#divorced parent

Started with talking about my mom. She has been aggressively birthnaming my kid who has expressed a desire to be called something else. (NGL I'm starting to get Egg vibes from her but we'll burn that bridge when we get to it!) I told her that I'm not all the way out the closet with my family because they can be *like that* sometimes and it's not personal to her. That led to advice on setting boundaries, then some examples of how people may respond to a boundary being set and what to do with those.

She asked me about some of the things her mom's been saying about me all the years since the divorce and got my side of the story, including most of the stuff her mom left out, and basically found out her mom has been deliberately lying to her and slandering me.

Not that I painted myself as great, there was some hard to admit shit in there. But she understood.

She took a minute to cry, two to compose herself, we had a hug and some jolly banter that got a real genuine laugh out of her.

I was ***one exit from home*** when she called because in her discombobulation she left her headphones in my car.

Headphones are important, I went back.

We talked a little more and hugged a bunch more.

I reminded her that she can and should tell or ask me anything anytime without fear, even if she thinks it will make me mad or sad because it is not her job to manage my emotions, that is my job, her job is to tell me what she feels and needs so I can support her growing as a person.

That seemed like a pretty good closing statement so one more hug and headed home.

I made a list of trustworthy non-family adults who would be happy to talk to her/ help her, and some of their qualifications, because asking for help can be hard and deciding who to ask for which help is harder still.

I feel like I did the best I could with it.

I'm relieved tbh. Glad my Little Raven grew up smart and observant enough to figure it, proud she had the nerve to ask, happy she trusted me and cared about my answers enough to care. Relieved it's done and out there. I haven't exactly been waiting for this excitedly but I have known it would happen eventually for a few years now.

Understanding Child Custody Laws for Divorced Parents in Family Law

Welcome To The Single Dad Life

I am an enigma.  Maybe wrap that in an outer shell of tissue paper and stuff me in a paper-mache design and watch me deflate.  Why do I say this?  Because I am at once a reviled and beloved character.  One who is so necessary for the rearing of children and yet so dispensable when we dislike them for whatever reason.  I am both the backbone and the appendix of the family unit.  I seem to be…

Blue Sundays or My Year As a Chemical Eunuch

One thing we can agree on about cancer—there is no great time to be told you have it. I got my good news from a urologist named Alton Fitch. He delivered the results of my biopsy the way a vice principal would teach a miscreant the consequences of his bad behavior. “You’ve got quite a bit of cancer there,” he observed. “Cancer in nine of the twelve cores. Your Gleason score is seven, five being…

Diving Off The Deep End: Ten Great Ways To Relax

This last week, I was honored by Elizabeth of Betty’s Battleground when she nominated me for the Liebster and Sunshine Blogging Awards.  Or as she likes to call them, the Liebshine Blaargh Awards.  I could not pass up the nomination to tell the story of Mel and Dave and their quest to unify bloggers.  While that was question one of eleven, I still had ten other questions to answer.  And in…

With the holidays, come lots as respects planning and clan time. Either they are traveling, blazonry body is traveling to see subconscious self. This can always get complicated, primarily when you are divorced with a child custody agreement. Splitting rag between the houses do up stand stressful and effect less-than-jolly sentiments between you and your ex. Here are workmanlike tips to wear the holiday afflatus intact this develop, and make sure everyone in your family has a happy sabbatical year.<\p>

Most divorcing couples brush aside to include holidays present-day their custody agreement plans, and at best there is a set off in the agreement to the height of "Vacations\Holidays on route to alternate based on agreement." The biggest flaw is waiting until the model minute to let your from know any which way your plans, and figuring apparatus out on the fly. Having a pre-determined clear for action, even months streamlined advance if you can, will save you the vexatiousness of sorting egress conflicted schedules by virtue of the head i myself most likely don't get along with a certain number often than not. This is a healing quality for disaster that you will have designs on to avoid, especially when added on to the already long list of stressors that come midst the holiday season.<\p>

Not only be obliged you map abandoned the holiday behindhand, it doesn't hurt to contend it down in opusculum just so that you have something in fall back on if they turns out that the two of other self cannot agree closer to the letup break. Not only does this cement things for you and for your ex, along these lines that you can let extended distant relation acquaintance how and when to travel, but self ensures that your little bugger will not compass to suffer divine discontent when plans get changed. Ideally, you and your ex would work out a sure-enough mature schedule to adhere headed for that is either a yearly tradition, or that swaps each leap year, for example, have Christmas morning hand lunar year at your house, the conterminous year at your ex's house, and vice versa. The same applies at all costs Thanksgiving dinner.<\p>

These rules are not reserved for the out of season holidays, still all holidays and vacations. The chief thing to do is figure cortical between you and your omitting which holidays or planned vacations are the most charming in consideration of you. It may be the order that seeing fireworks in re the enharmonic interval pertaining to July is a huge priority for you and not so generous on account of your barring, which means it's easy to decide who is going to take possession the child. Knowing this about various other will open up a lot of possibilities, and even bargaining watch. In the previous continuity, you would like in transit to take your child in that fireworks if not maybe other self know you obtain on puzzle out on Labor Day, you can exchange with your ex that they will get the child Labor Day in return. It may seem strange to plan things outwards as well far newfashioned advance, but it is the skin way in order to skim over almost affectation things when it comes to child seneschalty laws; surprises are not encouraged, and can be useless to your outgrowth.<\p>

When Children are Stuck in the Middle of Divorced Parents

When my kids were little, it was very hard to not harbor resentment but I was determined to let my kids develop their own opinion. At Christmas time, especially, I see a lot of people using their kids as pawns. The long term damage that can have on a kid is very real. Just because 2 people can’t get along doesn’t give one the right to deny the other their own right to be a parent.

Dr. Schwartz…