#disney remake

And the conflict is solved because what Lilo and Nani need (what they REALLY needed) is a support net. Someone, anyone to be there to take at least SOME of the burden from Nani and give her breathing room.

Which is why Jumba and Peakley joining the family alongside Stitch, and become a constant pressence who share the burden of the household, makes all the difference.

And this does not solve all the problems, because the movie is not about magically resolving those problems, it's about putting the characters in a situation in which they can move forward as a family. And for their desire to be a family and be together as a family, to be respected.

Add in one song or two, that’s fine. Add some background that was originally missing, that’s fine.

But don’t completely change the character(s). That makes it a new story, but just with the same name as different characters.

And if you’re “remaking” a movie, but changing the why a character does what they do.

Here's how I would have done the remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs if Ihad the money and the resources.

First I would talk to Walt Disney's family and get their opinion on the subject, cause I know Walt didn't want anyone to mess with his first masterpiece. I'd want to know if they would mind a remake and if it wouldn't be disrespectful to Walt's legacy.

Next I would hire an actress to play Snow White and she would have black hair, red lips, and white skin. Then I would hire dwarf actors to play the dwarves and they would all have to At the very least respect the original film and Walt Disney.

For hair and costuming I would give Snow White a look similar to that of Marguerite Clark's look in the silent film Snow White, make her a delicate, almost porcelain-like beauty with a subdue and elegant style, and her color schemes would be red and white as red symbolizes love and white symbolizes innocence which are two defining qualities of Snow White. This would also serve as a shout out to Walt's inspiration for the Disney film. As for the queen, her looks would be a total contrast to Snow White's. Her costuming would be regal and elaborate but very gaudy and intimidating to symbolize how her beauty is really just for show and not anything deeper than that and her color schemes should be similar to a peacock's as peacocks symbolize vanity but add lots of green detailing to symbolize her hidden envy.

CGI would only be used for the animals, the rest would be practical effects and make up, filmed in Germany.

Now on to the plot.

The movie opens with a storybook introduction, recounting the tale of a queen renowned for her kindness and compassion. She believed that man or beast, creature—big or small—deserved love. This belief endeared her to all in the kingdom, especially her husband, the king. Yet, despite her adoration, the queen felt a profound sadness; there was one thing she longed for above all else—a child to whom she could give her boundless love.

One winter's day, while sewing at an open window, the queen pricked her finger with a needle, and three drops of blood fell onto the freshly fallen snow on the dark window sill. She sighed, wishing aloud, "How I wish I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony, with a heart full of love to share."

Not long after, the queen gives birth to a baby daughter, with hair as black as ebony, lips as red as blood, and skin as white as snow, the queen names her Snow White. Tragically, the queen died from complications during childbirth, and with her last breath, she implored the king to raise their daughter to be loving and compassionate.

Fast forward seven years, and Snow White is a sweet and kind little princess, cherished by her father but not spoiled. She spends her days exploring the kingdom, making friends by helping with chores—often despite her small size—picking flowers and apples to share as gifts, and extending her gentle nature to animals. Accompanying her on these adventures are the royal huntsman, tasked with her protection, and her best friend, the young prince Fredrick.

One day, while out exploring, Snow White discovers a lost baby bird crying for its mother. She comforts the little creature and helps it return to its nest. The king, witnessing this act of kindness, feels immense pride in his daughter’s caring heart. However, he soon notices sadness on Snow White's face as she watches the baby bird snuggle with its mother. He realizes that her sorrow stems from never knowing her own mother. Compounding his worry is the news of a looming war across the kingdom. As a king, he must prepare to fight, but the thought of leaving his precious daughter without a parent to love her weighs heavily on his heart.

So the king searches for a new wife but after the loss of his beloved, he finds himself unable to see any potential match as wonderful as her. Just when hope seems lost, he encounters the stunning Grimhilde, whose beauty reminds him of his late wife. Enchanted, he marries her almost immediately, and at first, all appears well. Snow White is thrilled to finally have a mother, and the new queen dotes on her stepdaughter.

