#diving instruction

Just imagine the sensation of being invited to join one of Peter Potamus' nieces (as in Pamela, Peggy or Penelope), diving instructresses in their own right (even as 'tweens for the most part) who just cannot help but believe in teaching especially nervous or unnerved people (including such from broken homes) the magic and wonder as is diving, the experience that is diving even.

Teaching such the wonder that's underwater that only the diving experience can bring out and even bring about ... the sensations such an experience can easily bring out in as much body as in mind.

Oh, just a reminder that these three nieces of Peter Potamus are my own original Hanna-Barbera-inspired characters aimed at making the character and his backstory more fascinating.

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[Obvious laughter and guffaws from the students assigned her]

PAMELA "PAM" POTAMUS: I can admit that many of you would find it odd for a hippopotamus like myself to introduce you to that very magical sensation and experience known as diving underwater, or even instruct you in the essentials for that matter ... but still, know that hippopotami are rather agile in the water themselves. Which may explain why I, Pam Potamus, a close niece of a certain Peter Potamus--how many of you have heard or seen him, especially in diving-related vids?

[A modest show of hands ensues]

Not bad a response there; anyhow, this particular niece of Peter Potamus is rather proud to have discovered diving herself, and is equally proud to want you to discover diving yourself. Proud enough, understand, to be a diving instructress in her own right.

A DIVE STUDENT, slightly irate: Uh, shouldn't that exactly be "instructor"?

PAMELA "PAM" POTAMUS: Actually, sir, "instructress" is the correct feminine form ... but anyhow, in discovering diving with yours truly, do expect to discover it with patience and kindness. As it ought to be, especially with a rather fascinating and at once dangerous sport such as skin diving--and is actually my style, as a matter of fact. Know this for a fact in advance. And with me, learning to dive is certain to be a rather delightful and positive sort of experience....

MILDEW WOLF, by the lakeside, with his usual snark being rather blatant: Hello, campers ... Mildew Wolf is the name and diving is my schtick. And perhaps it was time you pathetic little spoilsports learned something productive--

A CAMPER, as if jeering: Oh, a WOLF--a WOLF teaching us diving!!

[Still, remember that the same Joe E. Brown-inspired voice was used by Daws Butler for both Lippy the Lion and Peter Potamus, requiring an especially sharp ear to discern the two]

PETER POTAMUS, ever the curious sort: So, Lippy, as one of my better sort of divers, what do you have in mind for your summer's dive instructor jaunt?

LIPPY THE LION: This may sound unusual, Peter, but over the summer, I plan to offer taster dives and dive instruction to the deserving on a circuit of old-school resorts up around the Nisswa Lakes region.

PETER POTAMUS: Up in northern Minnesota, I take it.

LIPPY THE LION: Where else, Peter? Besides, the idea of taking my routine, as it were, to different resorts over the season affords some interesting opportunities to meet some new tourists and acquaint them with the rather interesting activity of diving underwater!

PETER POTAMUS: I wish you much luck on that endeavour, Lippy ... and if you come across my cousin Penelope Potamus, tell her hi for me.

LIPPY THE LION, stunend: You mean your cousin Penelope, the teen dive instructress?

PETER POTAMUS: None other than, Lippy! She's trying to line up some dive-instruction gigs up by the Brainerd Lakes over the summer, and is talking to a dive shop or two up that way to serve as summer instructress!

LIPPY THE LION: Wish her luck on behalf of Lippy, come to think of it!

(Or, put another way, such groups of people which members of the Par-tay, in their dive-instructor role, would prefer instructing in the diving experience)

Wally Gator: Such from dysfunctional families and those with obvious mental disorders

Loopy De Loop: French-Canadian winter Floridians, especially such from Quebec; "ze good wolf" does have some proficiency in the Quebecoise dialect

Mildew Wolf: Children sent to fresh-air camps for the summer mainly out of parental spite, or otherwise on the "advice" of social workers and/or school counsellors--and usually on special camperships because limited income

Hokey Wolf: Much the same group of campers as Mildew Wolf, although the parents would prefer sending the kids off to summer camp for the sake of giving the parents some respite

Breezly Bruin: Sea Scout camps (yes, Sea Scouting is a part of the broader Boy Scout movement)

Magilla Gorilla and Lippy the Lion: Second-rate summer resorts up in the lake country, especially where opportunities can be had for "taster dive" experiences

[And it is said poutine that Loopy De Loop is having a plate of when he has a discussion with the manager on duty, as follows--]

LOOPY De LOOP, who just couldn't resist Quebecoise soul food such as poutine: I assume you're wondering why ze good wolf is here in the Keys.

THE MANAGER: For vacation.

LOOPY De LOOP: Partly true ... but to be candid about it, I'd be interested in offering some diving instruction to especially certain tourists out of love for the diving experience.

THE MANAGER: What did you exactly have in mind for your kind of dive students?

LOOPY De LOOP: Such kids who may be from broken home scenarios, yet whose families are on vacation in their Luscious Glory of dysfunctional. You can contact me at my motel if you come across any worthwhile leads.

BREEZLY BRUIN, trying not to look dumbfounded as much as show the part of a willing dive instructor: You know something, kid--?

THE KID, probably 11 or 12 for all we know, whose parents probably got such diving instruction to get him out of the parents' hair more than anything: I have to admit you're a polar bear ...

BREEZLY BRUIN: Which is rather obvious ... and yet, I think we might be seeing some rather interesting moments together through the summer.

THE KID: However did you come along?

BREEZLY BRUIN: The name is Breezly Bruin, and I came by way of Nome, Alaska, I will have you know ... yet I happened to be in the neighbourhood, and thought you could use something different.

THE KID: Make no mistake ... my parents keep insisting that I should be out of the house more just to get away from the TV ...