#malificent

a rousing round of monopo-tennis

" Even the Rabble" 🦇

The annual heatwave has hit America, worsening each year due to global warming. The sun has become a skin cancer, heat stroke inducing death ray and the Disney parks have become increasingly un-equipped to handle such extreme weather.

How do our local Villains handle such heat?

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Maleficent

Just because she can produce her iconic green fire, doesn’t mean she’s resistant to its heat.

Unfortunately, even the mistress of evil is susceptible to heat stroke. Especially in her thick black robe.

She’d never show it, but someone with a keen eye (i.e (Y/N) ) would notice the thin sheen of sweat across her brow, and darker green complexion due to the flush that overtook her face.

During a heatwave, she’ll lock herself into her room, every window drawn shut and lights off.

The lock is to keep others out, and her secrets in

Secrets, such as not wanting to reveal such a rare moment of vulnerability, and the single working AC in the building that she somehow manages to procure.

The only one who could ever hope to enter her lair of air conditioning would be (Y/N), as long as they kept Maleficent's secret of heat intolerance, and supplied a steady stream of mojitos to her awaiting hand

Frollo

Dead.

Frollos dead.

A man from medieval France, who refuses to wear anything but his thick, cotton pulpit robes? He’s dead.

This is (Y/N) opening the the door to Frollos room to check on him:

Captain Hook

Typically, Hook’s quite used to the heat. Being a well seasoned pirate who’s sailed across the coasts of Africa and the Caribbean, Hook has had years of experience to acclimate to uncomfortable temperatures.

But alas, even a pirate captain can’t face the boiling Florida heat, especially with the villain buildings AC on the fritz.

His English blood reveals itself to be his greatest enemy, next to Pan, of course.

You can find Hook in his quarters, stripped down to his breeches and sprawled across his chaise lounge

His usual voluminous, silky hair has become a frizzy monstrosity. Even his pencil thin mustache has become crimped from the heat

Hook’s eyes would droop more than usual, and an embarrassing flush would paint his miserable face

Hook’s relinquished himself to laying perfectly still in a pool of his own sweat, occasionally letting out a dramatic moan

He’d become more aware of himself if (Y/N) joined him in his sweaty misery

Would love them forever in they tied up his hair in a high ponytail, giving his neck much needed relief

Would make room on his couch for (Y/N) to lay alongside with him, regaling them with stories of times during his career where he and his crew faced similar heat

Hades

Thriving. Both from the heat and his fellow villains suffering

Reminds him of home

While everyone’s a sweaty, moaning puddle, Hades hammed it up by wearing a Hawaiian shirt over his toga and a pair of Mickey Mouse sunglasses he stole from one of the many gift shops

Reclining in a beach chair outside, smoking a cigar while the park’s on fire. Figuratively and literally

“Hey, is it just me or is it a little chilly in here?”

He’s such an asshole during the heatwave

Especially loves the heat because he can leer at (Y/N), who’s forgone their usual park uniform in favor of something… lighter

Literally the meme “I love wearing sunglasses, because no one can see where I’m looking” and it’s just Hades obviously staring at (Y/N)’s chest

Ursula

…. Is someone doing a clam bake? No! It’s just Ursula, who’s a single degree hotter away from being calamari!

Makes sense for her to have low heat tolerance, due to her and the rest of the mermaid race living in the Atlantic Ocean near Denmark

Ursula’s usual updo hairstyle has wilted. White, silky strands now hiding her exhausted face

Mascaras running

Due to her aquatic nature, there’s a definite risk of her drying out. Usually this can be solved by a daily showers, but due to the heatwave it’s become much more dangerous for her

Has commandeered the employee showers. Total control over the only cold water in the building

The only one Ursula allows in is (Y/N), and would be more than pleased to have them join her in the showers~

Gaston

No ones slick as Gaston, no ones quick as Gaston, no ones…. quite susceptible to heat like Gaston…

Like most villains, he isn’t used to extreme heat. And it shows

The sweatiest out of all the villains. It’s disgusting

I’m talking absolutely drenched

There’s a pronounced, damp sound to him when he’s moving around

Even though he’s obviously uncomfortable, his pride won’t let him admit he’s near exhaustion

Tries to play his sweat off as the excess manliness leaking out of him

Gaston attempts to go about his usual business around the park, but ends up passing out 5 minutes into his park-long jogging routine

(Y/N) needs multiple coworkers to drag him back inside. He’s now stuffed in his bathroom tub, in his boxer briefs as (Y/N) attempts to save him from heatstroke

He comes to a few minutes later, confused, near naked, and packed in a bathtub full of melting ice.

Looking up at a blurry figure of (Y/N), Gaston deliriously thinks that they’ve stolen his kidneys

Screams like a teenage girl

Hans

Oh his poor, little ginger body. It practically bursts into flames

You have never seen anyone become more sunburned after such little exposure to the sun

He looks like a lobster, his face somehow managing to become redder than his hair

Becomes especially needy and whiney, really turning up the spoiled prince act to 100%

Practically begs (Y/N) to drown him in Aloe Vera

Is so desperate for relief, he purposefully goes and pisses Elsa off so she can freeze him into a giant icicle

It doesn’t matter if he can feel his toes or not now, at least he isn’t sweating anymore.

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Hope that everyone’s staying safe during the heat! I started this last week when the heatwave was in full effect, so I was really feeling the misery :’)

I walked with you Once Upon a Dream

(Malficient one is so random bc tf is going on 💀)

I have to read this bc I have no concept of what's going on but look at these cutiess!!!