However, the king's royal miners, the dwarfs, sense something amiss with the new queen. Dwarfs possess the unique ability to see beyond appearances and perceive the true nature of a soul. Doc, who serves as an advisor to the king on matters of witchcraft—studying it to remain vigilant—requests a private audience with him.

During their meeting, Doc expresses his concerns, warning the king that while a witch's soul may be as ugly as sin, they often conceal their true nature behind a beautiful facade, capable of charming any mortal. The king, however, is too captivated by Grimhilde to heed Doc's warning. Unbeknownst to them, Grimhilde overhears their conversation.

As it turns out, Grimhilde is indeed a witch, drawing her power from a magical mirror. She has been using her magic to bewitch the king. Viewing the dwarfs as a threat, she manipulates the king into believing they are plotting against him, leading him to banish them to the Black Forest. This moment of spellcasting and mirror use is witnessed by Fredrick, who realizes the danger they face.

Shortly afterward, the king departs for war, sharing a tearful farewell with Snow White. He imparts parting words of wisdom: "Always give love to others as your mother did, and you will be loved in return forever as she was." Later, the king dies in battle, and Grimhilde seizes control of the kingdom, revealing her true nature as a cold, cruel, and vain woman who married the king solely to exploit his wealth and power to enhance her own great beauty. She finds satisfaction only when she asks her magic mirror who is the fairest one of all is, and that it answers that she alone holds that title.

At the king's funeral, Grimhilde audaciously uses the occasion to showcase herself in splendor, adorned with silks and jewels. However, instead of receiving the admiration she craves, she notices that the guests are more focused on comforting the heartbroken and now-orphaned Snow White. This ignites a deep envy in Grimhilde's heart, prompting her to lock Snow White away from the world, forcing her into servitude and forbidding anyone outside the castle from seeing her. Yet, Fredrick finds ways to sneak into the castle to see Snow White and offer her comfort. Secretly in love with her, he promises to protect her and vows that one day he will rescue her from her wicked stepmother.

Ten years pass, and Snow White grows up feeling lonely and abused, yearning for a family and friends. Despite her hardships, she remains kind and compassionate, determined that no one should endure the pain and the loneliness she feels each day. As her love and empathy flourish, so too does her beauty. By the time she turns seventeen, she has become the most lovely maiden in the entire kingdom.

One day, while working by the well, Fredrick—now a handsome young man—visits her again. He confesses his love for Snow White and asks her to join him in his kingdom, as his father has finally granted them permission to marry, if she will have him. Snow White, who has long returned Fredrick’s love, joyfully agrees, and they make plans to run away together.

However, on the same day, the queen consults her mirror, only to be struck with horror and jealousy when it declares that Snow White is the fairest one of all. In a fit of rage, the queen orders the royal huntsman to take Snow White into the forest, kill her, and bring back her heart as proof. The huntsman hesitates until she threatens his life.

When he goes to find Snow White, he discovers her sneaking away with Fredrick. Pretending to support their plan, he lures them outside, where he knocks out Fredrick and takes Snow White into the forest. As he prepares to carry out the queen's orders, Snow White's tears move him, and he cannot bring himself to harm her. Instead, he warns her of the queen's intentions and urges her to flee deep into the Black Forest.

Lost and frightened, Snow White collapses in the woods, only to be discovered by woodland animals, including a bluebird who was the same chick she once helped as a child. They rush to get help from the nearby seven dwarfs, who once served her father: Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, and Dopey. Snow White pleads for shelter in their cottage for the night. Grumpy, recalling the king's "betrayal," is suspicious and refuses her request. However, Doc, seeing beyond anger and bitterness, recognizes Snow White's inherent goodness and persuades the others to let her stay.

Meanwhile, the huntsman kills a pig and presents its heart to the queen as a substitute for Snow White's, then secretly flees the castle to go into hiding. When Fredrick regains consciousness, he is arrested by the royal guards and thrown into the dungeon, framed by the queen for Snow White's supposed murder.

