND PARK

 FANTASYLAND

 Sleeping Beauty’s Castle

At Disneyland Paris the castle is Sleeping Beauty’s Castle (Le Château de la Belle au Bois Dormant). There are steps up inside the castle and you can see stained glass windows and tableaux with the scenes from Sleeping Beauty, and also step out onto the balcony to see the view over Fantasyland. There is a dragon under the castle - if you walk up from Main Street and head round to the left of the castle, not over the bridge, you will see the sign for La Tanière du Dragon. There is also a shop inside the castle selling jewellery and crystal, and sometimes you can watch someone making glass roses.

The nighttime show, Illuminations, is mainly projected onto the front of the castle. It starts at park closing - currently 11pm - and it’s a good idea to take your place at least an hour before. There is a lot of projection, also fireworks and fountains, and as we left the park afterwards Mickey Mouse was standing on the balcony of the Main Street railway station waving and wishing everyone goodnight, which was a lovely touch.

 Royal Castle Stage

This is to the right of the castle, coming from Main Street, and there are currently two shows using it - Joyeux Anniversaire Disneyland Paris in the morning/lunchtime, and the Starlit Princess Waltz in the afternoon/evening. Both shows are mixed French and English. The first has a cast of different characters and they do a birthday song and one with sections for each of the lands in the park. The princess show features eight princesses, who dance, then their princes come on and they all dance together, because Disney knows how to give the people what they want. There are a few stone benches but you’ll need to get there fairly early to get one; otherwise you’ll end up sitting on the floor but Disneyland has the cleanest floors I’ve ever seen so whatever.

 Blanche-Neige et les Sept Nains (Snow White and the seven dwarves) 

This is a Snow White dark ride, which sounds lovely! But two years ago when I took a four year-old and a six year-old on it, by halfway through I was hugging them both and saying ‘I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just close your eyes, I'm sorry’ because they were fucking terrified. It opens with happy dwarves and woodland creatures, but then immediately heads into the dark woods, with scary trees lunging at you and the witch constantly appearing and a dungeon full of skeletons, one of which jumps right at you. Then a brief scene of Snow White and the Prince waving at you, then the ride is over and you have to stop everyone crying. You think I am exaggerating. I am not. What the hell were they playing at. Worse than the Phantom Manor because at least you expect that to be scary.

 Les Voyages de Pinocchio 

Now this is more the thing! A traditional dark ride, scenes from Pinocchio, jolly good stuff. Boys turning into donkeys, being eaten by a whale, just what you'd expect. Not that exciting but it is nice in a traditional sort of way

 Le Carrousel de Lancelot 

The first time we went to DLP as a family was in 2014, and we were only there one night and didn't have time to do everything. Several times we walked past this lovely carousel and I told the girls we'd do it later, but we never got round to it. When we returned in 2015 I said we'd go on the carousel first, marched straight into Fantasyland and it was surrounded by hoardings as it was being renovated. But this time! We went on it! First of all! And it was lovely. A lovely carousel with lots of horses that go up and down, as carousel horses should, I can’t stand it when you go on a carousel and your horse doesn’t even fucking move, but it’s okay because Disney understands me.

 Peter Pan’s Flight 

Another dark ride but you ride in a flying pirate ship, out of the nursery and over London to Neverland. Newly renovated and much more colourful and sparkly. Flying in a boat makes it that much more fun, until the ride breaks down, and everyone has to be evacuated, and you’re ten feet above Neverland and cast members have to help you down with ladders, and today it was warm so you wore a skirt, and your six-year-old was so very brave so you have to be brave too even though it is Surprisingly High. Walking back through the closed ride was awesome though and we rode the ride several other times without incident.

 Disneyland Railroad

Steam train that takes you round the park. We only went halfway on it on this trip, from Fantasyland through Discoveryland to Main Street, which is cool because you go through the top of It’s A Small World and you can wave at the boats; I think the other side through Frontierland has a Grand Canton tableau thing but I forget. The main problem is that if they only have one train on you can wait up to half an hour for it to come round again.

  Meet Mickey Mouse 

Here is where you can meet Mickey Mouse, all day, because why not. And they will take your picture. Does what it says on the tin. Can be quite a long queue but you’re inside and can watch cartoons on a big screen.

  Dumbo the Flying Elephant 

You sit in the elephant and there is a lever to make it go up and down. A bit of a slow loader so can build up quite a queue but I think an essential part of the Disney experience. Let the small child accompanying you believe that you get scared when it goes all the way up and it will vastly increase their enjoyment or maybe my daugher is just evil.

  Alice’s Curious Labyrinth 

Alice in Wonderland themed maze in two parts; the first is pretty much a walkthrough, with a few different paths and dead ends but it isn’t really possible to get lost; you run into the Caterpillar and the playing cards painting the roses red and can take a picture. After this section you can exit, or you can enter the Queen of Hearts maze, which is a proper maze, and has a castle in the middle that you can go up. A good arrangement as children are satisfied with the first section without having to risk spending time getting lost and frustrated. Only open during the middle of the day, I’m not sure why; when we were there it opened at 11am and closed at 5pm.

