#div rant

"no one looks weird at disabled people anymore" but today an abled friend made a comment about how every person qlwe cross in the street looks at me like an alien

I wanted to scream and cry and cancel everything but my friends told me "literally just come and move less than we originally planned, it's so okay"

they have carried my things for me when I needed to use both my crutches, helped me around the beach when using crutches was unfeasible bc of sand, traded beds with me bc my mattress sucked ass, left me the fuck alone when I said I needed a moment to cry in pain by myself and hugged me afterwards when I asked for it

and I wanna let yall know that I helped them back. I watch out for my friend to take her meds, for another's food sensitivity issues, for another's RSD that tends to get really bad in group situation when they feel left out

this isn't an exchange, friends just help each other out. if I wasn't doing anything for them, they would've still helped me with my mobility. and if they weren't helping me with my mobility, I would still help them as well

but it's so easy for my beliefs to fall into compulsion territory. for me to believe that my day is going to be a disaster bc I forgot to pray. or being unable to get a specific ingredient for a spell and being convinced it's now a curse.

today I went to make some prints. I know nothing about prints

I went in and told this to the person working the counter, told them I would need help with the names of the paper and stuff

they did not care, because this is literally their job

i described the papers I needed like a five year old, I got asked about paper thickness and gaped like an idiot

the person did not care and in fact brought out paper samples for me

so now I have my pretty prints, in exactly the paper I knew I wanted even though I didn't know what it was called

1- the buckleys

2- queer coded Eddies who exist as vaguely love interests to a beloved male mc