The next morning, Snow White awakens in the cottage to find the dwarfs gone and their home in disarray. It turns out they have opened a mine of their own and are so busy with their work that they return home too exhausted to tidy up. To express her gratitude for their help, Snow White cleans the cottage, prepares a lavish feast for dinner, and even washes and mends their work clothes, all done to the song “Whistle While You Work.”. When the dwarfs return to find their home spotless, their clothes fresh and repaired, and a delicious meal waiting, they are deeply touched. Grateful for her kindness, they invite her to stay with them, and Snow White happily accepts, offering to keep house in exchange.

In a vibrant montage, featuring the song “Heigh-Ho” we see Snow White looking after the dwarfs' cottage, forming bonds with them through singing, music, and dance. While Grumpy remains hesitant to trust her, there are moments when he begins to soften. One example being, he accidentally hurts himself on the job and she tends to his wound. Snow White is happy with her new life, feeling like she’s part of a family once more, yet she misses Fredrick.

Meanwhile, at the castle, the Magic Mirror reveals to the queen that Snow White is still alive and living with the dwarfs. Enraged that the Huntsman deceived her with a pig's heart, the queen disguises herself as a hideous old peddler and concocts a poisoned apple that will plunge anyone who eats it into a deep, death-like sleep. She discovers that the spell can only be broken by true love's first kiss. Fearing that Fredrick's love for Snow White could thwart her plans, she orders his execution. Unbeknownst to the queen, the huntsman hears rumors of Fredrick's impending death and sneaks into the dungeon to help him escape.

One evening, after a joyful celebration featuring “The Silly Song,” Snow White expresses her heartfelt gratitude to the dwarfs for their warm welcome. She confesses her deep affection for them and shares her lifelong dream of having a big family like theirs. Curious, the dwarfs ask if she had anyone after her father passed away. In response, she tells them about Fredrick and sings “Someday My Prince Will Come.” Recognizing how much Snow White misses him, the dwarfs decide to skip work the following day to search for the prince, keeping their plan a secret to surprise her.

Shortly after the dwarfs depart, Grimhilde arrives at the cottage, posing as a lost traveler seeking shelter. Snow White hesitates, sensing something amiss but reluctant to turn away someone in need. Before she can decide, the animals, recognizing the witch's disguise, attack her. Snow White shooes them away and invites Grimhilde inside. Meanwhile, the animals race off to fetch the dwarfs. Grimhilde deceives Snow White into believing that the apple is magic and will fulfill her wish for love and family. Trusting the witch, Snow White takes a bite of the apple and falls into a death-like slumber.

Grumpy is the first to decipher the animals' message and leads the dwarfs on a frantic chase to rescue Snow White. Unfortunately, they arrive too late to save her but just in time to catch Grimhilde fleeing the scene. They pursue her through the forest, and she seeks refuge in her castle, only to be confronted by Fredrick, the huntsman, and the people of the kingdom. During Fredrick's escape, he led the guards to Grimhilde's mirror, which revealed her true identity as a jealous witch intent on killing their beloved princess.

Now, the entire kingdom is in pursuit of her, with the dwarfs and the prince cornering her on a cliff. In a desperate attempt to escape, she tries to roll a boulder onto them, but before she can succeed, lightning strikes the cliff, causing her to fall to her death.

However, this victory feels hollow when everyone gathers at the cottage to find Snow White seemingly dead. The kingdom mourns her loss, and unable to bury her in the dark earth, they lay her to rest in a glass coffin, allowing the world to marvel at her beauty and remember her love and compassion, with Fredrick and the dwarfs never leaving her side.

One day, Fredrick's father arrives, insisting that his son return to their kingdom, as he still has responsibilities to his people. Initially, Fredrick refuses, declaring he cannot live without Snow White. However, the dwarfs remind him that she would want him to continue living. Reluctantly, he agrees to go but not before saying one last goodbye to Snow White. He gently kisses her, and to everyone’s astonishment, the kiss breaks the spell and revives her.

With Grimhilde defeated and peace restored, Snow White and Frederick celebrate their love with a spectacular fairy-tale wedding, where the seven dwarfs are honored as special guests and welcomed as members of the court. The scene then shifts back to the book, revealing Doc reading the story to seven eager children—Snow White and Frederick’s own little ones.