 Mad Hatter’s Tea Cups 

Another Disney classic and the canopy and lanterns are very pretty. You can turn the disc in the middle to make the cup spin faster, possibly while laughing maniacally….guys, I think my youngest daughter might be Slytherin

 Casey Jr - le Petit Train du Cirque (the little circus train)

 This is the circus train from Dumbo, and it shares space with the Fairy Tales boat ride; you can wave at the boats as you go round and see some of the scenes and the central castle. These two rides are set a little back from the rest of Fantasyland, behind Alice’s Labyrinth, and they close earlier for some reason (7pm while we were there, the rest of the park not closing until 11pm). This is a good little trainer rollercoaster and it plays the Casey Jr song all the way round, as it should.

 Le Pays des Contes de Fées (the land of fairy tales)

A boat ride past scenes from various fairy tales, some Disney (Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, Aladdin etc), some not (Peter and the Wolf, the Wizard of Oz etc). Nice and relaxing and plenty to look at. Not very exciting though and probably best for little ones.

 It’s a Small World

This is a goddamn classic and no Disney trip is complete without multiple rides, I am not even joking, I think we went on it four times on this trip? And a good time was had BY ALL (the good time is compulsory). This had been newly renovated and looks very shiny but WHY is the ceiling still just tiles? Why is it not painted black? There are even things that draw the eye upwards - kites in China, monkeys in Africa - and then it looks like an office building or something. Paint the ceiling! Black! It would be so easy!

 Princess Pavilion 

This is the place to meet a princess! It had changed a bit from our last visit - then, you queued up before it opened at ten and got a timed ticket to come back and see whichever princess was on duty. This time you just had to wait in the queue, but there was a sign saying which princess you would see, which was good because then we could decide whether to bother. If you have a Priority or Easy Access card you can go in the morning and get a timed ticket but they only have so many so best to go early. We saw Rapunzel one morning and my husband queued with our eldest daughter for two hours to see Aurora in the afternoon, which was 100% worth it because Aurora is her favourite and she hadn’t met her before and we have a photo of her face when she first saw her and I’m tearing up just thinking about it

 DISCOVERYLAND

 Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast 

This is a ride that is also a game! You have a laser gun and you have to shoot the targets with a Z on them to defeat Emperor Zurg. You get points for hitting the targets and it is possible to get very competitive. Every photo from this ride has me frowning in concentration. I always ride with a child and I always win. Because it’s a continuous loader, they have to stop it every now and again to help someone with reduced mobility, if this happens while you’re on the ride find the closest target and hit it over and over.

 Orbitron

Like the elephants but you ride in a rocket ship that goes up and down. I’m not good with heights and this seems to go very high and not be entirely stable? And you slide from side to side and I’m not super big on it. I’d rather ride the elephants again to be honest. It makes me uncomfortable and whenever I’m on it I just want to get off but other people love it so what do I know

 Videopolis Theatre 

This used to have an awesome Lion King show but now it is the Jedi Training Academy, which we didn’t do, but we did enjoy a performance from the Calidcott Musical Theatre Company while we were eating at the fast food restaurant that’s also in the building so that was nice.

 Star Tours: l’Aventure Continue 

This has all be redone and relaunched and it so much better! Not as rattly, 3D screens, and in theory you get a different ride each time (our first and second rides were different, the third was the beginning of the second with a different ending). It’s all in French which I suppose can’t be helped but did impact our enjoyment a bit. But very slick and I enjoyed it a lot.

 Starport 

We met Darth Vader! That was nice. He was a bit scary but we were brave.

 Hyperspace Mountain

Space Mountain but skinned as a Star Wars ride - I’m not sure if that’s permanent, as a lot of the Jules Verne-esque theming was still in place, but it was fun. The ride now has space battles, big screens with spaceships and lots of lasers and sound effects, pew pew pew. I think at the beginning it says you’re flying to Jakku? But my French isn’t good enough. We didn’t realise until the last day this was open in Extra Magic Hours or might have gone on it more, but did manage six rides between us which was pretty good (I rode with eldest daughter twice, and she rode with my husband twice, youngest daughter not being tall enough to join us).

 Autopia 

Little cars that you drive along the track; there is a steering wheel but you don’t have to steer properly if you’re lazy or six years old. Someone over 1.32m has to control the pedal. You have a little drive through the countryside then you spend ages queuing up to get back to the platform to disembark. Eldest can drive the car herself and loves it, youngest can’t reach the pedal but loves to steer or at least try to.

 ADVENTURELAND

 Pirates of the Caribbean 

Is still closed for refurbishment which is a BIG PILE OF POO. This is youngest’s favourite ride and we couldn’t do it. So it gets ZERO POINTS.

 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Peril 

Mine car rollercoaster, a bit rattly and jerky but good fun, has one 360 loop. Good theming, tucked away right at the back of Adventureland. I think for a few years they ran this backwards? But it’s forwards again now.

 La Passage Enchante d’Aladdin 

A walkthrough with scenes from Aladdin. This was closed on our last visit but this time we all enjoyed going up Aladdin’s Enchanted Passage.

