#discovering self

Chapters: 16/? Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Original Non-Binary Character Additional Tags: Minor Bruce Banner - Freeform, Minor Thor Odinson - Freeform, Background Natasha Romanov/Clint Barton - Freeform, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Platonic BDSM, Non-Sexual Submission, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, handler!Steve, Bucky Barnes Recovering, POV Alternating, Hair Brushing, Hair Washing, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, (if Bucky's hand kink can be considered pining), Weird Consent, it/its pronouns, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Dissociation, Panic Attacks, Eventual Sex, Magical Healing Kink, Collars, Marking, Breathplay, A Truly Ridiculous Amount of Plot as a Vehicle for my Kink, Google Translate has committed violence against the Russian language, Bucky Needs a Nap, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, Dom Steve Rogers, Sub Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Remembers, references to hydra trash party, Bathing/Washing, Hand Feeding, Food Issues, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Therapy, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Whump, Genderqueer Bucky Barnes, Nonbinary Bucky Barnes, The Most Angsty Handjob in the History of Handjobs, Biting, Rough Kissing, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, JARVIS is a good bro, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Series: Part 3 of A Strange Sensation Summary:

He carefully removed the gauze covering its upper quadriceps and guided the Soldier into the oversized shower stall. It was capable of performing its own cleansing routines, but this handler had initiated shared showers early in their cohabitation. It was not irregular, except that all previous handlers had used this time for recreational purposes as well. The Captain seemed only to take satisfaction in thoroughly cleansing the body, as one might perform maintenance on a valuable rifle. A fitting comparison, if it had not jammed and misfired today.

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In which the Soldier tries some new foods, the Captain has a few crises, the Widow pulls some strings, Hawkeye makes a new friend, Iron Man lends a hand, and the Falcon is still Very Done.

Chapter 16

Snippet:

“Sir,” it said hesitantly, “a request.”

He put aside his reports, and his hand slid down to its shoulder. “Sure honey, what is it?”

The Soldier pivoted so that it was facing him. It lowered the head and placed the hands flat on its thighs, presenting submission and deference as best it could. “This asset proposes… a secondary mission.”

“And what is this mission, exactly?” The commander sounded amused, his voice light, as if he was pleased by its initiative.

The Soldier continued with slightly more confidence. “Gather intelligence on confectionary substance ‘toffee,’ as relevant to circa nineteen-sixties USSR. Obtain appropriate substance, with your permission, sir. Objective: a… a gift for Agent Romanova. To make recompense for this asset’s actions.”

Found this going through some things, thought it should be filed away:

Most people feel like it’s weird to be alone. I struggle with that thought because though I want company  I enjoy being alone. I feel I thrive when I’m alone.  Every experience is an adventure. In my opinion it’s because you have no one to express  anxieties or feelings to while you’re on your way. Contrary to group outings, where commonly you say     “Wouldn’t it be crazy if...” , “I have a feeling that...” or “imagine...”

  The openng lines of Kate DiCamillo’s new book for middle schoolers – Louisiana’s Way Home – reminded me of a resolution I have yet to complete:

“I am going to write it all down, so that what happened to me will be known, so that if someone were to stand at their window at night and look up at the stars and think, My goodness, whatver happened to Louisiana Elefante? Where did she go? They will…

‘He introduced me to the Sun, forgetting we’d already met’

He introduced me to the Sun, forgetting we’d already met Year ago when we’d lie together on the hill our front. We’d dance in the rain, we’d grab hold of the rope swing Toss ourselves into the river, tumbling down, laughing.

Now he acts like I haven’t been waiting in the back Loosening my grip on him, raised on the promise he’d Bring me back out into the light before I wasted away Like an…

Who Are You: Discovering and Developing Your Self-Identity

Heyo Everyone!

This was an unexpected topic that I had no intentions of writing about.  Sometimes these become the best topics and posts though. Every year as it gets close to my birthday I do a personal self-assessment of the year that is coming to a close and what my favorite parts were and what I want to do to improve this upcoming personal year.  

For anyone that knows me they know, 17 is my…