Now crowned as the beloved king and queen, Snow White and Frederick stand hand in hand on the balcony of their castle, gazing down at the dwarfs joyfully dancing with their children in the courtyard, their laughter ringing through the air.

The final shot pulls back, showcasing the kingdom in all its splendor, filled with laughter and music. As the scene fades, these words appear on the screen:

Yes, Shrek shouldn’t look like every animated movie, he’s supposed to look almost-photo-realistic because the story was a swipe at Disney’s idealization. But that’s not why most of yall are griping about Shrek. You’re griping because “what did they do to my boyyyy” he doesn’t match the way he did when you were a kid, or when you were making funny memes with his face.

That’s my point. It’s not good to complain about something bad for the wrong reasons because it’s not as true and therefore not as useful a complaint. Just like it’s not good to praise something that is not praiseworthy just because you really wanna like it. You have to have good reasons.

People don’t understand what made Lilo & Stitch so good if they think the trailers for this remake are serving up the same goodness.

I think that’s what’s so insidious about these Live Action Remakes. It’s almost better to make something that’s genuinely un-likable than something that people will like for the wrong reasons.

You’re just losing your ability to like things that are excellent and growing your complacency for stuff that’s crap. When you were brought up on the real thing, why are you so excited to settle for less? And if we really wanna get dramatic about it, less for your kids?! My kids don’t get to have The Lion King or How to Train Your Dragon. They have to have the crappy remake.

What I mean is, if you like the Lilo & Stitch trailer, I believe you. I believe that you liked the return to the music, I believe that you liked hearing Stitch’s voice and seeing him cacklingly spray water before his opponent even gets to the count of two, I believe that you liked the little girl actor conveying real emotion and speaking in lisped mispronounced words.

I believe you.

But that stuff wasn’t the whole trailer. And none of it was even the point of the whole trailer. It was just icing. Just like Stitch’s naughtiness and Lilo’s age and the music was just icing in the original movie. If that had been all it was? If the icing had been the whole cake? If the quirky characterizations, good acting, and music were all the original Lilo & Stitch had going for it, you would not have liked it as much.

I mean geez, Home had those things, and it’s nowhere near the juggernaut of nostalgia and good storytelling and culture-shift that Lilo & Stitch was.

Those things aren’t what made it good.

Stitch’s naughtiness, Lilo’s little-girl-ness, the Elvis/Hawaiian chorus music—those things were all pillars that were there to support the main thing: the story.

The story is what breathed life and meaning into Stitch and Lilo as characters and made the music impactful. Not the other way around.

Stitch is naughty because it’s a story about someone who’s so bad, so selfish, that they’re hard to love. So he had to be naughty.

Lilo is a little girl because it’s a story about someone who can hold on to the idea of family love, love that hangs in there even when you’re bad and selfish, with a childlike faith and simplicity. She’s a little girl because that story needed someone who was vulnerable, as well as full of powerful, untainted, uncomplicated love.

The music is a blend of Hawaiian chorus and Elvis because Lilo only cares about her own little world, and her own little world is Hawaii, and Elvis visited Hawaii. Lilo only cares about her own little world because the story needed a girl who had the opportunity to lose faith in family love—and she was given that opportunity by losing some of her family—and so now she hangs on tightly to what’s close to her, and that means she hangs on tightly to her home town, and that’s Hawaii, and that’s where Elvis visited. She doesn’t want pop songs or new music, she wants classic Elvis and the sounds she’s grown up with, and Stitch is an alien who gets trapped-then-welcomed into that small town world.

THAT is why those things matter. Not because oh haha Stitch funny like minions funny. Not because awww cute little girl yay Disney actually cast a child in a child role. Not because they literally just PLAYED THE SAME SONGS YOU LVOED FROM THE ORIGINAL to sucker you into associating hot trash with a classic.

STOP rewarding them for the low-hanging fruit, I mean do you want to go to movies and thoroughly enjoy them and talk about them and show them to your kids years from now?? You know you’re not doing that with the Live Action Mulan. You know you won’t do it with this. Because it won’t be as timelessly good.

They’re just tricking you into lowering your standards so they can make money off of your nostalgia and sacrifice nothing to force-feed you their own vomit.