  FRONTIERLAND

 Phantom Manor

This is the Haunted Mansion. A bit hard to follow the story if you don’t speak French, something about a bride? She keeps turning up, certainly. Another Disney classic and I know I shouldn’t keep complaining about the language barrier when I’m the one who willingly went to a foreign country but it does make it not as good as at the American parks, for me.

 Thunder Mesa Riverboat Landing

You can ride the riverboat round Big Thunder Mountain. Pretty slow and not enough seats and we didn’t bother on this trip. There are some tableaux along the side of the lake, mostly on the outside, so stand on that side of the boat if you want to see them.

 Big Thunder Mountain 

Mine cart rollercoaster, has been updated with new scenes including a dynamite blasting section, top stuff. The ride loads on the side of the lake and most of the track is on the island, so you immediately plunge into a pitch-black tunnel before surfacing to climb and go round and round, then back through a black tunnel full of bats to the platforms. Just the kind of thing I like and it’s got even better since our last visit.

  WALT DISNEY STUDIOS

 BACKLOT

 Rock’n’Roller Coaster starring Aerosmith

A rollercoaster in the dark, with loud music and flashing lights. Launch start. Very fast, don’t put your head against the headrest or it’ll get rattled to pieces, I like it but it’s very intense and the theming seems a little bit dated now.

 Moteurs...Action! Stunt Show Spectacular featuring Lightning McQueen

We saw this on our last trip but not this one. Quite long and didn’t seem to know if it wanted to be a stunt show, or a Cars show, or showing film special effects, but good if you like that sort of thing.

 PRODUCTION COURTYARD

 Studio Tram Tours: Behind the Magic

You ride in a tour tram thing and see some props from such blockbuster hits as Dinotopia, Reign of Fire and Pearl Harbour, none of which I’ve seen, has anybody? But there’s a bit where they show special effects with rain and fire and a flood which was quite cool. Sit towards the right of the car if you don’t want to get wet. But it was a hot day so we didn’t mind. Needed more to look at as some parts of the road were empty and that was a bit dull.

 Disney Junior Live on Stage! 

We saw this on our last two trips but not this one as our two are growing out of Disney Junior a bit, and the show badly needs updating. There are alternating French and English shows so check the times.

 TOON STUDIO

 Animagique Theatre

The current show here is Mickey and the Magician. We had to queue for about half an hour before the show but it was well worth it, it was a very good show with live singing, magic tricks, lots of songs and dancing. In general, Mickey speaks French and the other characters speak English, but the plot isn’t complicated and is mainly an excuse to show songs from different Disney films. The theatre is also air-conditioned and has comfortable padded seats which was almost worth the wait by itself.

 Cars Quatre Roues Rallye

Similar to the Teacups, but you’re sat in a Car and they move round each other in a figure-of-eight and you keep thinking you’re going to collide but not quite doing it. In theory each car seats four but my husband and I are average-sized and only just fit side-by-side in the back row of the car. Good fun though and doesn’t make you as dizzy as the teacups, not me anyway.

 Crush’s Coaster 

This is AWESOME and probably my favourite from this trip. The rollercoaster car is shaped like a turtle shell, with two seats facing forward and two back, but once you get into the rollercoaster section it spins so you’re facing forward, backward, this way and that way. Starting off forwards you see more of the shark, starting off backwards you see the jellyfish better, but it doesn’t matter once you get past the first few scenes and into the East Australian Current, which is a dark rollercoaster section with spinning lights and occasional turtles. Smooth except for when it rights you at the end which can be a bit jarring. Top stuff.

 Les Tapis Volants - Flying Carpets Over Agrabah 

The thing about this ride, which is like the elephants again but with flying carpets, is that it should clearly be in Adventureland in the main park, which has a big area themed for Aladdin, but I’d guess there isn’t room for it, so it’s in the Studios park, with the genie there and supposed to be directing a film? It doesn’t make a lot of sense. The ride itself is good though, smooth and quite fast. Nice breeze on a hot day.

 Art of Disney Animation 

This building currently has an area where you can meet Belle - don’t believe the times in the programme, she was here all day, with a long queue (again, if you have a Priority/Easy Access card you can get a timed ticket but get there early as they only have so many). There is also an exhibition of Disney concept art and, my favourite part, an area with little desks shaped like the bottom half of Mickey Mouse and a cast member who teaches you to draw a Disney character. We all drew Stitch. The drawing bit was a nice change of pace and also I got to show off a bit and the cast member said my picture was very good, she really did, no honestly

 Ratatouille: L’Aventure Totalement Toquée de Remy

This was my favourite ride on our last trip and it is still my second-favourite (Crush’s Coaster, which we didn’t ride last time, has just pipped it). You wear 3d glasses and ride in a little rat and it is all very slick and immersive. Half in English and half in French but not much dialogue so it’s easy to follow.

  TOY STORY PLAYLAND

 Toy Soldiers Parachute Drop

You sit under a parachute which goes up, then drops, four times over I think. I didn’t ride this one but I was informed that it is higher than it looks and you have a great view; it feels secure as it drops; and that it is very good.

 Slinky Dog Zigzag Spin